The Best 40 Socc Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Socc jokes. There are some socc soccer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these socc insist puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Socc Jokes and Puns
Four men were stranded in a desert.
Suddenly, 1 of them died.
The other 3 decided that the only way to survive was to eat the dead body.
The 1st man said, "I support Liverpool, so I'll eat his liver."
The 2nd man said, "I support Manchester, so I'll eat his chest."
The 3rd man said, "I support Arsenal... but I'm not very hungry!"
A soccer team goes to a bar after a big win.
The keeper decides to hang out with his close friend, a defense player and his girlfriend. As it comes time to head home, the defender pulls the keeper aside and decides to compliment him on his play.
"You know, you're good as a keeper."
"Oh? What brought this about?"
"Well to start, you've been keeping me from scoring all night."
3 soccer players, one plays for Manchester United, one for Liverpool and one for Arsenal, are lost in the desert.
They come across a dead camel and are having trouble deciding who gets what? So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. The player from Liverpool goes, well in that case I'll eat the LIVER. Then guy from ARSEnal says...i'm not hungry....
Why are soccer players always so pale?
There's no light in the closet.
Why do soccer announcers make terrible business executives?
They constantly discuss productivity GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALs.
Twilight's like soccer
Twilight's like soccer. They run around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand.
Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant?
Because he was Messi
What is a soccer player's favorite drink?
Sham-pain.
~SoccER~!!~~Ipswich... Town.. vs.. Southampton.. live.. Streaming.. FA.. CUP.. Online.
Why is women's soccer so boring?
Because all the good female athletes play in men's leagues.
Thank you, thank you.
What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?
"LINE IT!"
You can explore socc good reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean socc favorite dad jokes. There are also socc puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the soccer coach become a high school counselor.
Because he wanted his team to make more goals
So a soccerball walks into a bar
The bartender kicked him out.
Why don't soccer players get hot while running?
Because they hve so many fans
Soccer
A soccer judge accidentally had given a condom instead of the yellow card to a player. Nobody broke the rules in that match any more.
Why is women's soccer so rare?
It's quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
[Soccer] What's Javier Hernández's favourite cereals?
Chicha-weetos!
The best soccer team in the world
We will put gays as defenders, since they pressure well from the back.
Arabs, Chinese and Caucasians in mid because they bring color to the field.
Jews will be attackers because it's frowned upon to chase them.
And a 50 year old nun as our goalkeeper.
Because she hasn't let anyone in for three decades straight.
Why soccer players don't play Uno?
Because they don't like to get red cards.
A soccer referee picks up his phone during a match.
**14 Missed Calls**
There was this former soccer star...
who quit at the peak of his career. When a reporter asked him why, he replied It was Messi business.
Why is women's soccer so rare?
Which soccer playing Star Wars character is a prolific goal scorer?
Chewbacca the net.
How did the US soccer team announce their squad
Without Freddy Adu
The soccer world championship for men is called the World Cup
Is the women's version the World Bra?
My gf's soccer team won 1-0
She's a keeper.
A soccer mom walked into a tattoo parlor and asked for a Christmas tree on her left thigh and a turkey on the right thigh.
When they were done the artist asked why she wanted these tattoos.
She replied, "My husband always complains that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Why did the soccer player need a shower?
Because he was Messi
EVERY SOCCER PLAYER'S FAVORITE BEVERAGE?
Penal-tea!
It's all soccer jokes now
What's the difference between Enland, and a teabag?...
Well, the teabag stays in the cup longer than Enland
What do you get what two Soccer players see each other on the street walking on opposite sides?
An assault charge.
Soccer is the only sport that's not a game of inches.
It's a game of feet.
What did the soccer coach trapped in a cave with his players say when they were finally freed?
"See ya at practice tomorrow boys"
How did the 12 soccer players and their couch survive for nine days in the cave before being found?
Because originally there were thirteen players.
What does soccer have in common with E-Sports?
If fat people and nerds are good at it, it's not a real sport.
Why did the soccer player give his girlfriend goalie gloves for Christmas?
Because she's a keeper.
What's a soccer fan's favorite lotion brand?
Olay, olay, olay, olay
How's the soccer game going?
Good! It's 3-1 now. The first goal was made by Ronaldo and the other two by someone named replay.
What is soccer fans' favorite soap?
Olay! Olay Olay Olay!
Soccer is a strange game.
Soccer is a bunch of people running away from their goals.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the socc fans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working socc footballer piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.