Snow Day Jokes

70 snow day jokes and hilarious snow day puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snow day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Snow Day Short Jokes

Short snow day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snow day humour may include short snow storm jokes also.

  1. I was out shoveling snow with my kid the other day... He kept whining about why I wasn't using the shovel.
  2. I was disappointed when it didn't snow on my wedding day... But I did get 8 inches on my honeymoon.
  3. Ana from Frozen was upset it didn't snow on her Wedding day, but everything has a silver lining because she got 8 inches that night
  4. If a class going to cosmetology school can't make it because of a snow storm… Do they have a make up day?
  5. I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.
  6. Dad: When Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked miles to school, uphill, in the snow, every day. Son: Yeah?! Well when Abraham Lincoln was your age, Dad, he was president!
  7. My wife asked for snow on her wedding day Sadly it didn't, although she got 8 inches on the honeymoon.
  8. Why did Snow White stop using the mail-in photo lab? She was tired of singing "Some day, my prints will come..."
  9. I saw this really handsome guy running through a blizzard the other day... He was dashing through the snow.
  10. Why did the catholic priest get the alter boys to sit in the snow? So he could have a couple cold ones to slurp back after a hard days work.

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Snow Day One Liners

Which snow day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snow day? I can suggest the ones about snowstorm and snow.

  1. Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day.
  2. Why did Jon snow wait outside he Apple Store for 3 days? For the watch
  3. For the next two days you can call me Edward... I'll be snowed in
  4. I met Jon Snow the squirrel the other day He knows nutting.
  5. What did Snow White say when her photos didn't arrive? Some day my prints will come.
  6. Most states' schools get snow days... ...but in California they get smoke days.
  7. Snow Day! I get to stay home owl day. It's gonna be a hoot.
  8. Yo' mama got such bad dandruff, the principal declared a snow day!
  9. I'm not racist, but... I enjoy eating snow cones on hot days.
  10. My tinder matches are like a snow day.. ..No class.

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Snow Day Jokes

What funny jokes about snow day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snow blizzard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snow day pranks.

Yo mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.

Yo' Mama's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head, the principal called a snow day.

Got a ceiling fan? Put some little piles of talcum powder on top of the blades and wait for somebody to turn it on. It'll be snowing indoors.

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played football on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there."
Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.
Shortly after that, Joe passes on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, "Mike--Mike."
"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"
"Mike--it's me, Joe."
"You're not Joe. Joe just died."
"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice.
"Joe! Where are you?"
"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."
"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.
"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired."
That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?
"You're on the team for this Saturday's match!"

Snow White and the Farm Hand

A newly hired farm hand is tending to his daily duties when he's approached by Snow White.
"How are you today, good sir?" she asks.
"Very good, Snow White." He responds
"How are the animals today? Have you yet to ask them?" She asks.
A bit confused, the farm hand answers, "Animals don't talk, ma'am. However, I'm sure they're just fine."
Snow White walks up to the donkey. "How are you today, donkey?"
"Very good, my lady!" replies the donkey.
She walks up to the pig. "How's your day, pig?"
"A fine day, indeed!" replies the pig.
Suddenly the man starts shouting, "The sheep LIES! The sheep LIES!"

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow...

A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow. When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks
"can you shave my dog's paws so that snow doesn't get stuck in his fur?" The vet responds
"Shaving isn't the best option for dog paws, you should go to the drugstore and use some Nair shampoo instead." At the drugstore, the woman goes to check out with her bottle of Nair. Upon seeing this, the pharmacist says
"If you're using this on your legs, be sure not to shave for three days to avoid irritation." The woman responds
"No, it's not for my legs" The pharmacist says
"Well, if you're using this on your underarms, don't use deodorant for three days to avoid irritation there." The woman says
"Oh, no, it's for my Schnauzer." The pharmacist responds
"In that case, when you're done, don't ride your bike for a while."
-My barber told this one, today.

so there are these three guys going on a skiing trip

and one day they are skiing when a massive blizzard arrives from the middle of nowhere. so they dig a snow cave because it's either that or death. they huddle up together for warmth during the night and fall asleep. in the morning the one on the right says 'i had a dream that someone touched my p**...!' the one on the left looks surprised and says 'i also had a dream that someone touched my p**...!'
the one in the middle says 'i had a dream that i was skiing'

One day the Seven Dwarfs decided they wanted to see Snow White n**....

