The Best 80 Soap Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Soap jokes. There are some soap baths jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these soap detergent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Soap Jokes and Puns
What does an actor sing in the shower?
Soap opera
How do you make tear-free soap?
Don't use child labor.
A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day
A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars.
The clerk looks and her and says "I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"
"Yeah" she responds, "how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"
"Nah, you're ugly"
Why dose the navy use liquid soap?
Because it takes longer to pick up.
Let's hear some Confucius Jokes
I'll start
Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.
I used to be addicted to having sex with bars of soap.
But then I came clean.
What is the best thing about liquid soap?
It takes longer to pick up.
What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?
"I think we're in sink."
There was a deaf mute
who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.
I went on a tour of a soap factory last week.
I forgot which one it was, but I'm sure it will Dawn on me.
Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?
Because it's harder to pick up.
You can explore soap cleanser reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean soap rinse dad jokes. There are also soap puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap?
It takes longer to pick up.
You hear about the guy who was accused of jerking off with hand soap for his erectile disfunction?
Well, he finally came clean.
Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?
He was expecting showers.
How to tell if women is single
A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.
What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath
One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.
I use to know someone who was addicted to soap.
He's clean now
One hundred bacteria walk into a bar...
of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor.
Why do sailors use liquid soap?
It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games
Until you get soap in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera
Did you hear about the guy that was accused of using his boss's hand soap as lube for masturbating?
He came clean.
I used to be addicted to soap....
I'm clean now.
What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?
One has hope in her soul,
The other has soap in her hole.
Man sentenced to five years for masturbating with soap in public.
Came clean in court.
If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)
What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!
My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera
I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
Why should you never trust soap?
It's an emulsive lyer.
My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night.
Another day, another Dawn
what do apples, dish washer soap, the muppets, a black guy, beer, yankee candels, and the keyboard on a flip phone all have in common?
they all help make a really convoluted joke.
I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap....
...but its quite difficult to grasp.
Someone asked me if I'm a gentleman.
Yes, yes I am. Holding doors open for people for example. Or when my wife gets home late, I light up some candles, letting some warm water run, add some soap, so she can start doing the dishes as soon as she gets home.
What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub??
Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
I almost dropped the soap bar in the shower
Good thing my uncle was there too to catch it
I used to be addicted to soap
I've been clean for 5 months now
What do you do with an epileptic child having a seizure in your bathtub?
Add your dirty clothes and soap.
I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today.
When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?
Takes longer to pick up
I went to the doctor for a rash...
Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.
Marriage is like a bar of soap...
It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it
If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap.
It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.
There is a reason why I store the soap away when I sing in the shower
Otherwise it would be a soap opera
Why aren't the people eating laundry soap injecting it instead?
Seems like it'd be a little Tidier
What's the difference between a nun praying in a church, and a nun in the bath?
The nun in the church has hope in her soul, the nun in the bath has soap in her hole
I made a rap song all about soap.
It's fine, the lyrics are clean.
A man eating in a restaurant calls the waiter over.
The man tells the waiter, this restaurant must have a very clean kitchen!
Thank you sir, how did you know?
Everything tastes like soap.
Did you hear about the bandit that stole a truck of soap?
Police say he made a clean getaway.
Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not
One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"
You know the difference between a woman attending Sunday morning mass and a woman taking a Friday night bath?
One has hope in her soul; the other has soap in her hole.
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.
One of the bears says:
"Can you pass the soap?"
The other bear says:
"No soap, radio."
They arrested the overweight soap maker
Apparently he was a big fat lyer.
Two elephants are sitting in a hot tub...
One turns to the other one and asks Do you have any soap?
The second elephant replies with, no soap, radio.
A group of thieves stole everything except for my soap.
Dirty bastards...
I love pampering my girl
I love to pamper my girl after she has had a stressful day all day at work..
So when she texts me saying shes on the way home, I get the hot water
running mix in a little soap and swirl around the bubbles and time everything
just perfectly so as soon as she walks through the door...
The dishes are all piled up and ready for her...
A soapbox orator addresses a crowd on the glories of communism
Come the revolution, everyone will eat strawberries and cream! A man at the front whimpers, But I don't like strawberries and cream. The speaker thunders, Come the revolution, you will like strawberries and cream!
My friend said he doesn't believe that soap works.
He said it was all a lye.
This is one of my dad's favorite jokes
There are three elephants in a bathtub.
Clyde says to Claude "Pass the soap."
Claude says "No soap radio."
\*I'm curious if anyone knows the joke
Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels.
Cop: Those dirty crooks.
I was talking to this bloke who was addicted to soap
Last I heard, he's now clean.
My house was robbed last night. The burglars took everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothpaste, and mouthwash.
Dirty bastards.
Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth
then it turns into a soap opera
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap
We'd lather not
There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom
The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!"
Dad Joke: What do you call clean music?
A soap opera!
Who stole the soap from the bathtub
The robber ducky
Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with one dollar
...and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, face powder etc..
Grandson: Nowadays it's difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.
What's the difference between a lady in a church and a lady in a bathtub?
One has a soul full of hope, the other has a hole full of soap.
Honey, the salad tastes funny... Are you sure you washed the veggies?
Of course I did! Can't you see the soap bubbles?
Singing in the shower is all a bunch of fun and games, until you get shampoo in your mouth...
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I once had to pretend that i was taking a shit, so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet
It was a shampoo.
What do you call clean music?
A soap opera
Singing in the showers Is great until you get soap in your mouth
Then it's a soap opera
heres another corny joke
Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
What kind of soap can also be used to keep away men?
Deter gents
As a recovering soap addict,
It's been pretty hard to stay clean.
Singing in the shower is fun till you get soap in your mouth
Then it's a soap opera
🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵
I just sang eight bars
Day two of posting soap puns for a week!
What soaps are used to keep men away?
Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
Singing in the shower is great until you get Shampoo in your mouth
Then it is more of a soap opera.
Missing my dad today. Here's the friends in low places parody he used to sing to us at bathtime.
I take baths in wet places
Where the waters warm
And the soap chases my dirty away
I'm clean today
Now I'm not big on washing faces
Think I'll slip on down and wash other places
I take baths
In wet places
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the soap shower jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working soap taki piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.