The Best 41 Snooker Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Snooker jokes. There are some snooker scrabble jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these snooker coldplay puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Snooker Jokes and Puns

I booked a table for my girlfriends birthday

I hope she likes snooker

What do you call the worst couple in couples snooker?

Miss Cued and Mr Shot

What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?

A snooker table. (Courtesy of Leigh Hart on the Alternative Commentary Collective during the New Zealand v South Africa Cricket World Cup semi-final)

Snooker joke, What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?

When I woke up there was a huge spider in my bath

I should really stop taking equipment from the snooker club.

This morning there was large spider in my bath.

I should really stop stealing equipment from the snooker club.


If pink is covered by red, go for the brown.

Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?

To pot the brown.

Snooker joke, Why did the snooker player go to the toilet?

Snooker is like sex.

The pink is more valuable than the brown.

Why are American police officers so bad at snooker?

They always shoot the black

What's the difference between Eric Clapton and a snooker player?

One plays with an electric guitar, the other a-cue-stick.

Who will take the second shot in this snooker game?

Find out after the break.

You can explore snooker macarena reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean snooker basses dad jokes. There are also snooker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I was playing snooker with Jacqueline.

I looked at her and said, "Where's your cue?"

She said, "It's after the C."

Trying to have sex while drunk is like trying to play snooker with a rope

That's Tommy Tiernans joke

What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye?

A snooker table

what's the snooker players least favourite movie?


I fixed a snooker table's baize without any assistance...

...I felt it myself!

(as everyone else seems to be doing these...)

Snooker joke, I fixed a snooker table's baize without any assistance...

will you shut up about snooker and make love to me. ''Said my wife.

'' of course darling I replied,
would you prefer I took the easy pink or shall I try for the right brown

Me and girlfriend don't usually do anything for valentines day, thought I'd surprise her so I booked a table for us, she was so excited when I told her

Never realised she liked snooker so much.

What's the difference between snooker and society?

In snooker, black is the most valuable colour.

What is green, has six brown legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree and hits you?

A snooker table.

What's green, got six legs and if it fell from a tree it will kill you?

A snooker table

People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player.

They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.

Why do cops suck at snooker ?

They always aim for the black one first

I told my psychologist I thought I was turning into snooker ball

She sent me to the end of the queue

What do you call a communist snooker player?

Innoff the Red.

Valentines Night Surprise.

My Wife was all exited when I told her that I had booked a table for Two for Valentines Night, I just hopes she likes Snooker.

Doctor I feel like a snooker table...

"It may be your diet, what have you eaten?"
"3 reds, a yellow and a pink!"
"ah there's your problem, you're not getting enough greens"

What is green and brown, has 6 legs and if fell out of a tree would probably kill you?

A snooker table.

I was waiting for ages to play snooker the other night but gave up

The cue was too long

One wish

"Waiter, does your band play anything by a guest's choice?"

"Of course!"

"Let them play a game of snooker then, so I can eat my dinner in peace!"

Huge crash on the high way, a lorry full on snooker equipment toppled over

There were ques for miles

What's big, green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on top of you?

A snooker table

What do you call a woman juggling pints of lager and playing snooker?

Beatrix Potter

I have been married 38 years but have never been very romantic, so this Valentines night I am going to change, I have booked a table for two for me and the missus.

Just hope she likes snooker.

Used one of the kids dolls to play snooker

It's now a Barbie-cue

Snooker players are the laziest sportspeople in the world ...

... constantly need rests.

What do you call a Russian snooker player?

Innoff the red.

Don't think that colour doesn't matter. Brown, yellow and black must be eliminated so that only white remains. It's the only way to reach victory.

Said the snooker teacher.

What do Russians play at the bar?

Snooker Blyat

A van carrying snooker equipment has crashed in the motorway

Queues on both sides.

What's green, has six legs, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A snooker table.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the snooker fairway jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working snooker chess piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes