Soccer Goals Jokes
18 soccer goals jokes and hilarious soccer goals puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soccer goals that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Soccer Goals Short Jokes
Short soccer goals jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soccer goals humour may include short soccer ball jokes also.
- I brought my girlfriend to watch one of my soccer matches. When an opponent was about to score a goal, she stormed the field and prevented it with her bare hands. She's a keeper.
- How many Polish soccer players does it take to score a goal? 2: One polish player to score the goal, and one polish goal keeper to try to stop him.
- I started watching football (soccer) because I could see it's very relevant to my life... Little to no goals.
- How's the soccer game going? Good! It's 3-1 now. The first goal was made by Ronaldo and the other two by someone named replay.
- A father was fetching his son home from a soccer game. Dad: How was the game, son?
Son: I scored three goals!
Dad: That's great! What was the score?
Son: 0-3 - I told my dad that all goals are just holes. He said, "I told your mom that, but now she won't let me bring the soccer ball to bed!"
- Why did the soccer coach become a high school counselor. Because he wanted his team to make more goals
- It's been my life dream to score a point at a soccer game... I finally accomplished my goal!
- You know what's it called when a man and his wife score in a soccer game? Relationship Goals
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Soccer Goals One Liners
Which soccer goals one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soccer goals? I can suggest the ones about soccer game and soccer match.
- Soccer is a strange game. Soccer is a bunch of people running away from their goals.
- What did Messi say in his goodbye letter to the soccer goal You will be missed
- Which soccer playing Star Wars character is a prolific goal scorer? Chewbacca the net.
- Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
Soccer Goals Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about soccer goals you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean soccer player jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soccer goals pranks.
Baseball & Football -George Carlin
Baseball is different from any other sport, very different. For instance, in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the offensive team; in baseball the defensive team puts the ball in play, and only the defense is allowed to touch the ball. In fact, in baseball if an offensive player touches the ball intentionally, he's out; sometimes unintentionally, he's out.
Also: in football,basketball, soccer, volleyball, and all sports played with a ball, you score with the ball and in baseball the ball prevents you from scoring.
In most sports the team is run by a coach; in baseball the team is run by a manager. And only in baseball does the manager or coach wear the same clothing the players do. If you'd ever seen John Madden in his Oakland Raiders uniform,you'd know the reason for this custom.
Now, I've mentioned football. Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this country. And as such, it seems they ought to be able to tell us something about ourselves and our values.
I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.
Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?
In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.
In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.
Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.
Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!