The Best 35 So Cold Outside Jokes

Following is our collection of funny So Cold Outside jokes. There are some so cold outside warmer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these so cold outside cold weather puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest So Cold Outside Jokes and Puns

Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

It's so cold outside

I saw a politican with his hands in his own pockets.

I like my women like I like my microwaves...

Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and willing and able to kill any baby I put inside them.

I saw a hipster walking outside in the cold.

He didn't have a jacket on, so I asked him why.

He said he was outside before it was cool.

I didn't realize how cold it was outside today...

... until I saw socialists with their hands in their own pockets

she can't open windows.

On a cold winter morning, while her husband is away on business, a wife has a problem at home and sends a text message to her husband:

Windows frozen, it won't open

Husband texts back:
Pour boiling water over it inside and outside

Five minutes later, wife texts back.

Computer's really screwed up now...

Grandpa, these dishes on the dinner table are a little dirty

Grandfather replied: there as clean as cold water can get 'em

Next day:

Grandpa these dishes are still dirty, do we not have much cold water?

Grandpa: cold water runs all day, so those dishes are as clean as cold water can get

Alright, whatever you say

Day after:

Grandpa and grandkid are finishing dinner

Kid: grandpa I think I see a dog outside! Can we bring him in?

Grandpa: sure!

Grandpa opens the door


(This joke was from my grandmother years ago)

It's so cold outside...

...the local flasher just described himself to me

I hate when women say they're lonely when I'm here...

It's like saying you're hungry when there's a pile of cold spaghetti on the floor outside.

It's so cold outside...

I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple.

It's cold outside.

Give a man a jacket and he will stay warm for a day.
Teach a man to jacket and he will never leave his house.

You can explore so cold outside colder reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean so cold outside warmed dad jokes. There are also so cold outside puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Its so cold outside today

I was mugged by a guy using a water pistol.

A guy and a girl get a flat tire one cold winter's night.

The guy goes out to change the tire, but he has no gloves, and after a while, his hands start to get blue, so he comes back into the car.

Put your hands between my thighs and that'll warm them up, invites the girl. He does, and pretty soon his hands recover, and he goes back outside. After a while longer, his hands get cold again, and once again, she suggests that he warm them between her thighs. He does so and returns to finish putting on the spare. When he comes back into the car triumphant, she looks at him and asks, Aren't your ears cold?

My wife says she is going to kick me out if I keep singing anymore Christmas songs..

..I said, 'but baby, it's cold outside'

Russian man is watching weather forecast on TV and they say that it's -50°C in Siberia today...

In disbelief he calls his Siberian friend:

\- Hey, I've heard is super cold in Siberia these days?

\- Nah, it's nothing special, about -25°.

\- Yeah? On TV they've said it's -50° C!

\- Ah, this must be outside.

It's so cold outside....

You could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!

Its so cold outside

I saw chickens lined up outside of KFC waiting for their turn in the deep fryer

Twenty years from now, kids listening to "Baby it's cold outside" are gonna find it really, really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood in the context of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside.

I like my women like I like my microwave.

Cold on the outside, warm on the inside, and she'll kill any baby I put inside her.

You know it's cold outside...

When you see a politician with their hands in their own pockets.

My girlfriend left me after I said she reminded me of our dessert, a baked Alaska.

Fire hot on the outside, but ice cold on the inside. I should have just said sweet.

-40° outside sounds brutally cold, Fahrenheit or Celsius.

My friend Kelvin just rolled his eyes.

It's so cold outside...

even the ATM shows minus.

I told my wife I need to sign up for concealed carry classes...

She asked me, "Why do you need to sign up for concealed carry classes?"

I told her, "It's getting cold outside, every time I put on a long sleeve shirt I am carrying two concealed guns."

She look at me and said, "Honey, marshmallow canons aren't real guns, you'll be fine."


Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It's cold outside.

It's been so cold outside...

It's been so cold outside I finally saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

My Dad and I walk outside in sub-zero temperatures, and he's wearing a t-shirt.

Me: "Dad, it's really cold, don't you want to wear a coat?"
Dad: "I'm just exercising my second-ammendment rights."
Me: "........."
Dad: "My right to bare arms."

Why do men prefer dogs to women?

If you get angry with a dog, and lock it outside in the cold for half an hour while you calm down, the dog will be pleased to see you when you let it back in.

It was so cold outside...

I saw a gangster pulling up their trousers

It's cold outside

It's cold outside...
Come inside, sit in the corner
It's 90°

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in. It's cold outside.

Two necrophiliacs talk during a hot summer day.

*Sweating*, it's way too hot outside!

Let's go in and crack open a cold one.

Two Ninjas

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?


How do you know when it's cold outside?

When you go outside and see a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets

"Baby Its Cold Outside" is a great example of today's sexual harassment problems.

A guy can't even talk about the weather without women assuming it's something sexual.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the so cold outside warms jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working so cold outside freeze faster piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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