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Social Distancing Jokes

76 social distancing jokes and hilarious social distancing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about social distancing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Social Distancing Short Jokes

Short social distancing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The social distancing humour may include short social anxiety jokes also.

  1. I just got kicked out of flat earth Facebook groups because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
  2. Flat earthers are very worried about the COVID-19 pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
  3. I got pulled over in the carpool lane. Cop: Where's your passenger?
    Me: Due to social distancing they're in the car behind me.
  4. Flat earthers are very worried about the pandemic. They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
  5. The Covid19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
  6. I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group. I just got kicked out of Flat Earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing guideline has pushed anyone over the edge yet.
  7. I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. But this is as close as I could get.
  8. I just got kicked out of a Flat Earth Facebook group.... .... because I asked if the 1.5m social distancing had pushed anyone over the edge yet.
  9. How will Joe and Jill Biden spend thanksgiving with proper social distancing? Biden selves.
  10. I don't understand why everyone is saying that Americans are refusing to social distance... ...six feet is six feet, even if it's six feet under.

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Social Distancing One Liners

Which social distancing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with social distancing? I can suggest the ones about isolation and social skills.

  1. Guys I tried to think of a social distancing joke but this is as close as I could get
  2. How do Muslims social distance? Qur'antine
  3. Your momma's so fat... ... no one can socially distance her.
  4. My dad is taking social distancing very seriously I haven't seen him in over ten years.
  5. Yo mama's so fat She can't practice social distancing.
  6. What do you call a Sikh guy who keeps to himself? Social Distance Singh.
  7. I hate social distancing. Seriously? I can't be within 300 feet of a school?
  8. What game should you not play when social distancing? Space invaders
  9. Why did the chicken cross the road To comply with the 6ft social distancing mandate
  10. What do you call a riot wih social distancing? A repellion.
  11. Your mama is so fat... She can't socially distance.
  12. Why did the chicken cross the road? Social Distancing.
  13. How does Uber deliver food during COVID-19 social distancing? Uber yeets
  14. What do you get if you don't follow Social distancing? STD
    Socially Transmitted Disease

Social Distancing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about social distancing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean social networking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make social distancing pranks.

I saw two women exercising...

They were taking a walk but were way too close to each other given the social distancing orders. When I confronted them about the need to keep at least 6 feet apart, one of them looked at me dumbfounded and said, "We're just trying to flatten our curves!"

Didja hear about the two fat chicks flouting social distancing rules while going for a walk?

They just wanted to flatten their curves.

social distancing is great, public school shootings are down 100%

Unfortunately home school shootings are up 100%

A fathom is a unit of length equivalent to 6 feet, so not respecting social distance would be rather...

...unfathomable.

Because of social distancing, this April 21 is no longer...

National Surprise Drug Test Day

I have no problem following these stay at home and social distancing orders...

...after being on house arrest and being ordered to stay 500 feet away from someone, it's a piece of cake!

Unfortunately men are still getting infected even when they abide by social distancing

That's because six feet to them is in reality 5'8"

I hear all the kids that did the Tide Pod challenge can't get the Corona virus...

Because their social distancing is 6 feet vertical.

When it comes to social distancing and covering your face in public...

We have to give credit to Muslim women.
What other group of people are covered from head to toe, walking six feet behind their husband?

Coronavirus has been very stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

In my state they've allowed golf courses to reopen and they adjusted the social distancing rules when golfing so now...

...you only have to be fore feet apart.

Why is the police officer social distancing himself from the fridge?

So he can flatten the curve

Why can't flat earthers practice social distancing?

They would run out of room and fall off the edge.

Want to follow social distancing guidelines but still meet with your friends and family?

Just gather in groups of three, as there will be 6 feet between all of you :)

Quarantining and social distancing for coronavirus has caused dating to become less distinct

It's harder to make out

My father is a dendrologist. When our state was locked down, we practiced social distancing like everyone else.

And yet somehow he still got sycamore....

The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought

The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.

Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

Roll, roll, roll your joint, twist it at the end

Spark it up, take a drag and pass it to... myself I guess. Sorry, social distancing and all, roll your own.

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

I gave my dad a pad on the back to say "Good morning". He said "Social distancing."

I replied, "I thought you already bought life insurance."

COVID-19 didn't kill John Conway. It was the social distancing.

He had fewer than 2 neighbors.
[Credit to "Darren New" on YouTube for this one. Also, if you find this funny, you're an awful person.]

A fathom is a unit of measure equal to 6 feet

Therefore, a cluster of rally attendees not practicing social distancing could be deemed "unfathomable"

Why is the p**... so bad at social distancing?

Because she only specializes in keeping 2 feet apart.

Thanos would have made a great President.

He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.

What did the cows write on their protest signs when the farmer made them social distance due to COVID?

We just want to be herd.

Social Distancing is so unbelievably s**...

If corona came from China, surely it can go another 6ft.

My girlfriend and I have been practicing social distancing since the start of the pandemic.

She calls it a restraining order for some weird reason.

I was queuing to go into the supermarket when the man in front of me f**....

Before I could say anything, he said, "If you heard anything it means you're not following social distancing. But if you can smell it, luckily for you it means that you're covid negative!"

Due to social distancing, only six of the seven dwarfs can meet at their favorite coffee shop.

One of them isn't Happy.

A court declares social distancing unenforceable in Alabama

Reasons the judge: The entire state's population can reasonably be considered as a family unit

This joke about Covid circulating around Chinese web boards...

If someone walking ahead of you farts and you can can hear it, that means you're not practicing correct social distancing.
If you can smell it, that means you're not wearing your mask properly.
If you are wearing your mask properly and can still smell it, then congratulations, you don't have covid-19.

We've been practicing social distancing for a while now;

I think we're ready for the real deal.

I got pulled over in the carpool lane today....

Cop: "Where is your passenger?"
Me: "Due to social distancing, he's in the car right behind me."

Covid restrictions...

I'm down with social distancing, but I think my local grocery store has gone too far.
They've put a big X on the floor to show where to stand in line at the register.
I've seen enough Roadrunner cartoons, I'm not falling for that.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To social distance.
(Credit to my 10 year old niece for coming up with this one.)

There were so many people at my house today without masks and social distancing, imagine the stench…

Lucky I haven't been able to smell anything in the past few days…

I dunno why my work has posters up saying 'practice social distancing'

I mean, do we really need more practice?
I figure we're all pretty good at it by now.

Bar ad:

Due to the need for social distancing, the bar is operating at 1/3 of its capacity. Therefore, we kindly ask those who cannot drink for three to leave and give way to the professionals!