So Pale Jokes

105 so pale jokes and hilarious so pale puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about so pale that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest So Pale Short Jokes

Short so pale jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The so pale humour may include short pale jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend is absolutely beautiful. Body like a greek statue... Completely pale, no arms.
  2. What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.
  3. Say what you like about Boko Haram, but you've got to admit, 'Whiter Shade of Pale' was a stone cold classic.
  4. What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer? One is hoplite, and the other a light hops.
  5. Why are homosexuals usually so pale? Because there's no light in the closet.
    P.S: No, I'm not homophobic.
  6. How many Biebers does it take to change a light bulb? None. There are no light bulbs in the closet.
    Another one: Why is Justin Bieber so pale? Because there's no light inside the closet
  7. What is it called when your son tells you that your skin is so pale that you look like a vampire? A Son-burn
  8. A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All... ...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support 69 for All
  9. People always tell me that my face is to pale so I stuck a plunger to my face... I've heard they help make things flush
  10. Drinking brandy always reminds my of my Grandmother She never touched the stuff, but she's Very Special, Old and Pale.

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So Pale One Liners

Which so pale one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with so pale? I can suggest the ones about so weak and so poor.

  1. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale La La Land?
  2. My girlfriend looks like a Roman Goddess.. Pale, No arms.
  3. Why is Robert Pattison so pale? There's no sunlight in the closet.
  4. I like my women like I like my beer... ...pale and bitter.
  5. What do a midget albino and a tiny bucket have in common? They are both a little pale.
  6. I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head.
  7. what do you call a pale, introvert nerd? Fair and square
  8. What happened when the bucket saw a ghost? It went pale
  9. I saw Casper the ghost. I said, You look pale and drawn.
  10. I like my women like i like my tea. Pale and weak.
    Hilarious I know.
  11. Why did some White people back then hate Black people? Because they're pale in comparison
  12. What's black and devours blonde, red and pale? A singularity!
  13. Mom, why is dad so pale? Shut up Joseph, just keep digging
  14. Brett Kavanaugh and Bill Cosby. One rather pales in comparison.
  15. Hey girl, are you from the land of make believe? Cuz' you are Pales-fine

So Pale Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about so pale you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean im so white jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make so pale pranks.

An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation.
They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver’s seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down!
She loaded her bags into the car and then drove to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter.
He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, about 75, and carrying a large handgun.

So, Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office.

"Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."
Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief.
He buries his face in his hands, muttering "My God...My God".
"Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"
Bush looks up and says..."How many is a Brazilian?"

A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out “green side up!”
In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.
He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled “green side up!”
The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.
In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.
The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled “green side up!”
The lady then asked him, “Why do you keep yelling ‘green side up’?”
“I’m sorry,” came the reply. “But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.

Pleasing Women

Three women go on vacation to an extravagant resort.
Upon arrival, the manager tells them, "we actually just opened a new building for single women, such as yourself! It has four stories, and you get to choose one of which you will stay in. Each floor has different types of men, and there will be signs at the entrance to each story, telling you what types you will find."
Figuring that it would be a fun adventure, they agree to these terms.
The women get to the first floor of the building. The sign reads "The Men on This Floor are Short, Pale, and Ugly".
Not seeing a reason why they would want to stay there, they proceed to the next floor, where they see a sign that reads "All Men on This Floor Are Average In Every Sense".
They begin to see a trend, and proceed to the next floor, wondering if their luck will improve.
The sign on the third floor reads "All Men on This Floor Are Tall, Dark, and Stunningly Handsome".
The women begin to get excited. They realize that this would be a wonderful floor to stay on, but curiosity gets the best of them, so they press on to the fourth and final floor.
Upon arrival to the last floor, they find a sign that reads
"There are no men on this floor. This floor was built with the sole purpose of proving that there is no way to please a woman."

A salesman gets lost (a little long)

A Salesman gets lost in the woods. Nearing dark he sees a farmers house, and decides to ask for a place to sleep. The farmer says, "Sure, but you're going to have to stay in the barn with some of the animals."
The salesman agrees, but before he could walk to the barn, the farmer tells him not to mess with the hole in one of the stables. The farmer goes off to the house, and the Salesman gets ready for bed.
A few hours into the night, the salesman starts to wonder about this "hole"... he looks over it, and sees that its got some heat coming from it, and its kinda moist. A few minutes pass and one thing leads to another...
The next day the farmer is woken up by the police at the door. An officer tells him they got a 911 call and tracked it to this location. The farmer says he didn't call, but maybe the Salesman did. He rushes over to the barn to see the Salesman pants down and pale white inside the "hole".
The farmer looks to the officers and says "Dang it,that's my milkin machine... it won't stop till its got 1 gallon."