Their only option was to spy on her in the shower. They decided to stand on each others shoulders and watch through a small window above the bathroom door. d**... being the smallest he was on top, calling down to the others what he saw.
"She's taking off her skirt" He whispers to the next one down, who whispers it to the next and so on.
"She's taking off her shirt" ^"She's ^taking ^off ^her ^shirt"^"She's ^^taking ^^off ^^her ^^shirt"...
"She's totally n**...!" ^"totallly ^n**...!" ^^"Totally ^^n**...!"...
This continued, d**... describing Snow's every motion, and the others passing it on. And then he thought he heard footsteps.
"Shhhh! Someone's coming!" ^"me ^too!" ^^"me ^^too!" ^^^"me ^^^too!"...

my favorite joke I heard in school

Rudolph was a child adopted from Russia. One day Rudolph and his brother are arguing if it is raining or snowing outside. Rudolph says it raining and his brother says its snowing. They decide to ask their mother what she thinks. Their mother says its raining. When his brother asked why she agreed with Rudolph she said "Because Rudolph the red knows rain dear."

A Finnish Soldier...

In the winter war in 1945 is getting in line for a rifle. The man behind the counter says "sorry, the guy in front of you got the last one. Here, take this hockey stick, and if you see a Russian, point it at him and yell BANG!" The Finn finds this ridiculous but takes it, thinking he'll just fix a bayonet on the thing and fight like that.
As he gets to the bayonet counter, the guy in front of him gets the last one. Instead, he is given a piece of wood about six inches long with the instructions to yell STAB! every time someone is within arms length.
Feeling horribly unprepared, he heads out to battle with his platoon. Shortly, they become separated by snow and wind, and he is left alone with no weapon. A Russian comes over a snowdrift. Desperately, the man throws up his hockey stick and yells BANG! The Russian drops.
So he fights all through the day, yelling BANG and STAB at his will and dropping the enemy like flies. Late in the day, a huge Russian soldier comes plodding toward the man slowly. Feeling confident, the man fires his hockey stick to no effect. He tries a couple more times. Nothing.
Desperately, he throws his small piece of wood at the man, but it just bounces off. Suddenly, the earth around him explodes and he goes flying. Just as he is about to die, the Russian plods on by him saying under his breath "tank, tank, tank, BOOM!"

An Illinois man…

…left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.  
Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly woman whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:  

Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City.

He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past few months:
"Dolf, are you sure its just rain for tomorrow? I bet everyone's praying for a little snow tonight!"
"No no Erin, just rain for tomorrow"
"Are you sure we can't look forward to a white Christmas?"

What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?

We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed
to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked:
'So Bobby, where's that 8 inches you
promised me last night?'

Today, I got up early...

...put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made coffee, grabbed my clubs, slipped quietly into the garage, loaded my clubs into the car, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
She sleepily replied, 'I know, can you believe my husband is out golfing in that stuff?'

Vacation in Jamaica

Lady goes on vacation to Jamaica.  Upon arriving, she meets a black
man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, 'What
is your name?'
'I can't tell you,' the black  man says.
Every night they meet and every night  she asks him again what his
name is, and he always responds the same, he can't tell her. On her
last  night there she asks again 'Can you please tell me your name?'
'I can't tell you my name because you will laugh at me.' says the black  man.
'There is no reason for me to laugh at you,'  the lady says.
'Fine, my name is Snow!'  the  black man replies. And the lady bursts
into laughter, and the black man gets mad and  says, ' I knew you
would make fun of it'.
The  lady replied, 'I'm not making fun of your name. I'm  thinking of
my husband who won't believe me when I  tell him that I enjoyed 10 inches
of Snow every day in  Jamaica.💃🗻🍆

Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...

Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."

Only cricket fans will appreciate

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day.
As they walk, they come across a sign:
"Beauty contest to find the most beautiful woman in the world.."
"I am entering" said Snow White.
After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, "Well, how'd ya do?"
" First Place ," said Snow White
They continue walking and they see a sign:
"Contest to find the strongest man in the world.."
"I'm entering," says Superman.
After half an hour he returns and they ask him,
"How did you make out?""
First Place ," answers Superman. "Did you ever doubt it?"
They continue walking when they see a sign:
"Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?"
Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes...
"What happened?" they asked.
"Who the f--k is Chris Cairns?" asked Pinocchio.

Joke of the Day 6/12/14

The other day, I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up,and I said " Did you get my drift?".

One day Santa is walking through the forest when all of a sudden from out of the snow he sees a tiny Angel dragging a huge Christmas tree behind her.

"h**... h**... h**..., what do we have here? " Asked Santa.
The little Angel looks up and says "Oh. Thank goodness I found you! A family came to the forest and cut down this tree, but then they saw an even bigger tree and took that one instead just leaving this poor tree to die! So I pulled and pulled, dragging this tree through the snow looking for you Santa. I knew that you would tell me what to do with this tree. Tell me Santa, tell me what I should do with this tree! "
And so Santa told the little Angel exactly what she should do with that tree and that is why you still see a little Angel right up on top of the tree every year.

Weather Report...

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Heard this one over Christmas, I can only apologise.

