JokoJokes

Soap Jokes

178 soap jokes and hilarious soap puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soap that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article includes a collection of soap jokes. If you're looking for a laugh, these soap jokes are sure to clean up!

Funniest Soap Short Jokes

Short soap jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soap humour may include short soup jokes also.

  1. What soaps are used to keep men away? Deter-gents
    Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!
  2. What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub?? Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...
  3. My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!
  4. Let's hear some Confucius Jokes I'll start
    Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.
  5. What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word? She washed her hands with soap
  6. What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.
  7. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!
    Arrrrgh
  8. There was a deaf mute who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.
  9. 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 I just sang eight bars
    Day two of posting soap puns for a week!
  10. The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips... So I got kicked out of KFC.

Share These Soap Jokes With Friends




Soap One Liners

Which soap one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soap? I can suggest the ones about washing and wash.

  1. I was addicted to soap… But now I'm clean
  2. I used to be addicted to soap.... I'm clean now.
  3. What is the best thing about liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up.
  4. Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap? It takes longer to pick up.
  5. Dad Joke: What do you call clean music? A soap opera!
  6. Why dose the navy use liquid soap? Because it takes longer to pick up.
  7. I used used to be addicted to soap… I clean now though.
  8. I used to be addicted to soap I've been clean for 5 months now
  9. What do you call it when soap feels guilty? Shamepoo.
  10. Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.
  11. How do you make tear-free soap? Don't use child labor.
  12. I use to know someone who was addicted to soap. He's clean now
  13. Singing in the showers Is great until you get soap in your mouth Then it's a soap opera
  14. What does an actor sing in the shower? Soap opera
  15. They arrested the overweight soap maker Apparently he was a big fat lyer.

Bar Of Soap Jokes

Here is a list of funny bar of soap jokes and even better bar of soap puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • One hundred bacteria walk into a bar... of soap and get eradicated. There is only one survivor.
  • Marriage is like a bar of soap... It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it
  • I've been trying to learn to use bar soap in the shower but it's not going well I just can't seem to grasp it
  • I almost dropped the soap bar in the shower Good thing my uncle was there too to catch it
  • Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work? He was expecting showers.
  • 1st day in prison, was a bit scared, but the guys have said I can have a job already Apparently I pick up bars of soap in the shower, I start tomorrow, wish me luck.
  • Ronnie Barker "A man walks into a chemist's and says, 'Can I have a bar of soap, please?' The chemist says, 'Do you want it scented?' And the man says, 'No, I'll take it with me now.'"
  • What is the difference between a Nun and the women who dropped a bar of soap while she was in the bath? One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.
  • A soap bar was trying to console another soap bar Soap1- *crying uncontrollably*
    Soap2- Stop crying, I know you're acting
    Soap1- it's the glycerin
  • Whats the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? A bar of soap can last 40 minutes in the shower.

Soap Opera Jokes

Here is a list of funny soap opera jokes and even better soap opera puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth then it turns into a soap opera
  • heres another corny joke Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.
  • Singing in the shower is all a bunch of fun and games, until you get shampoo in your mouth... Then it becomes a soap opera.
  • Singing in the shower is great until you get Shampoo in your mouth Then it is more of a soap opera.
  • Singing in the shower is all fun and games Until you get soap in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera
  • Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
  • There is a reason why I store the soap away when I sing in the shower Otherwise it would be a soap opera
  • What do you call clean music? A soap opera
  • Did you hear about the new soap opera that only has specialists? It's called "Specific Hospital"
  • Singing in the shower is fun till you get soap in your mouth Then it's a soap opera
Soap joke, Singing in the shower is fun till you get soap in your mouth

Hand Soap Jokes

Here is a list of funny hand soap jokes and even better hand soap puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • You hear about the guy who was accused of jerking off with hand soap for his erectile disfunction? Well, he finally came clean.
  • What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed? "I think we're in sink."
  • Why didn't the store let the man return the hand soap he'd purchased? It was anti-back-to-retail soap.
  • If a deaf kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  • A islamic dial ripoff made a new type of hand soap. Aloe Akbar.
  • So if we get our mouth washed out with soap for saying naughty words, Should we get our hands washed for typing them? Should we get our hands washed for typing them?
  • What do you get when you put olives in your hand? Dish Soap.
    (I'll wait)
  • People who work at soap factories don't have to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Discuss.
  • How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Wash her hand out with soap.
    ... rearranged the furniture.
    ... put her in a round room and told her to go sit in the corner.
  • I went to an opera with my hands dirty Cause I thought there would be soap.

Drop The Soap Jokes

Here is a list of funny drop the soap jokes and even better drop the soap puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today. When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.
  • If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap. It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.
  • What are two places you never want to drop the soap? Penn State or the State Pen.
  • It's okay to drop the soap in prison.. .. your fellow inmates got your back.
  • Is it for real what they say about dropping the soap? Sounds too good to be true!
  • Best pickup line in jail: "Hey dude, did you just drop that soap behind you?"
  • When You Drop The Soap... ...is the floor clean or the soap dirty?
  • What did the gay guy with Alzheimer's ask his partner? Where did I drop the soap?
  • If you ever go to prison Never and I say NEVER drop the soap.
  • Bill Cosby now makes commercials for wall-mounted soap dispensers. They cannot be dropped so easily.
Soap joke, Bill Cosby now makes commercials for wall-mounted soap dispensers.