Why is Justin Bieber so pale?

Because there is no sun in the closet.

You know the story of the guy who looked pale, right?

This o**... is looking really pale, so his friend tells him ¨dude, you're anemic¨. Of course, our guy doesn't believe this, so his friend says ¨I know about these symptoms, you're definitely anemic¨ and bets him 25 bucks on this. "OK", our guy says, "challenge accepted." Together they go to the doctor. While his friend waits outside, the doctor runs some tests, takes some blood, the whole shebang, and after the doctor finishes and gives his diagnosis, the pale guy triumphantically walks out of the hospital and happily greets his friend.
¨So, did you have anemia as I told you?¨, his friend asks. To which he happily blurts out:
¨No dude, you owe me 25 bucks! Doc says I have stomach cancer :)¨

A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.

He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.
He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out and firing in front of me and my buddies. We had to go in defense position and try to outflank them, but they got flight leader. On second approach we shot a few down and dispersed the rest. On third approach I shot two Fokkers down, but another one got me in the rudder. I went into tail spin and had to bail out. Luckily the f**...-"
The principal of the school suddenly interjected, as at this point nearly everyone was laughing. "Now, students, please be respectful of our guest and where he is from. As some of you may know, a Fokker," the principal said slowly, carefully pronouncing the word, "is a type of German fighter plane used in World War II. There is no need to-"
The Finn had to interrupt, "Excuse me Mr. Principal, actually Fokker is Dutch. We were shooting down Messerschmitts."

m**... in Paris

A Frenchman is walking in the Bois de Boulogne forest in Paris when he sees a n**... man having s**... with a woman in the bushes. He approaches, curious, but notices that she is deathly pale and not moving. Alarmed he rushes off to find a policeman.
"Monsieur! Monsieur!" he shouts, when he finds a gendarme. "I found a man r**... a dead woman in the bushes over there."
"Sacre bleu!" shouts the policeman, and rushes off to investigate.
But a few minutes later he returns, smiling wryly, and says, "Non, Monsieur, she is not dead. She is English."

Why are soccer players always so pale?

There's no light in the closet.

What do anemic people drink?

Pale ale

Sam was dying.

His wife, Carol, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held
his fragile hand, with tears running down her face. Her praying roused him
from his slumber.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Carol," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Shhh, don't talk."
In his tired voice, "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Carol.
"Everything's all right, just go to sleep."
No, no. I must die in peace, Carol I...I cheated on you!"
"I know," Carol whispered as she softly stroked his forehead.
"Just let the poison work".

A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...

He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.

A man walks into a bar...

Shadily dressed in a trench coat with the collar pulled up and a fedora pulled down over his face. A livid scar runs down his cheek, and his two tone shoes are dangerously polished. In his hands he's carrying an accordion case. The bar falls completely silent. All of the patrons turn pale and freeze as the man strolls up to the bar and sets the case down on the counter. Everyone holds their breath. Suddenly, the man flips open the case and pulls out a machine gun! And everyone in the bar breathes a sigh of relief.

I like my (wo)men like I like my coffee..., black, and strong
^(possibly the original)
...thin, pale, and extra-sweet.
...50% alcohol.
...all over my g**... while I'm trying to drive.
...I don't like coffee.
...imported from micronesia., fresh and in the breakroom.
...huge and cheap with room for cream.
...cold, bitter, expensive and Italian. a plastic cup.
^(eddie izzard)
...ground up, roasted, and quickly disposed of.

A man walks into a bar...

and sits down.
There is nobody else in the place except him and the bartender. He orders a drink and the bartender goes off to make it.
While he is sitting there he hears a voice say " Nice shoes". The man looks around and finds nobody around. He shakes his head and continues to wait for his drink.
Right away another voice says " Great shirt". Now the man gets up and gives a quick look around the bar. Still nobody around.
As soon as he sits back down he hears another voice say "Love your hair"
Now the guy is freaked out. The bartender comes back and places his drink down. The guy says " I have been hearing these voices. They were saying things like " Nice shoes, Great shirt and love your hair". I think I am losing my mind!
The bartender gives a quick chuckle as he points to a full pale on the bar. He says " Its the peanuts! They are complimentary"

George Bush was receiving his daily report from his Defense Secretary.

