snow Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious snow puns

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend. He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.



One day, however, the conditions are just too bad for him to ride his bike. There is a thick hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice patches. Finally, after an hour, he decides to go home.



He lies down next to his wife, who is asleep and says: "The weather is terrible outside."

Half awake the wife replies: "And to think that my idiot husband is outside riding his bicycle."


(my 80 y old grandpa's joke)

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Why do Indians hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store?

For the watch

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

Cr

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I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an explosion.

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1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow.

1's hands got so cold that they went numb.

2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number.

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Why is Jon Snow so ticklish?

Aunts in his pants...

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land

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Why do Natives hate snow?

Because its white and settles on their land.

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So far we have four inches of snow on the ground.

Or as my husband would say...seven inches.

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Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

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Snow wife.

One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.

Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"



With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

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There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"

He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

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There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick

Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA

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Today, I got up early...

...put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made coffee, grabbed my clubs, slipped quietly into the garage, loaded my clubs into the car, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

She sleepily replied, 'I know, can you believe my husband is out golfing in that stuff?'

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John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.

-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?


John laughs and continues with his drink.

-Why is this funny?

John responds,

-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

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Husband and wife are arguing...

The husband thinks it's raining

His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"

So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.

He says, "That is rain, comrade."

The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night

Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.

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A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose.

"I think it's raining," he says to his wife.

"No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies.

Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them.

"Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."

"It's raining, of course" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on.

But the woman insists, "I know that felt like snow."

To which the man quietly says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Credit to /u/Bidonet

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NSFW 3 gay guys are talking at the bar

They each just lost their lovers. The first guy says "I'm going to spread his ashes over the ocean, we loved going there." The second guy says "I'm going to spread his ashes in the mountains because we loved the snow." The last guy says "I'm going to put my lovers ashes in some chili so he can tear my ass up one more time."

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In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

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Father looks out the window on a snowy evening.

He gets furious and turns red.

"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.

"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."

"Oh. That's not so bad."

"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for Fresh Prints.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Just follow the Fresh Prints

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So God is nearly done creating Adam and Eve

And he looks to the bottom of the bag of attributes and sees there are only two left, so he decides to let the newly created humans choose who will get what.

God pulls out the first one and announces "the ability to stand while peeing". Adam jumps up excitedly and screams, "Yes! That one is for me! I could do so many things! Write my name in the snow, pee off of tall buildings, make ants go swimming. That's awesome!"

God says, "Well then, man shall have the ability to pee standing up... now let's see what is left. Ah! Multiple orgasms!"

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A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

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A blonde in a snowstorm

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it."

Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes.

Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

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Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.

Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.

They see a sign: "Contest for World's Most Beautiful Woman." Snow White goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing a crown.

They walk along and see another sign: "Contest for World's Strongest Man." Superman goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing the belt.

They walk along and see a sign: "Contest for World's Greatest Liar." Pinocchio goes in, later comes out with his head down crying.

"Who the hell is Mitt Romney?" Pinocchio sobs.

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How do you find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

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Let's hear it for snow!..

The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

He saw the snowblower coming.

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Anyone else experiencing bad weather?

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Northern tip of Connecticut. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the North wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

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Why don't native Americans like snow?

Because it's white and all over their land.

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Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?

'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

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Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week

They exchanged numbers

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How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?

Just look for the fresh prints.

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Friends are like snow

when you pee on them, they disappear.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints

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Why do Indians not like snow?

It is white and settles on their land.

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Two Snowmen are in a field...

...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."

My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.

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What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because its white and settles on their land

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What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?

The snow, dumbass.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for Fresh Prints

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I hate it when..

I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,

My white friend in snow,

My Chinese friend in sand,

And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strikes.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

He heard the snow blower coming

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Why don't Natives like snow?

Because it's white, and it's on their land.

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As soon as the native american saw snow, he frowned and said

I don't like the snow. It's white and it's on my land.

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Winter weather emergency

On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in the back woods of Minnesota were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so snow plows can get through conveniently".

So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio
announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." And the power goes off.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?"

With all the love and understanding that men who are married to blondes (and those with grey hair) always exhibit, the husband replied, "Honey, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

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What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?

Picking his nose

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for fresh prints

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A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow...