Happy Soap Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about soap you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brush jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soap pranks.

All US prison wardens got together and brainstormed to put a stop to prison rapes.

They finally decided on a high tech solution- an anti-slip soap bar with an internal combustion engine equipped with state of the art artificial engine that would fly the soap back to the prisoner's hand even if it somehow falls down.
The Russian wardens too found a solution- shower gel.

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars.
The clerk looks and her and says "I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"
"Yeah" she responds, "how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"
"Nah, you're ugly"

I used to be addicted to having s**... with bars of soap.

But then I came clean.

Where's the safest place to hide your money?

Under the soap of a Frenchman.

I went on a tour of a soap factory last week.

I forgot which one it was, but I'm sure it will Dawn on me.

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

Have you ever gotten shampoo in your mouth while singing in the shower?

Turns into a real Soap Opera.

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.

Saw a sign at a gas station earlier that said "car wash out of order."

So I waxed my car, sprayed it with water and then applied soap.

Did you hear about the guy that was accused of using his boss's hand soap as l**... for m**...?

He came clean.

Man sentenced to five years for m**... with soap in public.

Came clean in court.

If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)

What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!

Someone broke into my house last night...

They took all my soap, shampoo, deodorant and toothpaste. They made a clean getaway.

Why should you never trust soap?

It's an emulsive lyer.

What kind of soap do Middle Eastern citizens use?

Arab spring

My wife uses an entire bottle of dish soap when she washes the dishes every night.

Another day, another Dawn

what do apples, dish washer soap, the muppets, a black guy, beer, yankee candels, and the keyboard on a flip phone all have in common?

they all help make a really convoluted joke.

I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap....

...but its quite difficult to grasp.

I ran out of toothpaste recently

So I've resorted to brushing with soap. It's pretty g**..., but on the plus side I've really cut back on my swearing.

Someone asked me if I'm a gentleman.

Yes, yes I am. Holding doors open for people for example. Or when my wife gets home late, I light up some candles, letting some warm water run, add some soap, so she can start doing the dishes as soon as she gets home.

What's Sigmund Freud's favorite soap opera?

The Jung and the Restless

Are you a romantic man?

Yes. When my wife comes home late, I turn on the candles, let the place fill up with nice and warm water and throw in some soap.
So she can immediately start doing the dishes.

What do you get if you eat soap?

Shampoo!

I finally figured out where all my weight is coming from!

My shampoo, which runs down my body as I rinse my hair, advertises greater volume and body. Think I'll start washing my hair with dish washing soap; it says it dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove.

What do you do with an epileptic child having a seizure in your bathtub?

Add your dirty clothes and soap.

A woman walks into a supermarket.

She buys a bar of soap, a roll of toilet paper, a single size dinner, and a single size ice cream. The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single are you?" The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're ugly."

Why do prisoners prefer liquid soap?

Takes longer to pick up

Dad : son, go get me some laundry soap.

Son : do u really need it now?
Dad : yes, you can say it's det-urgent!

I went to the doctor for a rash...

Doctor: What toiletries are you using?
Me: Steven's soap, Steven's shampoo, Steven's toothpaste and Steven's toothbrush.
Doctor: Huh, so is Steven's a foreign brand?
Me: No, Steven is my roommate.

Which bath time toy steals your soap?

The Robber Ducky

I used to be addicted to soap

But I got clean

Why aren't the people eating laundry soap injecting it instead?

Seems like it'd be a little Tidier

What's the difference between a nun praying in a church, and a nun in the bath?

The nun in the church has hope in her soul, the nun in the bath has soap in her hole

I made a rap song all about soap.

It's fine, the lyrics are clean.

What do you call someone lathering in the shower and singing along to Classical Music?

A soap opera

A man eating in a restaurant calls the waiter over.

The man tells the waiter, this restaurant must have a very clean kitchen!
Thank you sir, how did you know?
Everything tastes like soap.

What do you call a British soap opera that's been re-named after a successful invasion by ISIS?

Middle East-Enders

What is a bull fighters favorite soap?

Olay!

So robbers broke into my house and stole all the soap,

Dirty b**..., but than the cops came and did a full report. The cops said they got away clean.

Did you hear about the bandit that stole a truck of soap?

Police say he made a clean getaway.

Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not

One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"

Now I know why I'm getting fat..

Its the shampoo that says " to give body & volume ".
Now I will use dish washing soap that says " Dissolves all fat even at hard to reach places ".

You know the difference between a woman attending Sunday morning mass and a woman taking a Friday night bath?

One has hope in her soul; the other has soap in her hole.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub.

One of the bears says:
"Can you pass the soap?"
The other bear says:
"No soap, radio."

On Blue's Clues, Steve didn't leave to go to college - he was sent to prison.

He realized far too late that he shouldn't have brought Slippery Soap with him.

Two elephants are sitting in a hot tub...

One turns to the other one and asks Do you have any soap?
The second elephant replies with, no soap, radio.

Did you hear about the guy on the news that's addicted to soap?

He's clean now.

If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

We would call soap 'Aftershit'.

Soap joke, If we used the same logic behind Aftershave...

jokes about soap