Social Media Day Jokes

What do pimples and social media influencers have in common?

They both start off small, randomly grow huge, explode, then leave a n**... scar until one day we forget they were ever there.
That's all guys, bye.

I've given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.

Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I've eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works. I already have three people following me… two police officers and a psychiatrist.

Don't forget to use social media to say Happy fathers day to your father who doesn't use social media and won't see it

A teen goes to a party one day.

He dances for a bit, then he decides to get some punch but sees the line is long so he goes back to dancing. He enters the line but sees the line is still long. So, he dances some more, grabs some food, and scrolls through social media. Eventually he enters the line again. Finally he says: "This punchline is taking too long."

In the old days, folks used to say "tisk, tisk" to shame others

Now social media connects us to millions, and allows us to multi-tisk.

going on social media these days is like going to church

after 5mins, I feel guilty af

Give a millennial a smartphone and he'll live for a day...

... any longer than that and he'll become a mindless, soulless, social media zombie.

I'm slightly peturbed by people these days showing off in weird, but understandable ways on social media.

Weird flex, but ok.

Most redittors would make excellent Presidents.

We already sleep, eat junk food, watch TV and post on social media 21 hours a day.

You gotta be careful on social media these days.

I mean, just today I accepted a friend request from Xerox. Turns out it was a scan.