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow. When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks
"can you shave my dog's paws so that snow doesn't get stuck in his fur?" The vet responds
"Shaving isn't the best option for dog paws, you should go to the drugstore and use some Nair shampoo instead." At the drugstore, the woman goes to check out with her bottle of Nair. Upon seeing this, the pharmacist says
"If you're using this on your legs, be sure not to shave for three days to avoid irritation." The woman responds
"No, it's not for my legs" The pharmacist says
"Well, if you're using this on your underarms, don't use deodorant for three days to avoid irritation there." The woman says
"Oh, no, it's for my Schnauzer." The pharmacist responds
"In that case, when you're done, don't ride your bike for a while."



-My barber told this one, today.

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What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow?

Fro-zen.

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Why don't Indians like snow?

Because it's white and on their land

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Follow the fresh prints.

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A Russian Couple

A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!

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Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disney Land?

They caught her sitting on Pinocchio's Face yelling "Lie you little fucker

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Why did the snowman smile?

He heard that the snow-blower was in town.

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How do you find Will Smith in the Snow?

I don't know. Just look for the Fresh prints! Ha ha.

He's also black.

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What is the difference between Snow White and Brazil?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep before letting seven in.

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Donald Trump is like Jon Snow

He's obsessed with the wall and he knows nothing

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

It's white and it's all over their land.

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What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls

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Snowy week.

One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?"
With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

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Why do native Americans hate the snow?

Because it's white, and it's on their land.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the fresh prints.

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How do you find Will Smith buried in the snow?

You follow the fresh prints

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Snow White and the 7 Dwarves were all in bed feeling happy

Happy left soon afterwards, so they started feeling grumpy

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Easy, you just look for the fresh prints.

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Why was the snow yellow?

Elsa let it go.

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How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower?

Give the bitch a shovel.

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Snow White and the Farm Hand

A newly hired farm hand is tending to his daily duties when he's approached by Snow White.

"How are you today, good sir?" she asks.

"Very good, Snow White." He responds

"How are the animals today? Have you yet to ask them?" She asks.

A bit confused, the farm hand answers, "Animals don't talk, ma'am. However, I'm sure they're just fine."

Snow White walks up to the donkey. "How are you today, donkey?"

"Very good, my lady!" replies the donkey.

She walks up to the pig. "How's your day, pig?"

"A fine day, indeed!" replies the pig.

Suddenly the man starts shouting, "The sheep LIES! The sheep LIES!"

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In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow...

Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.

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What's the difference between Snow White and the Brazil soccer team?

Snow White had the excuse of being asleep when she let seven in.

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Do you know why native Americans hate snow?.....

Because it's white and on their land.

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How can you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for Fresh Prints

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

It's white and on their land.

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Where does a polar bear keep his money?

In a snow bank.

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The snow in the UK is pretty bad right now

So I thought I'd check on my elderly 85 year old neighbour Valerie to see if she needed anything from the shops.

She said she did so I gave her my list too, no point us both going out in this weather.

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Johnny was called out by his teacher

to use the word contagious in a sentence. Standing up at his desk he paused and finally said, "my Dad was standing at the front window of the house watching my Mom shovel the snow and said ""it'll take that cunt ages to shovel the driveway"".

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What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?

In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

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Why do Aboriginals hate snow?

Because it's white and on their land.

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Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy...

At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for fresh prints!

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One day the Seven Dwarfs decided they wanted to see Snow White naked.

Their only option was to spy on her in the shower. They decided to stand on each others shoulders and watch through a small window above the bathroom door. Dopey being the smallest he was on top, calling down to the others what he saw.

"She's taking off her skirt" He whispers to the next one down, who whispers it to the next and so on.

"She's taking off her shirt" ^"She's ^taking ^off ^her ^shirt"^"She's ^^taking ^^off ^^her ^^shirt"...

"She's totally naked!" ^"totallly ^naked!" ^^"Totally ^^naked!"...

This continued, Dopey describing Snow's every motion, and the others passing it on. And then he thought he heard footsteps.

"Shhhh! Someone's coming!" ^"me ^too!" ^^"me ^^too!" ^^^"me ^^^too!"...

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Be careful this Winter!!!!

Snow is like a cock, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it. Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you! BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!

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Donald Trump is out one winter day...

walking around and enjoying the snow when he sees that someone had peed 'Donald sucks' in the snow. Furious, he called his Secret Service agents and yells "I want to know who did this!!".

A few days later his lead agent comes back and says "We solved it sir, but there's bad news and worse news. The bad news is that it's Mike Pence's urine".

Donal gasps "what the hell could be worse than that?"

"It's Melania's handwriting."

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Ever wonder how the seven dwarves got their names?

Ever wonder how the seven dwarves got their names?

Miss Snow White was a randy cow,

And desperate for a fuck.

So off she went into the woods,

To try and get some luck!

