Social Jokes
194 social jokes and hilarious social puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about social that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best social jokes about social distancing, social studies, social worker, social media, social security, social anxiety, social science, and more. Find out how these jokes can be used to promote mutual understanding, interaction, and cultural appreciation.
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Funniest Social Short Jokes
Short social jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The social humour may include short relations jokes also.
- I scored a 175 on an IQ test with just 3 simple questions 1. My credit card number
2. My social security number
3. Uploading a scan of my birth certificate - If i had a nickel for every existential crisis it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless
- My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
- I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook groups because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
- Flat earthers are very worried about the COVID-19 pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
- I am thinking of moving to Switzerland, I hear the social benefits are really great. Their cool looking flag is a really big plus, too
- What do you call a death match between E.T. and a nerd with no social life? Alien versus Redditor.
- What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek? A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.
Credits: my bud - I got pulled over in the carpool lane. Cop: Where's your passenger?
Me: Due to social distancing they're in the car behind me. - "I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?" "No, I only drink when someone else is paying."
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Social One Liners
Which social one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with social? I can suggest the ones about culture and community.
- '90s kids won't get this Social security
- Guys I tried to think of a social distancing joke but this is as close as I could get
- I am a social vegan. I'm avoiding meets.
- Typical day with a zero social filter 4 year old. kijk
- Google+ is like the gym of social networking. We all join it, but nobody uses it.
- What is Thanos favourite social media? Obviously snapchat
- What does a socially awkward and depressed frog say? Reddit.!
- I made a gun in the style of a social justice warrior It has too many triggers though.
- How do Muslims social distance? Qur'antine
- What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid? Reality
- My dad's sister doesn't speak with anyone.... We call her Aunty Social
- Why do social justice warriors hate dentists? Because they make teeth straight and white.
- I am a social vegan I avoid meet.
Ba dum tiss - Two social justice warriors walk into a fence store... Both took a fence
- How do you complete a family tree easily? Post on social media that you won the lottery.
Social Media Jokes
Here is a list of funny social media jokes and even better social media puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently people are getting paid now to mention products in their social media posts That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's furniture Emporium.
- I hate it when people outright copy and paste somebody's joke on twitter and post it on a different social media platform. Retweet if you agree.
- Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the Like button.
- Me: Doctor, you've gotta help me! I'm addicted to Social Media. Doctor: I don't follow you.
- What's the difference between a social media influencer and a philosophy major? The philosophy major needed a degree to be useless.
- Antivaxxers should create social media accounts for their children They'll go viral in no time.
- My 6yo sister asked me to post this joke on social media.. (Don't be too harsh) What was Billy doing in class??
He was billy dancing. - I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook... ...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
- My doctor refuses to post my diagnosis to social media... He says my disease is untweetable...
- I was going to make a social media platform called "Please Try Again Later", but I figured Reddit would sue me for copyright violation.
Social Justice Jokes
Here is a list of funny social justice jokes and even better social justice puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between a bomb and a social justice warrior? The bomb actually accomplishes something when it's triggered.
- What's the difference between a landslide and a social justice warrior? It takes a lot of effort to trigger a landslide.
- What time does a social justice warrior get up in the morning? It's hard to say, she's already woke.
- What do you call a werewolf who has taken an interest in social justice? Awarewolf
- What's a Social Justice Warrior's favorite math course? Triggernometry.
- What's the difference between a social justice warrior and an IED? You can't trigger an IED just by disagreeing with it.
- What's the difference between a gun and a social justice warrior? The gun has only one trigger.
- How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb? Twelve, one to change it and the other eleven to start a support group called "recovering from the darkness"
- What's the difference between a social justice warrior and a knife? The knife is edgier and has a point.
- The Social Justice League doesn't have a Batmobile They have a tumbler.
Social Distancing Jokes
Here is a list of funny social distancing jokes and even better social distancing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Flat earthers are very worried about the pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
- How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing? Biden selves.
- I don't understand why everyone is saying that Americans are refusing to social distance... ...six feet is six feet, even if it's six feet under.
- How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs? Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
- social distancing is great, public school shootings are down 100% Unfortunately home school shootings are up 100%
- My dad is taking social distancing very seriously I haven't seen him in over ten years.
- Thanos would have made a great President. He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.
- A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"
- My girlfriend and I have been practicing social distancing since the start of the pandemic. She calls it a restraining order for some weird reason.
- What do you call a Sikh guy who keeps to himself? Social Distance Singh.
Social Justice Warrior Jokes
Here is a list of funny social justice warrior jokes and even better social justice warrior puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Social Justice Warriors Favorite Sandwich: Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato
- What's the opposite of Social Justice Warrior? A Status Quosader
- Dogs were the first social justice warriors They hate mailmen.
- After watching social justice warrior's behaviour on YouTube. TIL: the old saying is true... War doesn't determine who's on the right, only who's on the left.
- Social justice warriors love Captain Marvel because she's a powerful woman... ...but hate her because she's Binary.
- Why was a social justice warrior being held in solitude confinement in a mental institute? She attacked the guards when they tried to force her into a straight white male jacket.
