Soaps Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

A couple decide to give sex a codeword...

because of their young children they decide to call having sex "doing the wash"
One day the father comes home to find his wife on the couch watching her soaps and the kids running around the house, and he asks, "honey, let's go to our room and *do the wash*!
She says, "Not now, I'm just really into these soaps right now, give me a half hour or so..."
When she's done she finds him and asks him if he's still ready to "do the wash" and he replies,
"Naw, it was a small load and I did it by hand, anyway."

The guests in the hotel room I'm cleaning are always stealing all the soaps, shower gels and shampoos from their rooms...

Dirty bastards!

U.S. FDA orders antibacterials removed from consumer soaps

Yeah, I didn't really give a shit either

I'm not a racist

Some of my best soaps are jews.

Three Apple Engineers are using the restroom...

The first man finishes up and begins washing his hands in the sink. He soaps up both his hands and arms and thoroughly washes all the way up to his elbows not missing a spot. He then proceeds to use half a roll of paper towels to dry up and announces to the others in the restroom,

"I graduated from Stanford University, and there they taught us to be clean and unsullied."

The next man finishes up and walks over to the sink. Using only a few seconds of water and small squirt of soap he lathers up his hands and then very quickly rinses them. He then dries them off with just one paper towel and announces to the other two in the restroom,

"I graduated from UC Berkeley, and they taught us to be thrifty and frugal."

The third man zips up his pants and makes his way for the door, skipping the sinks. As he opens the door to exit he turns the other two men and says,

"I graduated from San Jose State University, and they taught us not to piss on our hands."

Three men at a Urinal

Three men are standing at a urinal taking a piss. One from Penn State, one from Michigan State, and one from OSU. The first two finish and walk over to wash their hands.

The man from Penn State soaps up and washes all the way up to his elbows. He looks over at the other man and says " They taught us Cleanliness at Penn State."

The man from Michigan State sniffs derisively then proceeds to wash only his finger tips, turning on the water only to rinse off the soap. "They taught us Efficiency at Michigan State."

Meanwhile the man from OSU finishes and begins to walk out. The man from Penn State says "Hey aren't you gonna wash your hands?"

"Nah, at OSU they taught us not to piss on our hands."

What are the funniest soaps jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Soaps? Well, here are the best Soaps puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Soaps pick up lines to share with friends.


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