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Soa Jokes

95 soa jokes and hilarious soa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about soa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Soa Short Jokes

Short soa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The soa humour may include short jokes also.

  1. It turns out that I am really good at drawing.. Well,at least the doctor said so,as he spoke in a British accent about how I am artistic..

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about soa can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of soa puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Soa Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about soa you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make soa prank.

My house was robbed last night. The burglars took everything except my soap, shower gel, towel, toothpaste, and mouthwash.

Dirty b**....

What's the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?

One is n**... in dye and the other died in new.

What soaps are used to keep men away?

Deter-gents
Day 4 of posting soapy dad jokes for a week!

I was addicted to soap…

But now I'm clean

A school teacher in Hyderabad was once asked, "Can you make a sentence without using 'E'?"

"I doubt I can. It's a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It's as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. And, anyway, what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It's not worth it."

I used to be addicted to soap....

I'm clean now.

I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit.

I think it's time to make a stand.

Missing my dad today. Here's the friends in low places parody he used to sing to us at bathtime.

I take baths in wet places
Where the waters warm
And the soap chases my dirty away
I'm clean today
Now I'm not big on washing faces
Think I'll slip on down and wash other places
I take baths
In wet places

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a bathtub??

Well, the woman in church has hope in her soul, but the woman in tub has soap in her hole...

My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.

"Son, you're going to have to stop money laundering."

My wife told me to kiss her like if we were in a soap opera

I hugged her tight, kissed her with passion and then slapped her because how dare she?!

Wife: "Why are the dishes still in the sink?"

Husband: "Because if I let them soak for long enough, getting them clean will be effortless.
 
\**Wife rolls eyes*\*
 
Wife: "Oh forget it. I'll do it myself."
 
\**Wife goes to wash the dishes*\*
 
Husband (under his breath): "See? Effortless."

Man sentenced to five years for m**... with soap in public.

Came clean in court.

I once had to pretend that i was taking a s**..., so I dropped a bottle of soap in the toilet

It was a shampoo.

A German tourist jumped into a freezing river to save my dog.

After he climbed out, he said. "Here is ze dog, dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine."
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"

"Vet?" He said. "I'm b**... soaking."

What is the best thing about liquid soap?

It takes longer to pick up.

My buddy and I have been working at this company for several years

We thought everything was going great. Numbers were up, sales were soaring! But one day our boss announced that the entire company was being bought out by some company in Spain.
What?! I exclaimed to my friend. This is so out of the blue! Never in a million years could I have seen this coming.
My friend shook his head and looked at me sideways. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition, he sighed.

Let's hear some Confucius Jokes

I'll start
Confucius says woman that keeps soap on top shelf will jump for joy.

What did Hellen Kellers mother do when Hellen said a bad word?

She washed her hands with soap

What do you call a mustache soaked in u**...?

A pistachio.

God was handing out talents one morning

To some, He gave the power to create life. The angels around Him were in awe as crops flourished and population soared. To others, he gave fine skills and artistry. His angelic entourage marveled at intricate needlework, tapestry, and sculpture.
God stooped down low and found a man waiting in the darkness, just before dawn. He gave him the power to sprinkle water on the grass as the sun rose. The angels were confused. "You gave amazing abilities to all others. Can this one really care for himself with such a small talent?"
God simply replied, "He will learn to make dew."

What's the difference between a Nun in Church and a Nun in the bath

One has Hope in her Soul the other has Soap in her Hole.

Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?

So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!
Arrrrgh

There was a deaf mute

who said so many dirty words that his mother had to wash his hands with soap.

🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵 🎵soap🎵

I just sang eight bars
Day two of posting soap puns for a week!

The other day a girl asked me if I like b**... or thighs. I told her I prefer bubble butts and a trimmed p**... with thin lips...

So I got kicked out of KFC.

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

If Dr. Seuss were a convict (poem)

What's this in my hand?
Behind your back?
It's soap on a a rope!
Whack whack whack!
What's this in my sock?
Tick tock, knock knock.
A large steel lock!
Chock chock chock!
What's this in my breeches?
I heard that you blab..
Snitches get stitches!
Stab stab stab!!

A young bride and groom to be

A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. As the young lady admired the plain platinum and diamond band she had chosen for herself, she suddenly looked concerned. "Tell me" she asked the rather elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?" With a fatherly smile, the salesman said "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to soak it in dishwater three times a day.

Why does the U.S. Navy use powdered soap?

It takes longer to pick up.

Some would say that putting decorative soaps that look like food in their bathrooms is cute.

But it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Two boys walk late into class

Their pants were wet up to their knees.
The teacher asks, "Where have you been."
One of the boys says to the teacher, "We were throwing pebbles in the lake."
The teacher, feeling generous told the boys to sit down at their desks and tells the class there will be a new student joining them today, and starts the lesson
Ten minutes later a girl walks into class, soaking wet from head to toe.
The teacher asks, "You must be the new student, what's your name dear?"
The girl responds, "I'm Pebbles."

I used to be addicted to having s**... with bars of soap.

But then I came clean.

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars.
The clerk looks and her and says "I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"
"Yeah" she responds, "how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"
"Nah, you're ugly"

Grandfather: When I was your age, I used to go to the market with one dollar

...and bring home soap, rice, milk, bread, face powder etc..
Grandson: Nowadays it's difficult. There are CCTV cameras everywhere.

Singing in the shower is fun until shampoo gets in your mouth

then it turns into a soap opera

My Favorite Joke (Sorry Cat Lovers)

How do you make a cat go Woof?
Soak it in gasoline and throw it in a fire place!