She'd almost given up looking,

When she saw some chimney smoke.

Then stumbled on a cottage,

And went in for a poke.

Her clothes came off in seconds.

And she'd just removed her pants,

When seven Dwarves came marching in,

With a merry song and dance.

Snow White just stood there speechless,

And thought she was in heaven!

Originally after one good shag,

But now she could have seven.

Straight away she took command,

"My fanny need a lick!"

And when one dwarf moved forward,

She said "Oi-you'd better drop you pick!"

So down he went onto all fours,

And said "I ain't licking that!"

"Not there, that me arse-hole,

You DOPEY little brat!"

The next dwarf started blushing,

"Do we have to do it here?"

Snow White said "Don't be BASHFUL!

Unless you're fucking queer!"

So reluctantly he whipped it out,

To prove he was no fool.

And Snow White gave a big "Heigh-Ho"

As she rode upon his tool.

Now one dwarf wasn't smiling,

'Cos he hadn't had a sniff.

And due to his impatience,

He couldn't raise a stiff.

"Relax, you GRUMPY bastard",

So he did as he was told.

And as soon as he was hard enough,

He shot his fucking load.

The next dwarf got a blow job,

And she took him in quite easy.

But she just avoided brain-damage,

Whe he sneezed, she called him SNEEZY.

With three dwarves left, she turned and said,

"You're next, I want your knob!"

But no sooner had he entered her,

Than he was sleeping on the job.

"Wake up you SLEEPY idiot"

She wanted more from him.

And he woke with such excitement,

That he filled her hairy quim.

The next dwarf rammed his up her,

And shagged her fanny raw.

And dazed Snow White then whimpered,

"That should be against the law!"

He made poor Snow White tremble,

He was so big and thick.

"No wonder you're so HAPPY,

With that fucking great big dick."

With one dwarf still remaining,

But feeling rather sore,

She said "You'll have to use your tongue,

My clit can't take no more.!"

And so he put his tongue to work,

Where others had put their cocks.

And 'cos he made Snow White feel better,

She named the last one DOC.

Now Snow White couldn't do much,

With all that cum inside her quim,

So she grabbed a cup, and squatted,

And filled it to the brim.

So there's the truth about the dwarves,

And how they got their names,

By satisfying miss Snow White,

And joining in her games.

There's one more thing you need to know,

And that's what happened to that cup?

Well think of what you're drinking...

When you next buy 7-UP!!



-DISCLAIMER-

As much as I'd love to say I wrote this, I didn't.

Someone sent this masterpiece to me and I'm just passing it along.

If the original author is out there, let me thank you for this!

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Why is sex like snow?

Because you never know how many inches you'll get or how long it will last..

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What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

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What is the difference between a snow woman and a snow man?

Snowballs.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

...he saw a snowblower coming up the street.

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One snowman says to the other snowman,

"do you smell carrots?"

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For as long as anyone could remember ...

this indian chief was in charge of naming all the children that were born in the tribe.

One day, this one brave comes up to him and says " Chief, how do you name these children? How do you think of their names ?"

The chief says "Very simple, when a child is born and i see snow gently falling, i say you should be called *SNOW GENTLY FALLING and when a child is born and i see a hawk flying over, i say you should be called *HAWK FLYING OVER, but tell me *TWO DOGS FUCKING why are you so interested?"


-Silkwood 1983

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Our parents had to walk uphill both ways in 2 feet of snow to get to school...

But they didn't have to dodge bullets when they get there.

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Why do Indians hate the snow so much?

Because its white and occupies all of their land.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

He heard the snowblower was coming.

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A bird is flying south for the winters

It freezes mid-flight and falls down on the snow in a farm. A cow passing by takes pity on it and shits on it to keep it warm.

After few minutes the bird regains consciousness because of the warmth and starts chirping.

A cat hears it, picks it out of the shit, cleans it and eats it.

Moral of the story:

Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Not everyone who takes you out of a shit is your friend.

But most importantly,

When you are in a deep shit, shut the fuck up.

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What do you call a ripped yeti?

The abdominal snow man.

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A woman takes a business trip...

A woman takes a business trip to Arizona for a week. On her first night there in the hotel, a big black man comes in through her window and has passionate sex with her all night long. The next night, the same thing happens. She asks the man for his name, but he says "No, you'll laugh at me". She promises she won't, but he leaves anyways. After continuing this for the whole week, the woman begs the man for his name. He says "Fine, as long as you promise not to laugh... My name is Snow". The woman laughs uncontrollably and he yells "See I knew you would!". She responds "No, I'm not laughing at you. It's just that my husband will never believe me when I tell him I got 8 inches of Snow in Phoenix"

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Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?