During the report, the secretary said; And yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. George suddenly went pale, put his head in his hands and began to sweat profusely.
His staff was astounded. They had never seen the president react like this to such a small loss. Then, after he had recovered slightly, the president brought his head up and quietly asked the aide next to him, "Just how many in a brazilian?"

Yo momma's so pale...

I felt like a snow plow last night.

A grocery store visit I will never forget

So, I was at my local grocery store pushing my cart along the meat aisle when I directed my attention to the shelves as I pushed farther down. Suddenly I felt my cart hit something and I fixed my gaze forward. At first I couldn't see anything but when I looked down, I realized I had struck a midget.
"Are you okay?" I asked, he responded with an indifferent nod , his face looked pale.
"Are you feeling okay sir?" I further inquired
"Well I'm certainly not happy." He replied
"Then which one are you?"

Watching Avatar again

Didn't notice the first time how odd it was that all the Na'vi were portrayed as so pale-skinned and blonde...

My pale friend complained about being compared to a ghost

I said, "Fair enough."

Boko Haram have really had a radical change in direction since their Whiter Shade of Pale days

What's pale, lives in darkness and s**... blood?

A t**...

A chicken walks in to a bar...

A chicken walks in to a bar. The bartender says, "What'll be, chicken?"
The chicken says, "I'd like a nice pale ale with some type of a fruit flavor."
The bartender says, "You want the bar across the road."

A cop pulls over three elderly woman..

The cop says "M'am, do you realize you were going 15 mph in a 55?"
Old lady driver: " Ooo I must have been mistaken then, that sign over there says 15"
The cop laughs and says "M'am thats route 15; you're on route 15 right now"
Old lady driver: "I am so embarassed! Please forgive me"
The cop: "Well everything seems okay here, just make sure to keep it at the speed limit. I do have one question for you though. Your friend in the back seat seems to be a bit pale and anxious, is everything okay?"
Old lady driver: "Oh yeah she'll be fine....we just got off of route 115"

The dirtiest one of them all

A pale white horse galloped and jumped into muddy water

What do Mexicans say about pale redheads?

They have no sol

What pales in comparison to a lie?

A white lie.

Jake was on his deathbed

His wife, Susan, was maintaining a vigil by his side.
He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"My darling Susan," he whispered.
"Hush, my love," she said. "Rest. Don't talk."
He was insistent. "Susan," he said in his tired voice. "I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Susan. "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Susan. I slept with your sister, your best friend, and your mother."
"I know," she replied. "That's why I poisoned you."

Why is Edward Cullen so pale?

There's no sunshine in closets.

I like my women like I like my ice cream...

Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite kind of beer?

Pale alien, obvs

What's pale, s**... blood and comes out at night?

A t**....

How do you recognise a taxi driver?

On his pale body, one of his hand will be sunburned

Doctor Doctor, I'm really pale and don't understand sarcasm.

You have low humorglobin caused by an irony deficiency.
Boom, and indeed boom.

What do police officers and pale teenagers have in common?

They both try to pop black heads.

Vampires and red heads are kind of the same thing?

(I'm a ranga) we're pale, we fear the sun, we eat human souls and I'm sure I'd die if someone steaked me haha

What do you call a really pale Asian?

Rice c**....

What's the difference between a length of pipe and a pale Dutchman?

One's a hollow cylinder, and the other's a sallow Hollander.

Mommy! Why's daddy so pale?

Quiet son, just keep digging!

The Chinese are fair people

Although slightly pale

How do you roast a Marshmallow?

You call it fat and pale

The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

A boy went up to his father and said, "Your secret is out now dad. It's no use hiding it."

His father's face went pale. He gave the boy $100 and told him to keep quiet about it.
Happy that the trick worked, he then went to his mother and said, "Your secret is out now mom. It's no use hiding it." Just like his dad, his mom was shocked too. She gave the boy $200 and told him to keep quiet about it.
Excited, the boy thought who should he try the trick on next when he saw the postman outside his house. He approached the postman and said, "Your secret is out now mister. It's no use hiding it." The postman, completely shocked, hugged the boy and said, "I am glad you finally know it son."

Trump and Clinton had a race around The White House...

Trump edged out Clinton by 10 seconds, but both paled to Bush. He completed it in 9:11.

