Snickers Jokes
76 snickers jokes and hilarious snickers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snickers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From silly riddles to punny one-liners, these Snickers bar jokes will have you rolling in laughter. Get ready for some caramel-coated toffee and Hershey hilarity that will have your friends and family snickering!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Snickers Short Jokes
Short snickers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snickers humour may include short candy bar jokes also.
- There's a new machine at my gym. Used it for an hour and felt sick. It's really good though, does everything! Kit Kats, Snickers, Milky Ways. The lot.
- There's a new machine at my gym. I used it, but after an hour I started feeling sick...
It's got Snickers, cheetos, Peanuts... Everything! - I swapped the wrappers around on my wife's Halloween candy. She didn't appreciate the joke at all. Now she's got her Snickers in a Twix over it.
- I am still waiting for Trump to eat a Snickers ... ... so he becomes Obama again
You're not you when you're hungry - My missus hates it when I put her chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. It gets her Snickers in a Twix.
- The cellphone goes off in class... Bully: "Aww, Is your Mommy calling you?"
The class emerges in snickers.
You: "Nope. Yours is."
The class becomes silent. - New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it.
They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it... - I asked my French friend If she likes to play video games. She replied with Wii . *snickers*
- My friend told me that he was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. I bought him a snickers
- Some one told me a chocolate bar joke, it wasn't that funny So I just snickered.
My 10 year old daughter just told me that one.
Share These Snickers Jokes With Friends
Snickers One Liners
Which snickers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snickers? I can suggest the ones about snack and candy.
- Baltimore, eat a snickers. You turn into Ferguson when you're hungry.
- What do you call it when you giggle while you're drawing ? A snicker-doodle!
- How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? (snicker) *You don't know?*
- The new machine in the gym is great! It has Chex Mix, Oreos, Snickers, everything!
- Why isn't Bruno Mars named Bruno Snickers? Because he doesn't have the nuts.
- What does candy do when you tell it a joke? It Snickers.
- How does a candy bar laugh? It snickers
- I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered…
- The gym got a new machine recently, it does everything! Snickers, twix, Mccoys, pepsi....
- What do you call it when you stab a Snickers at Midnight A Snackrifice
- What do they call snickers chocolate bars in the ghetto? Sniggaz.
- The hardest part about starting a new juice cleanse diet Is trying to juice snickers
- What did the confectioner say to the angry customer? Don't get your snickers in a twix.
- In bed they call me Snickers... ... Because I always satisfy!
- I thought more people would laugh at my candy joke... But all I heard was a few snickers.
Snickers Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny snickers bar jokes and even better snickers bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dog and a Candy Bar How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way?
They are both the same, just without the nuts. - So, Mars Bars are just nutless Snickers, right? I guess you could say that they're infertile.
- Why does Elmer Fudd only let Bug's Bunny eat snickers bars? Because silly wabbit, twix are for kids!
- Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics. They're packed with Peanuts.
- My mate gets annoyed when I give him a chocolate bar in the wrong wrapper He gets his snickers in a twix
- After finding 5 Mars bars, 3 Snickers, a Flake and a packet of M&M's... I think I'm going to give up on Bounty hunting.
- My roommate is high out of his mind the night before the final. I'm mad. He gave me a Snickers bar. I forgive him.
- Have you heard the joke about the chocolate bar? It wasn't very funny so I just snickered.
- I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars... *snickers*
- What kind of bar is funny? A Snickers bar.
Snickers Candy Jokes
Here is a list of funny snickers candy jokes and even better snickers candy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I love getting Halloween candy... It makes me Snicker(s).
- What type of candy bar does Snake eat? Snake-kers (Snickers)
- "Heh. This guy doesn't even know I ate his candy bar.", Tom snickered.
- What's the k**...'s least favorite candy-bar? Snickers
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Snickers Jokes
What funny jokes about snickers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skittles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snickers pranks.
What got him?
Two guys were discussing life in general over drinks one night.
"My grandfather lived to be 96."
"Ninety-six? What finally got him?"
"Liquor and women."
"Well, that just goes to show ya," snickered the o**..., "both will get you in the end."
"Well actually, no, it's not what ya think. Towards the end, Grandpa couldn't get either, so he just laid down and died."
Just been to the gym
Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot..
I was at the store and I asked the clerk to please give me 50 condoms to buy....
I heard two girls snicker behind me so I turned around, looked them straight in the eyes and said, make that 52 condoms.