Because the snowblower was coming down the block.

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Why does the Indian chief hate snow?

It's White and all over his land.

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Why do terrorists in Antarctica love being interrogated?

Snow boarding is fun as hell.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Looks for the fresh prints.

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I needed a password eight characters long...

... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

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What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snowballs.

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What did the seven dwarfs say when the Prince awoke Snow White?

"Guess it's back to jerking off."

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Look for fresh prints.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You search for the fresh prints.

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What do Daenerys Targaryen and the North have in common?

Right now, they're both getting a few inches of Snow.

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What's red and has 7 dents in it?

Snow whites cherry!

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I needed a password 8 characters long ..

.. so I used Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

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Northeast Weather

I just got off the phone with my friend in Boston. He said that since early this morning, the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just staring. He said, if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

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Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

He heard a snowblower coming.

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Snow in the forecast...

...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"

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Why do natives hate snow?

Because they're white and settles on their land

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What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snow balls.

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What's red and has seven dents in it?

Snow whites cherry.

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My Christmas joke.

One day Santa is walking through the forest when all of a sudden from out of the snow he sees a tiny Angel dragging a huge Christmas tree behind her.

"Ho ho ho, what do we have here? " Asked Santa.

The little Angel looks up and says "Oh. Thank goodness I found you! A family came to the forest and cut down this tree, but then they saw an even bigger tree and took that one instead just leaving this poor tree to die! So I pulled and pulled, dragging this tree through the snow looking for you Santa. I knew that you would tell me what to do with this tree. Tell me Santa, tell me what I should do with this tree! "

And so Santa told the little Angel exactly what she should do with that tree and that is why you still see a little Angel right up on top of the tree every year.

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Outside is snowing hard.

My wife is looking thru the window with a nostalgic look.
If it is getting colder i might let her in.

PS: Sorry my native language is not english and i'm too old to learn it good.

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

'cause it's white and all over their fucking land!

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Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...

Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey sucks" in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the urine came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."

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Mickey called the police because someone had written "Mickey Sucks" in urine in the snow in front of Mickey's house.

The officer told Mickey,
"I've got some good news and I have some bad news."
"What's the good news?" Mickey asked.
"The good news is that we were able to identify whose urine it was. It was Goofy's."
"How could the bad news be worse than that?"
"It was Minnie's handwriting."

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Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.

Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window.

If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.

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What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

I smell carrots too.

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Why did the native american hate snow?

It's white and on his land.

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A Globe was walking down the street.....

It saw Central America crying on the curb.
The Globe asked, "Why are you crying?"
Central America sobbed, "Because....I will never get any snow!"
The Globe retorted, "Well, NOT with THAT latitude!"

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Fords new heated tailgates..

Fords working on a new heated tailgate feature, that way when you have to push it in the snow your hands won't be cold.

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A Snowman walks into a bar...

...The Batender gets angry and yells "WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERYTHING WEIRD END UP IN MY BAR?"

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What's red and has seven little dents in it?

Snow White's cherry.

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How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?

You just look for fresh prints.

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An Unseasonable Joke

Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

A: Snow Balls

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What's the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

snow balls

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A Native American comes to his chief with a question...

For as long as anyone could remember, the chief was in charge of naming all of the children born into the tribe.

One day, this one brave comes to him and says "Chief, Can I ask you something? How do you name these children? Where do their names come from?"

The Chief looks at him and says "It's very simple, young one. When a child is born and I see snow gently falling, I say *You shall be called snow gently falling* and when a child is born and I see a hawk flying over, I say *You shall be called hawk flying over.*

But tell me, Two Dogs Fucking, why are you so interested?

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2050's kids won't get this...

Snow

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[GOT SPOILER] Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and it's on our land!

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What is the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snowballs

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Its white and on their land.

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Women are like snow flakes.

They can't drive.

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How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

...Look for the Fresh Prints...

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What do your sister and snow have in common?

I plow both.

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"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"

Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"

Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"

Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"

*a baby cries in the corner*

Dad: Shut up Brick!

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What did one snowman say to the other?

Does it smell like carrots out here to you?

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I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border.

She said that since early this morning, the snow has been coming down, and it is nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the wind is increasing to near gale force. Her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She said that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.

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What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Does it smell like carrots to you?

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Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

Because he saw the snow blower coming

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How did the snowman get happy?

The snowblower came around

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What are the best Snow puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Snow? Well, here are the best jokes about Snow to have fun with.

Joko Jokes