The Best 79 Social Jokes
Following is our collection of Social jokes which are very funny. There are some social mediums jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these social social security puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Social Jokes and Puns
'90s kids won't get this
Social security
I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions
1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate
Depression
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Took a Cab Home
With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with all of you about drinking and driving.
As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several drinks of Scotch followed by some rather nice red wine... a dry Chianti I think it was. Feeling jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before, I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I'm not sure what to do with it.
What's the difference between a Social Worker and a pitbull?
You'll get some of your child back from the pitbull.
What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth?
Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue.
Typical day with a zero social filter 4 year old.
kijk
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed...
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"
.....
6 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"I'm calling social services."
A lawyer, priest, and social worker are on a ship that hits an iceberg...
The captain comes over the intercom: "Everyone please make your way to the lifeboats".
The social worker yells out: "Women & children first!"
The lawyer starts pushing his way towards the boats: "Screw the children!"
The priest responds: "Do we have time?"
Three social media news article writers walk into a bar
You won't believe what happens next.
I always wanted to tell jokes...
I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.
You can explore social cultural reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean social socially dad jokes. There are also social puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice?
Awarewolf
What did socialists use before candles?
Light bulbs.
I made a gun in the style of a social justice warrior
It has too many triggers though.
So apparently a gorilla got shot at the zoo for grabbing a kid that had wandered into its enclosure..
And social media went apeshit.
Google+ is like the gym of social networking.
We all join it, but nobody uses it.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality
Why do engineers have to practice their social skills?
So they don't forget either of them.
What's a Social Justice Warrior's favorite math course?
Triggernometry.
Me: Doctor, you've gotta help me! I'm addicted to Social Media.
Doctor: I don't follow you.
If a very social person is called a "people person"...
Then wouldn't a very social goose be called a "geese goose"?
If i had a nickel for every existential crisis
it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.
I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the Like button.
My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.
I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook...
...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
Two social justice warriors walk into a fence store...
Both took a fence
My Psychologist told me my narcissism could cause me to misread social situations
but i'm pretty sure she was just hitting on me.
2000's kids won't get this
Social security checks
What's the difference between a bomb and a social justice warrior?
The bomb actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.
What's a social gathering where everyone has beef with everyone ?
BBQ
What's the difference between a landslide and a social justice warrior?
It takes a lot of effort to trigger a landslide.
Why do social justice warriors hate dentists?
Because they make teeth straight and white.
Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs?
In a communest
90's American kids will never get this!
Social Security.
My dad's sister doesn't speak with anyone....
We call her Aunty Social
You know what separates the men from the boys?
Social services.
"I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?"
"No, I only drink when someone else is paying."
People are surprised when I tell them that I have a 4.0GPA while working and maintaining an active social life
But hey, anything is possible if you lie.
Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children
They'll go viral in no time.
What's a seal's favorite social activity?
Clubbing...
I'm so sorry
Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's furniture Emporium.
I am a social vegan.
I avoid meet.
What is Thanos favourite social media?
Obviously Snapchat
My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she wants to have sex with me.
I just scored a 180 on an IQ test answering three simple questions !
1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate
What is similar about coronavirus and sex?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either
What's the difference between Corona Virus and sex?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get both.
social distancing is great, public school shootings are down 100%
Unfortunately home school shootings are up 100%
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.
But this is as close as I could get.
The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
Flat earthers are very worried about the COVID-19 pandemic.
They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
My dad is taking social distancing very seriously
I haven't seen him in over ten years.
Guys I tried to think of a social distancing joke
but this is as close as I could get
I like to keep a gun in my nightstand drawer just in case someone breaks in
That way I can shoot myself to avoid social interaction
The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought
The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
I got pulled over in the carpool lane.
Cop: Where's your passenger?
Me: Due to social distancing they're in the car behind me.
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?
Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet
Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"
I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on Twitter and post it on a different social media platform.
Retweet if you agree.
I don't understand why everyone is saying that Americans are refusing to social distance...
...six feet is six feet, even if it's six feet under.
Why is the prostitute so bad at social distancing?
Because she only specializes in keeping 2 feet apart.
Thanos would have made a great President.
He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.
I just got kicked out of a Flat Earth Facebook group....
.... because I asked if the 1.5m social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group.
I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline has pushed anyone over the edge yet.
What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life?
Alien versus Redditor.
I am a Social Vegan
Because I avoid Meet
A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"
What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say?
Reddit.!
How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing?
Biden selves.
How do Muslims social distance?
Qur'antine
I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me farted.
Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"
This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...
If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.
If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.
If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.
My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media...
He says my disease is untweetable...
Why does Satan have social anxiety?
Because he goes through hell just to say hello
My 4 yr Old son said "Daddy, why do people make up things that their children have said for social media?
Isn't it just inherently dishonest and indicative of inability to construct a compelling narrative themselves? "
Ps: This sub in a nutshell
We've been practicing social distancing for a while now;
I think we're ready for the real deal.
My therapist told me that I'm terrible in picking up social cues.
I think she's hitting on me.
I got pulled over in the carpool lane today....
Cop: "Where is your passenger?"
Me: "Due to social distancing, he's in the car right behind me."
A teen goes to a party one day.
He dances for a bit, then he decides to get some punch but sees the line is long so he goes back to dancing. He enters the line but sees the line is still long. So, he dances some more, grabs some food, and scrolls through social media. Eventually he enters the line again. Finally he says: "This punchline is taking too long."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the social importance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working social phenomenal piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.