Back in the pre-glasnost days a Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about
whether it was raining or snowing.
Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph
whether it's officially raining or snowing.
As the official approached, the man said "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course", he replied,and walked on.
But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the man
quietly replied,
"Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear."

The NSA is bracing itself for what could be the single largest data leak in history. Rumors are circulating about the possibility of thousands of whistleblowers stepping forward in unison across the Northeast in the next few days.

CNN reports, "This time tomorrow, there will be thousands of Edward's snowed in."

Email Joke

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.

Ski trip [n**...]

Three friends were on a skiing trip in Aspen. After a long day of snow and mountain activity, they returned to their cabin. In an attempt to stay warm, they decided to all three sleep on the same bed.
The next morning, the man on the right side woke up extremely happy, and woke his friends. "Guys! I had the most amazing dream! I dreamed that I got a h**... from a really cute redhead! It felt so real!"
Stunned, the man on the left side said "no way! I had the same dream! And it felt so real! Except I got a h**... from a hot brunette! Ned, let me guess. You had a similar dream about a blonde giving you a h**...?"
The man in the middle says "nah I just had a dream that I was skiing."

How are women like snow?

They seem really cool at first but then you're sick of them after a couple days and no one wants to be driving when they're on the road

It's just a game but...

last night Tom Brady was sacked more than milk and bread at the grocery store before a snow day

What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth?

Some day my prints will come!

My wife prayed for snow on our wedding day..

It didn't snow that day but she got 8 inches on the honeymoon. :D

There's an old native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.

Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day. Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He's always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
"Got no clue", he said.
I was shocked. "What's different about today that you don't know?"
He just shook his head sadly. "Radio broke."

A weatherman reports 10 inches of snow the next day

His wife turns off the TV suddenly. "Well, whenever 10 inches is promised we only end up getting 4"

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend

There is a guy who wakes up at 5 am and rides a bicycle until noon every weekend. He does this no matter what - regardless of rain, snow, or thunder.
One day, however, the conditions are just too bad for him to ride his bike. There is a thick hail, brutal winds, and very slippery ice patches. Finally, after an hour, he decides to go home.
He lies down next to his wife, who is asleep and says: "The weather is terrible outside."
Half awake the wife replies: "And to think that my idiot husband is outside riding his bicycle."
(my 80 y old grandpa's joke)

Bad weather..

I just received this report from a friend in the USA regarding the bad weather there at the moment. He lives in Boston and for the last 2 days they've had non stop snow temperatures of -16 degrees and gale force winds of up to 60mph. They are totally isolated and his mother-in-law hasn't done anything else other than looking through the kitchen window. He was saying that if it carries on like that he will have no alternative but to let her in.
TL;DR (upon advice):
The weather here is terrible. My MIL hasn't done anything else other than staring through the kitchen window. I might have to let her in.

I prayed for snow on my wedding day

Unfortunately I didn't get any, but i got 8" on my honeymoon.

A woman prayed for snow on her wedding day...

But she didn't get any.
I prayed for snow on my wedding day, but sadly, there wasn't any snow. But on my honeymoon I got 8 inches.

Two married ladies go for a girly holiday to the Carribbean

They meet a handsome muscular black man on the first day.
They have a wild week of threesomes and parties, and on the last day the ladies say we never asked you your name.
He replies "my name is snow"
The ladies immediately burst out laughing.
The man looking rather upset asks why they are laughing.
And the ladies say "I don't think our husbands will believe that we got 10 inches of snow in the Caribbean.

President Trump wakes up one winter morning and looks out the Whitehouse window to see the words "Trump s**...!" Written in u**... in the snow.

Outraged, he tasks the Secret Service to find out who is responsible.
Later that day the director of the Secret Service comes into the oval office and asks, "Sir, we have an answer. Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"
"Give me the bad news."
"We got the DNA test back on the u**..., it belongs to the vice president."
"That's the bad news?" Trump exclaims, "what could be worse than that?"
"Well," says the agent, "it was in the First Lady's hand writing."

One day, Mickey Mouse wakes up and found a graffiti on the snow written with pee outside his house.

The graffiti wrote "Mickey s**...".
The police came, and they told Mickey that there's bad news and an even worse news.
The bad news is, the u**... is from Goofy.
The worse news is, its Minnie's handwriting.

Trump looks out on the snow covered White House Lawn, and notices that someone has p**... Trump s**... in the fresh snow.

Furious, he demands the Secret Service investigate. A few days later, the head of the SS says Mr President, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is we've done a dna test on the u**..., and found the culprit. It turns out it's Mike Pence's. That traitor , shouts Trump. I'll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news? Well , says the SS chief, turns out it's Melania's handwriting .

Snow Day

This morning thousands of students and teachers on the East Coast woke up, saw a mountain of snow, started screaming happily and then thought.......
s**..., we have school online today

Told to me by a six year old.

Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.

jokes about snow day