The Best 22 Sobs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sobs jokes. There are some sobs laughter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sobs cries puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sobs Jokes and Puns

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in a maternity ward, waiting to give birth.

The brunette says, "I think I'm having a boy because when we conceived, my husband was on top".
The redhead smiles and says, "in that case, I'm having a girl. I'm always on top!"
At this, the blonde starts crying hysterically. The other two calm her down and ask her what's wrong.
"I'm having puppies!" she sobs

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were in their obstetrician's waiting room discussing their pregnancies.

The brunette said she was certain she was going to have a boy, because she was on top when she got pregnant!

The red head said she was certain she was going to have a girl because she was in the missionary position when she got pregnant!

All of a sudden the blonde burst into tears. Between sobs the brunette & red head finally got her to tell them why she became so upset. She told them she believes she's going to have puppies!!!!!

A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and

A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and asks what happened. The man replies: My wife told me that she wouldn't talk to me for a month. The waiter replies, Oh no, that's horrible! Man: Yes!!! (Sobs) Today that month is over.

Sobs joke, A man sits in a restaurant and cries. The waiter comes and

Joe : Barack....

Joe : Barack....
Obama : yes Joe, we have to go our on ways after our term is over.
Joe : I'll miss you man. I'm going to be....
Obama : Don't you say it !
Joe : I'm going to be ... *cries* .....*sobs*.
Obama : don't you ever say it !
Joe : it's just.... I'm going to be... *sighs*
Joe : OBAMASELFFF

Interruption of the speech of Comrade Stalin

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes.

"Who sneezed?" (Silence.)

"First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Applause.)

"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" (Long, loud applause.)

"Who sneezed?" (Silence.) ...

A dejected voice in the back: "It was me" (Sobs.)

Stalin leans forward: "Bless you, comrade!"

Thanks to allrussias for glorious joke!


A blonde, a brunette, and a red head

Are all sitting in the waiting area of the ob/gyn. The brunette says, "I heard if he's on top you're going to have a boy." The red head says, "well I heard if she's on top you're going to have a girl."

The blonde bursts into tears. The other two rush to her asking what's wrong.

Through tears and sobs she says, "I'm going to have puppies".

What kind of ship never sinks?

A dictatorship.

*sobs*

Sobs joke, What kind of ship never sinks?

Little Johnny and the Birds and the Bees

Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears.

Confused, his father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."

A robber enters a house and holds the wife at gunpoint and threatens the husband to hand over all the money and jewellery..

The husband sobs " Please take whatever you want, but leave her alone" .

Robber : " Wow you must really love your wife ".

Husband " Actually she is my neighbour's wife. Mine will come back from shopping any minute" .

Two hadrons are walking down the street

Baryon starts crying all of a sudden. His friend Meson turns and asks, what's wrong Baryon?

Baryon sobs, Everybody says I'm odd.

Meson tries his best to cheer him up. Keep your head up buddy, we all have our quarks!

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead...

Were sitting in the waiting room at the OB-GYN. Each of them were pregnant and having a chat.
"I'm going to have a boy cause I was on top" the brunette said. "Ah well then I'm going to have a girl cause I was on bottom" the redhead replied. The blonde thought for a moment, then started to cry. The other two looked at her concerned and the brunette asked "What's wrong honey?" Then the blonde replied through her sobs "I'm going to have puppies!"

You can explore sobs moans reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sobs wept dad jokes. There are also sobs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man comes home after work to find his girlfriend crying

As he walks in the door, he asks her, "What's wrong?"

"I heard on the news you were a pedophile!" She replies through wracking sobs.

"Well," he says, "that's an awfully big word for a third-grader!"

Three women went to see the OB/GYN

The Brunette came out and said, "We had sex in the missionary position, and we're going to have a boy!"

The Redhead came out and said, "We had sex in the cowgirl position, and we're having a girl!"

The Blonde started sobbing as she stood to go in. Between sobs, she said, "Oh no! We're having puppies!"

Dixie Kong ran up to Donkey Kong crying..

"What wrong?" asked Donkey Kong.

"Someone told me I could get bananas from a hornet's nest so I hit it and the hornets came out and chased me!" Dixie sobs.

"Sounds like you did a Diddy." says Donkey.

"A Diddy? What's that mean?" asks Dixie.

DK explains, "I'm sayin, 'Do a Diddy'. Diddy dumb, Diddy do."

A woman wakes up on the morning of her wedding anniversary and her husband wasn't there.

It was 2.00am and she was concerned. She searched the house until finally she found him in the basement sobbing uncontrollably.

She tried to comfort him and asked, "honey, what's the matter? "

Between sobs he answers, "Do you remember when your dad the cop caught us, underage, making out in your room?

And he threatened that if I didnt marry you immediately he would make sure I got 20 years in jail?"

"Yeah, I remember," she answered.

He sobbed, "I would have gotten out of jail today...."

A horse walks into a bar

The bartender asks, "why the long face?"

The horse starts crying. In between the sobs, he says "it's not my fault I look like Sarah Jessica Parker!"

Sobs joke, A horse walks into a bar

A depressed French baker sobs bitterly into the dough...

His life is pain.

I woke at 6am to my girlfriend crying in a black dress

I asked what was wrong, she replied between sobs, "I guess I'm just a mourning person"

A man walks in on his roommate, Internet, crying in the other room.

When he asks why, Internet sobs: "Everything I touch turns gay!"


Mom: (weeping) Son…your Grandpa…he…he…

He, overdosed on viagra… (sobs)

Dad: i'm sure this i HARD for you…

(Not my joke heard this and died laughing, had to share)

A physic's major jumps from a bridge

When the teacher hears the news he sobs - "He had so much potential!"

An old dirty Russian joke

(Russian relative told me this one.)

A kid is in a mental hospital, and his mom comes to visit. She sees him sitting near a broken chair, crying.

"Mom, Ivan keeps throwing his stool at me!"

"Well, throw one back at him!"

"I can't," he sobs, "Mine's liquid."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sobs weep jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sobs sob piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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