The Best 17 Soccer Match Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Soccer Match jokes. There are some soccer match jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these soccer match puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Soccer Match Jokes and Puns

A man is talking to his doctor about a recurring dream he keeps having.

"I keep dreaming about a soccer match between elephants and mice" the patient said

"No worries" says the doctor and gives the patient some medicine, "take this just before bed and you'll have a dreamless sleep"

"Ok, thank you doctor" responded the man "but can I start it tomorrow? The finals are tonight"

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.

"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"

"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."

The man refuses though and says:

"Can I take it tomorrow though? Today is the finals"

A soccer referee picks up his phone during a match.

**14 Missed Calls**

In today's European Championship soccer match, several players from the Czech Republic were seen slipping on the grass repeatedly in their loss to Denmark, while their Danish opponents didn't seem to have an issue at all.

Must be an issue with Czechs and balances.

I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands.

She's a keeper.

Why did the politically correct soccer team never win any matches?

Because no offense.

Did you guys see the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer match?

Egypt 8 .. Ethiopia didn't

Saudi Arabia won against Egypt in a Soccer match.

Egyptians had a better plan but Saudis had better execution.

In the 90's Arsenal Soccer Club

Had a player called David Dicks. When he was injured,the Newspaper wrote"Arsenal to play without Dicks". The coach was upset so the Newspaper changed the headline to read"Arsenal to play with Dicks out"... A record number of women attended the match

What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

Why didn't Jesus play in the Bethlehem X Nazareth soccer match?

Because he was suspended.

You can explore soccer match reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean soccer match dad jokes. There are also soccer match puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

During the soccer match little Johny sits in the front row.

His friend asks:

How did you get tickets?

From my brother - respond Petya.

And where is your brother?

At home.

Looking for his ticket.

How did the Dickbutts win their soccer match?

They came from behind.

Germany and Ethiopia had a soccer match recently

The final score was Germany: 8 Ethiopia: didn't

Last weekend I went to see my gf's soccer match and she did this awesome save...

...She's definitely a keeper!


A soccer judge accidentally had given a condom instead of the yellow card to a player. Nobody broke the rules in that match any more.

Sportsnet (*&(*World Now Match Manchester United vs Tottenham live soccer

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the soccer match jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working soccer match piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes