Snow Jokes
157 snow jokes and hilarious snow puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snow that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover a wide variety of snow jokes for everyone! Whether you're looking for snow jokes for kindergarten, snowomen puns, or blizzard-related humor, we have plenty of laughs to go around. Get warmed up with some snowman jokes and enjoy!
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Funniest Snow Short Jokes
Short snow jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snow humour may include short winter jokes also.
- Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window. If it gets any worse ill need to let her back in.
- carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow. It's called a Ted Cruise
- 1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow. 1's hands got so cold that they went numb.
2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number. - So far we have four inches of snow on the ground. Or as my husband would say...seven inches.
- Why couldn't the American fly home from Russia after the Olympics? Because he was Snow'den.
- Needed a Password eight characters long:: So, I went with 'Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs'.
- Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White? 'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.
*Joke's from my Dad and his friend* - Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week They exchanged numbers
- What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil? Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.
- In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow... Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
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Snow One Liners
Which snow one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snow? I can suggest the ones about rain and weather.
- Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store? For the watch
- I like my women like I like my snow Heavy & wet
- How do you follow Will Smith in a snow storm? You follow the fresh prints.
- Why is Jon Snow so ticklish? Aunts in his pants...
- Why do native Americans hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land.
- Why did the snowman take his pants off? He heard the snow blower was coming.
- Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.
- Why does the NSA hate the winter? They got snowed in.
- Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.
- Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear.
- What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.
- Why do Aboriginals hate snow? Because it's white and on their land.
- Why was the snow yellow? Elsa let it go.
- What did the snowflake say to the falling snow? "Catch ya later!"
- Where does a polar bear keep his money? In a snow bank.
Snow White Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow white jokes and even better snow white puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
- An Act of Malicious Conpliance Teacher: Write a short story. You have a strict 140-character limit.
Student: Once upon a time, Snow White lived with 139 Dwarves. The end. - The last time we had a white Christmas, I made snow angels. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
- I watched a play with Snow White but only six dwarves No one was happy.
- Which Disney princess would be the best judge? Snow White, because she's the Fairest One of All.
- Snow White started a tutoring center for the Dwarves to teach them math. She called it "Making the Little Things Count"
- There were actually Nine Dwarves before Snow White met them, They exiled Hungry after Tasty went missing.
- Snow White once spilled Sprite on herself So she started changing in front of the dwarves, then they had 7 up
- Why does Snow White own an Android? Because she hates Apples.
- Who would make the best referee ? Snow White, because she's the fairest of them all.
Snow Man Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow man jokes and even better snow man puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I built a snow man this morning. Then the sun came out and it became genderfluid.
- Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object.
- Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ? Because he's a man of the nice watch
- Has the abominable snow man called? Not yeti.
- What do you call a man who eats snow? Frostbite.
- A woman told me she can do anything a man can do... ...so I told her to pee her name in the snow.
- Why did the man take an esky to the snow? To put ice in it
- An Indian was teaching his grandson how to hunt. He looks down at the ground and says, "White man was here."
His grandson says, "Really?! How can you tell?"
"Yellow snow. He wrote his name" - What did the little boy say upon putting the finishing piece on his Snow man "For the watch"
- A man is talking to his mate about his dog... Man: My dog loves Snow Patrol songs!
His mate: Really?
Man: Yeah, he loves Chasing Cars.
Snow Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow day jokes and even better snow day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was out shoveling snow with my kid the other day... He kept whining about why I wasn't using the shovel.
- Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days? For the watch
- I was disappointed when it didn't snow on my wedding day... But I did get 8 inches on my honeymoon.
- For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in
- Ana from Frozen was upset it didn't snow on her Wedding day, but everything has a silver lining because she got 8 inches that night
- If a class going to cosmetology school can't make it because of a snow storm… Do they have a make up day?
- I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
- I met Jon Snow the squirrel the other day He knows nutting.
- Why did Snow White stop using the mail-in photo lab? She was tired of singing "Some day, my prints will come..."
- I saw this really handsome guy running through a blizzard the other day... He was dashing through the snow.
Snow Blower Jokes
Here is a list of funny snow blower jokes and even better snow blower puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why couldn't he whistle blower leave Russia? Because he was Snowden!
Get it? Snowed in? Snowden?
Ahh...you'll get it tomorrow. - With all the blizzard news here's a winter joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower? You give her a shovel!
- What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia? Edward Snowed-in
- While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device. ...
I bought my wife a snow shovel. - What is red and hangs around trees? A baby hit by a snow blower
- If it weren't for snow blowers... The UPS man wouldn't come.
Hilarious Fun Snow Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about snow you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean icing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snow pranks.
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
Two Snowmen are in a field...
...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.
Outside is snowing hard.
My wife is looking thru the window with a nostalgic look.
If it is getting colder i might let her in.
PS: Sorry my native language is not english and i'm too old to learn it good.
One snowman says to the other snowman,
"do you smell carrots?"
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked:
'So Bobby, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Snow in the forecast...
...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"
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What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?
The snow, d**....
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
Driving through a blizzard with my dad
At the peak of the snow and ice he got out of the car and put two frozen snakes on the windshield. I asked him what he supposed that would do to help and he said "what's wrong son, Never heard of wind chilled vipers?"
Snowy White and the 7 dwarves...
Snowy White and the 7 dwarves were lying in bed feeling happy...but happy didn't like it and got out...
John Snow.
John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.
-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?
John laughs and continues with his drink.
-Why is this funny?
John responds,
-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...
What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
2050's kids won't get this...
Snow
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I hate it when..
I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,
My white friend in snow,
My Chinese friend in sand,
And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strikes.
Why did ygritte break up with Jon Snow?
She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the seven dwarves say when Snow White finally woke up?
Well, it looks like its back to jerking off.
Father looks out the window on a snowy evening.
He gets furious and turns red.
"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.
"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."
"Oh. That's not so bad."
"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."
What do your sister and snow have in common?
I plow both.
Why was the snowman smiling?
He saw the snowblower coming.
What is the common trait between men and snow?
You don't know how many centimeters you'll get, neither how long will it last.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is s**... like snow?
Because you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last..
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?
Because his watch has ended.
Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area
What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"
What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"
Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"
What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"
How can you tell a snowman is angry at you?
"You get the cold shoulder... or an icy stare"
There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.
Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
"Got no clue", he said.
I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"
He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."
So these two snowmen are standing in a field.
Then one turns to the other and says "hey is it just me, or does it smell like carrots?"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"
Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"
Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"
Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"
*a baby cries in the corner*
Dad: Shut up Brick!
What do Daenerys Targaryen and the North have in common?
Right now, they're both getting a few inches of Snow.
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Where's the worst place to get s**... by 8 inches?
Probably one of the southern states, they really aren't prepared for that much snow.
There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick
Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA
What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?
In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.
Two guys are looking for a christmas tree in the woods...
They've been walking through the thick snow for about an hour and one of the guys says:
"Ah screw it! Lets just take that big one over there. So what if it doesn't have decorations?"
What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?
Picking his nose
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.
Cr
Where does a penguin keep his money?
In a snow bank!
(disclaimer: saw this on the display of a local bank and I giggled).
The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now
So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.
She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.
Our parents had to walk uphill both ways in 2 feet of snow to get to school...
But they didn't have to dodge bullets when they get there.
What does a snowman have in common with an ocean?
They're both bodies of water!
Why was the snowman freaking out?
He was having a meltdown.
A Globe was walking down the street.....
It saw Central America crying on the curb.
The Globe asked, "Why are you crying?"
Central America sobbed, "Because....I will never get any snow!"
The Globe retorted, "Well, NOT with THAT latitude!"
When does snow become a boat?
When it's a drift!
I was watching the weather on TV tonight and the forecaster said, "And because of the cold front coming in from North-East, we can expect about 5 inches of snow." She then glared off camera and continued...
"Or as my colleague Bill would say, 8 inches."
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Me: d**...! The forecast shows up to 5 inches of snow!!
Wife: If I don't complain about a few inches, neither should you.
I'm really worried about my wife and this weather
Ever since it started snowing, she's seemed really depressed. We've had strong, cold winds blowing lately, and freezing rain forming layers of ice over the snow. All she does is stand frozen at the window, staring, and I think she might be depressed.
If this keeps up I might need to let her inside.
What does Jon Snow do when he gets cold?
He snuggles up to da-near-es Targaryen.
The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best…
Winter boasts, "Well, you can build snowmen and the snow is so beautiful!"
Spring laughs, "Well sure, but come springtime, everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!"
Summer rays, "Yes, but I am undoubtably the overall best season! Girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that!"
Autumn ~ *-leaves-*
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do native Americans hate the snow?
...because it is white and settles all over their land.
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Snow isn't a problem in Muslim countries but...
...ISIS
How are snowflakes and people similar?
It's hard to drive when they're piled up on the road.
911 - A Parody Of Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis
Over the hills we go, crashing into trees!
The snow is turning red, I think I might be dead,
I woke up in the hospital with stitches in my head, oh!
9-1-1, 9-1-1, Santa Claus is dead!
Rudolph took a .44 and shot him in the head, oh!
Barbie Doll, Barbie Doll, tried to save his life,
But G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!
I've got a unicycle that's great in the snow
It has all wheel drive
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Snow isnt aproblem in arab countries
But isis
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Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.
Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Snow isn't a problem in the Middle East
...but ISIS
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an Eskimo p**...?
A snow blower
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Living in the northeast, I don't normally get mad about snow.
But this snitch a**... weatherman just let my wife know what six inches actually looks like.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy is relaxing at home when he hears a loud b**... on his front door. He opens the door to discover his next-door neighbor standing there looking outraged. "
What's the matter Bill?" he asks the neighbor. "I found your son's name written with pee in the snow between our houses!" he responds. "What's the big deal? He's a kid. Kids do that stuff". I'll tell you the big deal! It was in my daughter's handwriting!"
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the seven dwarf's nickname for snow white?
Heigh h**....