There's an old Yugoslav Joke mocking police corruption

where a policeman returns home unexpectedly and finds his wife n**... in their marital bed, obviously hot and excited. Suspecting that he surprised her with a lover, he starts to look around the room for a hidden man. The wife goes pale when he leans down to look under the bed; but after some brief whispering, the husband rises with a satisfied, smug smile and says Sorry my love, false alarm. There is no one under the bed!, while his hand tightly clutches several high denomination banknotes.

A pirate captain is about to pillage a Royal Navy ship.

He calls to his aide, "Bring me my red coat!" When the aide asks why, he says, "If I get shot, the men won't see it and will keep on fighting." The aide praises the captain's intelligence and fetches the jacket. Then, as soon as they are about to attack, a lookout yells, "Captain, we just realized that there are in fact 20 ships!" The captain suddenly goes very pale and calls, "Bring me my brown pants."

Becky was on her deathbed...

Becky was on her deathbed.
Her husband, Jake, was maintaining a vigil by her side. He held her fragile hand, tears ran down his face. His praying roused her from her slumber.
She looked up and her pale lips began to move slightly.
My darling Jake," she whispered.
"Hush, my love," he said. "Rest. Shhh.Don't talk."
She was insistent. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. " I have something I must confess to you."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Jake. Everything's all right, go to sleep ."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Jake. I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "I know," he replied. "That's why I poisoned you"

My brother got possessed by a d**..., and since then he's become extremely pale and sickly.

The doctor said he just needed to go outside and get some exorcise.

I was just reading about a guy who was arrested for a hate crime in the U.K. for suggesting that people with fare skin complexions are responsible for the degeneration of society.

That's a little beyond the pale.

Pale Tomatoes...

Two women are talking while gardening. "Oh, I am SO jealous of your tomatoes. Mine are so pale and yours are bright red.".
"It's easy, just walk out in your nightgown early in the morning and flash them. They'll be bright red after a couple of days."
They meet again a few weeks later.
"Hey, did my hint about your tomatoes help?"
"Huh. The tomatoes are still pale, but my cucumbers are like five feet...".

An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.

The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.
When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.
The American asks, What's wrong?
The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.

My friend got a tan because he was so pale...

I don't know what being a bucket had to do with it.

An officer pulls over a car with 5 elder women on the freeway.

Approaching the car he notices the women in the back of the car are pale white and wide eyed.
The women was visibly confused about being pulled over and asked, Why was I pulled over I was going exactly 22 mph?
The officer tells her she wasn't speeding but she was going a lot slower than the speed limit.
She responds I was going the exact speed limit 22 MPH.
He laughs and says the that was the route number and not the speed limit.
The women smiled out of embarrassment and thanked the officer.
Just before the officer walked off he asked if everyone is ok in the car.
The women responds, They will be in a minute. We just got off route 119.

Two good friends go golfing

Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. o**... says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

Last night I sawa host of pale, emaciated figures, with haunted eyes that showed the agony of living death.

It was my first time in a vegan restaurant.

Did you hear about the Albino impressionist?

Of course, her impressions always pale in comparison to the real thing

I'm so pale...

I'm so pale that when I went outside last winter, the neighborhood kids said, "Hey, look! Frosty's on a diet!"
I'm so pale that when I worked in the ice cream parlor and was giving a kid his vanilla cone, he started l**... my hand.
I'm so pale that my house is listed as haunted. It was built last year!
I'm so pale that when I went to confession, the priest told me to eat a clove of garlic.

Sunday School

Sister Mary Francis asked each of her young charges to tell the class what they want to do when they grow up.
Johnny says "I'm going to be a policeman." "Very good," say Sister Mary Francis.
Peter says "I'm going to be a fireman." "Very nice," says the nun.
Then Mary stands up, and says "I'm going to be a p**...!" Sister Mary Francis turned pale. The room fell silent. The Sister said sternly "What did you say, Mary??" Beligerantly, Mary stuck out her chin and again, in a clear voice, said "I'm going to be a p**...!!"
"Oh thank heavens," said the nun. I thought you said you were going to be a protestant!!"

An American spy comes into a Soviet bar

And orders a drink.
"No drink for US spies" said the barkeep.
The spy goes pale. He pulls out a bottle of v**... and drains it in one big gulp.
"You drink like Russian, but you are American spy"
The spy pulls out his accordeon and plays a wonderful Russian folk song, everyone in the bar tearing up, including the barkeep.
"You sing like Russian", he said under tears, "but you are American spy"
He starts dancing the Kozachok, worthy of the Bolshoy dancers.
"You dance like Russian, but you are American spy"
"Ok, you got me. But how do you know?"
"There are no black Russians"