Dad Joke: What do you call clean music?

A soap opera!

Why dose the navy use liquid soap?

Because it takes longer to pick up.

For a survey I asked people what soap they use in the shower.

90% of them told me to get out.

A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...

He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"

How do dumplings relax? They take a “soy-ful” soak in the tub!

I hope I don't go to prison after what I did today.

When I was in the shower I dropped the soap like ten times.

If you ever find yourself in prison, don't drop the soap.

It's full of criminals and you may not get it back.

I used to be addicted to soap

I've been clean for 5 months now

What do you do with an epileptic child having a seizure in your bathtub?

Add your dirty clothes and soap.

I used used to be addicted to soap…

I clean now though.

What do you call it when soap feels guilty?

Shamepoo.

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.

Ladies. Seriously.

When a man is with you in the shower and soaping your back sensually, you say "Thanks".
Not "who are you and what are you doing in my shower?"

Two kangaroos are in the bathtub. cuz why not

One kangaroo says, "Pass the soap."
The other kangaroo says, "No soap...radio!"

Why do sailors use liquid soap?

It takes longer to pick up when they drop it.

How do you make tear-free soap?

Don't use child labor.

It was stormy weather outside, so I was really surprised to hear the doorbell ring.

The doorbell camera revealed it was my mother in law, completely soaked from the rain, and shivering in the icy wind. Concerned she might catch a cold, I hollered:
Please, don't just stand there!
Go home!
————————————
Disclaimer:
I really appreciate my mother in law. This is a joke (which I like to tell her once in a while). In-laws deserve to be treated with respect, just like real human beings.

Three kids are in a park with their father

The first child approaches the father and asks,
"Dad, why am I named Dandy?"
Father responds,
"Because a dandelion fell on your head when you were born."
Second kid comes up and asks
"Dad, why am I named Rose?"
Dad responds,
"Because a rose fell on your head when you were born."
Third kid runs up screaming,
"HRJSOAOSBRBRJFIDISOSBBPPPBFFFSSSS"

Dad gets up and shouts at the third one, causing a scene,
"SHUT UP BRICK!"

A group of thieves stole everything except for my soap.

Dirty b**......

A man decides to visit Germany with his dog for 2 weeks.

He wishes to experience German culture during the winter. So, he visits an ice rink. As soon as the man steps foot on the ice, the dog darts forward, excited about his new surroundings. The dog proceeds to fall through a thinner patch of ice. The man leaps forward to save his dog, but another man dives in and pulls the dog to safety. The German man explains he is a nearby resident who saw what was about to happen. The other man, realizing his dog will need help as soon as he can get asks,
"Are you a vet?"
The German man replies, "Vet? I am soaking!"

heres another corny joke

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

Son of chief: "Father, how are we named?"

Chief: "After you are born, your mother looks out of the teepee and names you the first thing she sees."
Son: "Oh wow, is that how you were named Soaring Eagle?"
Chief: "Yes, Horse Taking Dump"

Before the ball could touch the floor, I kicked it back, sending it soaring past the other players and into the top corner of the net. Overcome with emotion, I ripped off my shirt and punched the air. My eyes locked with my stunned coach, who came running towards me shaking his head in amazement.

As he embraced me, he sighed, "OK, let's go over the rules of volleyball one last time."

You hear about the guy who was accused of jerking off with hand soap for his erectile disfunction?

Well, he finally came clean.

Someone asked me if I'm a gentleman.

Yes, yes I am. Holding doors open for people for example. Or when my wife gets home late, I light up some candles, letting some warm water run, add some soap, so she can start doing the dishes as soon as she gets home.

I use to know someone who was addicted to soap.

He's clean now

Locked keys in car…

On finishing up their round of golf O'Reily and O'Connor returned back to their car only to discover the doors were locked and the keys were in the ignition.
After quite a few minutes of messing with the door handles and thinking up the best way to gain entry to the vehicle, it all of a sudden began to cloud over.
p**... says O'Connor' look at those black clouds coming in over there. You'd better put the roof up or the seats are going to get soaked .

I got in trouble with the Super Soaker Mafia the other day

I had to be put in the Wetness Protection Program

It doesn't matter how nice the soap smells..

Never let anyone see you walk out of the bathroom sniffing your fingers.

I went on a tour of a soap factory last week.

I forgot which one it was, but I'm sure it will Dawn on me.

With the cost of living crisis, it has finally happened. The poor are revolting.

No surprise really, given the cost of soap now.

Singing in the showers Is great until you get soap in your mouth

Then it's a soap opera

With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap

We'd lather not

Singing in the shower is all a bunch of fun and games, until you get shampoo in your mouth...

Then it becomes a soap opera.

What does an actor sing in the shower?

Soap opera

My daughter asked me why there are a lot of soaps that smell like lavender.

I said "It's just a popular smell that a lot of people like, like sweet orange, lemongrass and rosemary." She paused and then nodded and replied:
"Yes, that seems like common scents."

Singing in the shower is great until you get Shampoo in your mouth

Then it is more of a soap opera.

There is an elephant and a giraffe in the bathroom

The giraffe says "pass the soap, please"
And the elephant says "no soap, radio!"

A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.

Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"

What's the product name if Apple started making drones?

iSoar
(inspired by ImpulseSV)

I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap....

...but its quite difficult to grasp.

They arrested the overweight soap maker

Apparently he was a big fat lyer.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games

Until you get soap in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera

I made a rap song all about soap.

It's fine, the lyrics are clean.

As a recovering soap addict,

It's been pretty hard to stay clean.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these soa jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.