Snooker Jokes
49 snooker jokes and hilarious snooker puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about snooker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will have you rolling with laughter! Read our collection of hilarious snooker jokes about everything from the snooker table, cue, balls and even death of a snooker player. Whether your favourite joke is a bad snooker pun or a bingo/masse/macarena reference, you’re sure to find something to crack up at in this collection.
Funniest Snooker Short Jokes
Short snooker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snooker humour may include short playing pool jokes also.
- Me and girlfriend don't usually do anything for valentines day, thought I'd surprise her so I booked a table for us, she was so excited when I told her Never realised she liked snooker so much.
- I went to a snooker store recently but walked straight out you should have seen the queues
- I was playing snooker with Jacqueline. I looked at her and said, "Where's your cue?"
She said, "It's after the C." - What's the difference between snooker and society? In snooker, black is the most valuable colour.
- I fixed a snooker table's baize without any assistance... ...I felt it myself!
(as everyone else seems to be doing these...) - What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player? One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.
- I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into snooker ball She sent me to the end of the queue
- Doctor I feel like a snooker table... "It may be your diet, what have you eaten?"
"3 reds, a yellow and a pink!"
"ah there's your problem, you're not getting enough greens" - I have been married 38 years but have never been very romantic, so this Valentines night I am going to change, I have booked a table for two for me and the missus. Just hope she likes snooker.
- People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.
Share These Snooker Jokes With Friends
Snooker One Liners
Which snooker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snooker? I can suggest the ones about tennis and poker.
- Used one of the kids dolls to play snooker It's now a Barbie-cue
- A van carrying snooker equipment has crashed in the motorway Queues on both sides.
- What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye? A snooker table
- What do Russians play at the bar? Snooker Blyat
- Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out after the break.
- What do you call a Russian snooker player? Innoff the red.
- Snooker If pink is covered by red, go for the brown.
- I was waiting for ages to play snooker the other night but gave up The cue was too long
- What do you call the worst couple in couples snooker? Miss Cued and Mr Shot
- What do you call a woman juggling pints of lager and playing snooker? Beatrix Potter
- What's green, got six legs and if it fell from a tree it will kill you? A snooker table
- what's the snooker players least favourite movie? cueless
- How did the man get the woman into the pool club? He snooker in!
- What so policemen use when playing snooker? A rest.
- Famous Russian snooker player Inov the red
Snooker Table Jokes
Here is a list of funny snooker table jokes and even better snooker table puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is green, has six brown legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree and hits you? A snooker table.
- What's big, green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you? A snooker table
Playful Snooker Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about snooker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean table tennis jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snooker pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Snooker is like s**....
The pink is more valuable than the brown.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've had constipation for 3 months
Never been to the doctors in years, but took myself there as not had a number 2 in a long time.
Doc says "what have you been eating"?
I said well doc I've been eating snooker b**...!!
What?? Snooker b**... Charlie??
Yes doc, in the morning I have 3 reds a pink, bowl porridge and a nice cup of tea.
Lunch is a sandwich a black, 2 reds and a yellow washed down with another cup of tea.
For dinner I have a nice steak, 4 reds 2 blues 1 brown again washed down with a nice cup of tea.
Doc said "hey Charlie I know where you're going wrong, you ain't eating enough greens!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One wish
"Waiter, does your band play anything by a guest's choice?"
"Of course!"
"Let them play a game of snooker then, so I can e**... dinner in peace!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Trying to have s**... while drunk is like trying to play snooker with a rope
That's Tommy Tiernans joke
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?
To p**... the brown.
When I woke up there was a huge spider in my bath
I should really stop taking equipment from the snooker club.
will you shut up about snooker and make love to me. ''Said my wife.
'' of course darling I replied,
would you prefer I took the easy pink or shall I try for the right brown
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... had trouble making the long shots in snooker
No rest for the wicked
