snow Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious snow puns

Why do Indians hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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Why did Jon Snow stand in line for 6 hours at the Apple Store?

For the watch

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Why do Native Americans hate snow?

Because it's white and settles on their land.

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What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.

Cr

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I lose my White friends in the snow, I lose my Black friends at night, I lose my Asian friends in the sand, where do I lose my Arab friends?

In an explosion.

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1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow.

1's hands got so cold that they went numb.

2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number.

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Why is Jon Snow so ticklish?

Aunts in his pants...

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So far we have four inches of snow on the ground.

Or as my husband would say...seven inches.

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Why did the snowman take his pants off?

He heard the snow blower was coming.

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There's an old Native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.

Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.

"Got no clue", he said.

I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"

He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

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There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick

Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA

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John Snow.

John Snow was at a bar outside the great wall drinking. A beautiful girl comes inside and her eyes meet his. She likes him, so she goes and introduce herself.

-Hello, handsome. My name is Jenny Spring. What's yours?


John laughs and continues with his drink.

-Why is this funny?

John responds,

-Nothing. I just imagine how rare it would be to have 7 inches of Snow in spring...

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Husband and wife are arguing...

The husband thinks it's raining

His wife says, "No honey, that's snow"

So they ask Rudolph, their soviet friend what he thinks.

He says, "That is rain, comrade."

The husband says, "See! Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

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Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night

Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7.

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NSFW 3 gay guys are talking at the bar

They each just lost their lovers. The first guy says "I'm going to spread his ashes over the ocean, we loved going there." The second guy says "I'm going to spread his ashes in the mountains because we loved the snow." The last guy says "I'm going to put my lovers ashes in some chili so he can tear my ass up one more time."

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In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

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Father looks out the window on a snowy evening.

He gets furious and turns red.

"What's the matter, dear," his wife asks.

"It's our daughter's new boyfriend. He's written his name in the snow with pee."

"Oh. That's not so bad."

"Yeah, but it's in *her* handwriting."

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A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

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Let's hear it for snow!..

The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

He saw the snowblower coming.

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Why don't native Americans like snow?

Because it's white and all over their land.

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Anyone else experiencing bad weather?

Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Northern tip of Connecticut. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the North wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

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Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?

'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

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Snow White and the Three Dwarfs met Goldilocks and the Seven Bears at a party last week

They exchanged numbers

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Friends are like snow

when you pee on them, they disappear.

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Why do Indians not like snow?

It is white and settles on their land.

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Two Snowmen are in a field...

...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."

My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.

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What's white, cold, falling in winter and ending with "bass" ?

The snow, dumbass.

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I hate it when..

I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark,

My white friend in snow,

My Chinese friend in sand,

And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strikes.

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Why was the snowman smiling?

He heard the snow blower coming

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What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store?

Picking his nose

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What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow?

Fro-zen.

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A Russian Couple

A Russian couple is walking in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose. "It's raining," he says. "No," says his wife, "It's snowing." And they begin to argue. Finally, the man says, " Let's ask comrade Rudolph what the *official* weather is." They approach and they ask him. "It is officially raining." he says. The woman cries, "But it felt just like snow!" To which her husband says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!

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Why did the snowman smile?

He heard that the snow-blower was in town.

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Did you hear Snow White got thrown out of Disney Land?

They caught her sitting on Pinocchio's Face yelling "Lie you little fucker

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What are the most funny Snow jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Snow? Well, here are the best Snow dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Snow pick up lines to share with friends.

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