Soaked Jokes
30 soaked jokes and hilarious soaked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soaked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Soaked Short Jokes
Short soaked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soaked humour may include short soaking jokes also.
- I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit. I think it's time to make a stand.
- My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash. "Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."
- My Favorite Joke (Sorry Cat Lovers) How do you make a cat go Woof?
Soak it in gasoline and throw it in a fire place! - You know what we should do to all those people who soak up government money and don't work for it? Kick them outta office!
- I love the look on people's faces, standing soaked in the rain at the bus stop as I drive past. It's partly why I became a bus driver.
- So you're telling me you don't like foreplay... but you let your dishes soak for days before finally doing them?
- I'm starting the dishes, and my wife is getting ready to go watch 50 Shades of Grey I guess you could say we are BOTH pre soaking.
- A german guy rescues a dog from drowning then the owner of the dog says to him: "Thank you so much! Are you a vet?" to which the german guy responds with "I'm not just vet! I'm soaked!"
- What did the waiter say to the lobster who soaked up too much butter? That was very shellfish of you.
- Attention: The chemical CHCl3 has been proven to reduce the spread of COVID-19. So before you leave your home to engage in risky behavior, make sure you soak your mask in chloroform.
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Soaked One Liners
Which soaked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with soaked? I can suggest the ones about soggy and washed.
- How do dumplings relax? They take a “soy-ful” soak in the tub!
- Soaking a twig in coke is nice, but soaking a twig in fanta... Fanta stick.
- LPT: Easy way to soak up that extra alcohol in your stomach! Throw up on a sponge.
- How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in lighter fluid, throw a match on it.
Woof! - I always sleep like a baby. I wake up screaming every two hours, being soaked wet...
- Sorry your kid came home soaking wet... but this whole car pool thing was your idea.
- Why is spongebob great at high pressure situations? Because he can soak up the pressure.
- I soaked a marshmallow in soda. The soda was Mello Yello.
I call it a Marshmello. - LPT: Soak your iron in Doritos before use. It helps to make your clothes nice and crisp.
- My friend almost got soaked from the sprinklers in the produce aisle It barely mist her
- What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee? You're an eight.
- How much does the pornstar weigh? 100lbs, soaking wet.
- What do you call a mustache soaked in u**...? A pistachio.
- A man invented the t**.... Let that soak in.
- I apparently have a f**... for rain I'm soaking wet whenever I go out in it
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Soaked Jokes
What funny jokes about soaked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drowned jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make soaked pranks.
What's the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?
One is n**... in dye and the other died in new.
It was stormy weather outside, so I was really surprised to hear the doorbell ring.
The doorbell camera revealed it was my mother in law, completely soaked from the rain, and shivering in the icy wind. Concerned she might catch a cold, I hollered:
Please, don't just stand there!
Go home!
————————————
Disclaimer:
I really appreciate my mother in law. This is a joke (which I like to tell her once in a while). In-laws deserve to be treated with respect, just like real human beings.
A Jewish Grandmother and her Grandson are walking on the beach...
When a wave comes over the grandson and takes him under. The grandmother falls to her knees and begs, "Oh God! Please bring back my grandson!"
Another wave crashes, and the grandson is soaked, but otherwise unharmed. The grandmother looks to the skies and says, "Where's his hat?"
an elderly woman's dog jumps off a retaining wall
a German tourist passes by and see the elderly woman and decides to jump in after the the dog. He swims the dog back to shore and the woman comes up to him and asks him if hes a vet and the tourist replys "Vet? im vucking soaked".
Last night, my daughter shouted downstairs, "Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink!" "That's great, darling!" I said. "Put it under your pillow and see what happens."
A few minutes later she shouted, "Nothing's happened dad and now my bed is completely soaked!"
I received a wedding invite soaked in squash today.
Turns out I had been cordially invited.
A man comes home from his morning run to find his roommate holding a dripping newspaper over the sink...
"What happened?"
"I was going to make an omelette for breakfast, but I dropped the eggs on my newspaper! The front page is soaked, but I'm trying to clean the sports section, it got the worst of it.'
"No, it didn't," says the man ominously.
"What? How do you know?"
"The real yolk is always in the comics."
What is common between an animal doctor and a war surviving ex-soldier who are both soaked in the rain?
They both forgot their umbrella
Things you can say about your washing machine that you can't to say about your girlfriend
"She can fit four loads inside her."
"Sometimes she gets really noisy during the spin cycle."
"If I leave it inside her too long, it starts to smell funny. "
"Got her half off, she was a steal!"
"She always leaves my sheets soaked. "
"I've lost so many socks inside her over the years. "
"There was a lot of mold around the rim."
"I have to drain her every now and then. "
Thank you, I'll be here until I get distracted.
Jesus and Moses were hanging out having some drinks...
"Moses, nobody believes in us anymore. I'm going to perform a miracle," says Jesus.
He leads the way down to the beach.
"I'm going to walk on water. That will restore their faith!"
Jesus steps out onto the water, but he falls right in. He brushes himself off and, with much determination, steps out on to the water again. Once again, he falls in and is now soaked.
Wringing his his clothes out, he exclaims "Moses, I don't know what happened! The last time I did this trick it worked like a charm!"
Moses replies "The last time you did this you didn't have holes in your feet."