What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?
(snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...
A black man walks into a corner store with a gun...
He tosses a bag to the man behind the counter and says, "Fill it up with the big ones", the man fills the bag with king-sized snickers and says: "That'll be $10.55, officer."
What do you call a s**... snickers bar
s**...
Alcoholic Horse
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?
The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and p**... he disappears.
This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am.
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.
n**... sunbathing....
A man was sunbathing n**... at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself."
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "You come here a lot; are you an alcoholic?" The horse ponders this for a moment and says, "I don't think I am."
p**...! The horse disappears.
At this point, a psychology student would begin to snicker because he knows about the Descartes postulate, "I think therefore I am."
I could have told you about that at the beginning of the joke, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
How strange...
Last night my flatmate only popped out for milk wearing no make up and instead came back with 4 packets of Haribo, 4 fun size Snickers and a 'Best Costume' trophy.
Dave and John have a conversation
Dave: Are you a v**...
John: I was, until yesterday
Dave: I don't believe you
John: No, seriously, ask your sister
Dave: I don't have a sister
John: You will in 9 months.
*flies away snickering on his magic unicorn*
An emotionally unstable man walks into a 7-11
He browses the candy section and decides to buy a Snickers bar. His total is $1.29. He pays with a $20 bill and tells the cashier to keep whatever is leftover.
"Are you sure?" The cashier says.
"I don't like change." the man replies.
The Whale Joke
Two whales are on a road trip, and they decide to stop at a gas station to get some snacks.
So they go into the candy aisle,
And they pass the snickers,
They pass the kitkats
The skittles,
The starburst,
The airheads,
The milky ways,
And finally they see the m&ms.
And one whale says to the other:
Waoaoaooaooaooaoaowwwoaoaw
And the other whale says:
Waoaoaoaoaoaoaaaaooaoaoaawwww
There are 101 nuns on a bus....
They are all going on a trip. The head Mother Superior stand up and faces all the nuns. She says
"There seem to a problem going on in our church"
99 nuns gasp and one snickers.
She then hold up a c**... and says
"I had found this in our chapel"
99 nuns gasp and one snickers.
"But don't worry" she says, "well find them soon, there's a hole in it"
99 nuns snicker and one gasps.
A man wakes up late one night to find his wife eating candy.
The man says "Honey, why are you eating that this late at night?"
and his wife replies with "Because unlike you, Snickers satisfies me."
Credit to Ronnie Serrano.
Dave and John walk in a market
Dave stole three Snickers bars and put them in his pocket. He said "I have such quick hands, no one ever caught me. I bet you can't do same". At the cashier desk, John says to the cashier " you wanna see some magic" he says "yeah" . John says bring me 3 Snickers bars. He brought them, John ate them. The cashier says "where is the magic in this?" John says "put your hand in this dude's pocket and take them out"
A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.
Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.
An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband
"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably n**... as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get n**... again for old time's sake?"
So they s**... off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my n**... are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, " you're in here alot, are you an alcoholic?"
The horse ponders for a moment and responds " I don't think I am" and p**... he disappears.
This is where philosophy students begin to snicker because they are familiar with Descartes postulate,
" I think therefore I am."
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"
An old Businessman and his young Model ex-wife
were fighting over the custody of their 3-year-old son.
The young mother protested that since she brought the kid into this world,
she had a natural right to the custody of him.
The judge asked the businessman to explain his side of the case.
After a long moment of silence, the old businessman rose from his chair and said,
"Judge, when I put money into a Vending Machine and a Snickers Bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"
This is something my dad told me.
A man was going to meet his girlfriend's dad, when they started eating dinner his stomach started to hurt and he let a little f**... out, no one noticed so he was like neat then he let a little more out, then the dad shouted Rover! , the man snickered and thought they think it's the dog f**... so he f**... again so the dad shouted Rover! then the man thought again man this is so cool so he did it again but a bit more, then the dad shouted a final time Rover get over here before that man s**... on you!
So I was at my local store...
So I was at my local store and watched the bag packer bring an old ladies groceries out to her car. When I got to the checkout I said, "can you carry my groceries out to my car?". The bag packer said, "sure sir, why not".
We traveled across the car park and when we arrived at my car I said, "you know, I probably could have carried my own groceries to my car but I'm kind of lazy"
He said, "I kind of gathered that sir, here's your snickers"