- What do you call an angry Social Justice Warrior? A MadLib
- If there was a mathematical equation to describe social justice warriors... It would be a really nice log.
An ideal log. - What does a mechanical engineer have in common with a social justice warrior? Tolerance
- What is the simularity between bad rap music and Social Justice Warriors.? It's just great when the BPM drops to zero.
Social Studies Jokes
Here is a list of funny social studies jokes and even better social studies puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Schools should have a class designed for introverts... *anti-social studies*
- What do you call a socially awkward person who studies female reproductive systems A shynecologist
- What do you learn in both Math and Social Studies class? Inequalities
- I think my friend's going to fall asleep in social studies. Whether he knows it or not, he'll go down in history.
- A recent Social Behavior study showed that... ...2.6M people in Taiwan had Taipei personalities...
Cheerful Fun Social Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about social you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean political jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make social pranks.
What do you call a large predatory bird with poor social skills?
Hawkward
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Depression
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I felt like I needed to end it all, so I called the s**... Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call making your b**... clap for likes and upvotes?
Social netwerking
Took a Cab Home
With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with all of you about drinking and driving.
As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends. Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several drinks of Scotch followed by some rather nice red wine... a dry Chianti I think it was. Feeling jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before, I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I'm not sure what to do with it.
What's the difference between a Social Worker and a pitbull?
You'll get some of your child back from the pitbull.
Socially awkward people would probably make great geologists
cause they're always staring at the ground.
What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth?
Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue.
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed...
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"
.....
6 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"I'm calling social services."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many social justice warriors does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They just hold the lightbulb and cry until the universe spins around them.
Don't forget to use social media to say Happy Fathers Day to your father who doesn't use social media and won't see it
I always wanted to tell jokes...
I always wanted to tell jokes, but I had pretty severe social anxiety. So, I wrote the jokes down on pieces of paper and taped the paper to frisbees. Then I threw the frisbees at passers by so they could read my jokes.
The trouble was, most of them flew right over their heads.
What did socialists use before candles?
Light bulbs.
Do you remember how before social media nobody cared what, where and with whom you ate?
Still nobody cares.
Social Security. Get it?
You will when you're 65.
Tape is so anti social
It likes to stick to itself.
If you had your social security number in exact dollars how much money would you have?
I'd have 314,159,265
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So apparently a gorilla got shot at the zoo for grabbing a kid that had wandered into its enclosure..
And social media went a**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Socialism is like breathing water...
You just aren't doing it right! Here let me try...
Why do engineers have to practice their social skills?
So they don't forget either of them.
Socialism or Communism are the only path to evolution, and Capitalism is the root of all evil.
> Sent from my iPhone 7
Few Saturdays I switch off the light and stay the whole night in darkness
So that the neighbors might think that I've an active social life...
A vegan club is the worst place for social activity.
It's impossible to meat people there.
If a very social person is called a "people person"...
Then wouldn't a very social goose be called a "geese goose"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is everyone a social justice warrior ?
Couldn't they pick another class ? Like social justice mage or social justice hunter ?
What's the difference between God and a social worker?
God doesn't pretend to be a social worker
What's a social gathering where everyone has beef with everyone ?
BBQ
Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs?
In a communest
What's Leatherface's favourite social media?
Facebook.
As someone with social anxiety, I must say ...
Er, uhm ... Uuuh, I'll send you a text later.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what separates the men from the boys?
Social services.
People are surprised when I tell them that I have a 4.0GPA while working and maintaining an active social life
But hey, anything is possible if you lie.
I'm thinking of starting a social media network for chickens
But not as my full-time job. Just as a way to make hens meet.
What's a seal's favorite social activity?
Clubbing...
I'm so sorry
I was trying to come up with a joke about social security
I abandoned the idea because you probably won't get it
Why do socialists only drink decaffeinated tea?
Because proper tea is theft
Socialism is the Axe Body Spray of political ideologies
It never does what it claims to do but people too young to know better keep buying it anyway.
I wonder why animals have only two genders.
Probably because they don't use social media.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.
Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.
"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.
Give up?
A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, and allows him to attain social prestige far above his station if successful enough.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Socialist, a Marxist, and a Postmodernist walk into a s**... club.
The bouncer checks their ID's and says
"sorry guys, come back when you're 21."
The university president was inconsolable when the wing housing social sciences and languages burned down.
"Oh, the Humanities!" he cried.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is similar about coronavirus and s**...?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either
Day 1: Staying home, avoiding social gatherings and eating food in my room
Day 50: Continuing with this process
Day 100: Still feeling okay
Day 2500: Now a global virus has arrived and others are doing what i do.
Want to follow social distancing guidelines but still meet with your friends and family?
Just gather in groups of three, as there will be 6 feet between all of you :)
The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought
The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.
Cake day is a sad reminder
Its been 3 years i need to get a social life
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the p**... so bad at social distancing?
Because she only specializes in keeping 2 feet apart.
I've given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles.
Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I've eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them.
And it works. I already have three people following me… two police officers and a psychiatrist.
