Snickers Bar Jokes

47 snickers bar jokes and hilarious snickers bar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snickers bar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Snickers Bar Short Jokes

Short snickers bar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snickers bar humour may include short snickers jokes also.

  1. My missus hates it when I put her chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. It gets her Snickers in a Twix.
  2. New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it.
    They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it...
  3. Some one told me a chocolate bar joke, it wasn't that funny So I just snickered.
    My 10 year old daughter just told me that one.
  4. Dog and a Candy Bar How is a dog before he goes into the vet like a Snickers, and after he comes out of the vet like a Milky Way?
    They are both the same, just without the nuts.
  5. So, Mars Bars are just nutless Snickers, right? I guess you could say that they're infertile.
  6. Why does Elmer Fudd only let Bug's Bunny eat snickers bars? Because silly wabbit, twix are for kids!
  7. Snickers bars are now being shipped in packaging made from recycled old newspaper comics. They're packed with Peanuts.
  8. My mate gets annoyed when I give him a chocolate bar in the wrong wrapper He gets his snickers in a twix
  9. After finding 5 Mars bars, 3 Snickers, a Flake and a packet of M&M's... I think I'm going to give up on Bounty hunting.
  10. My roommate is high out of his mind the night before the final. I'm mad. He gave me a Snickers bar. I forgive him.

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Snickers Bar One Liners

Which snickers bar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snickers bar? I can suggest the ones about snickers candy and candy bar.

  1. How does a candy bar laugh? It snickers
  2. I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered…
  3. What do they call snickers chocolate bars in the ghetto? Sniggaz.
  4. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars... *snickers*
  5. What kind of bar is funny? A Snickers bar.
  6. Why aren't snickers chocolate bars popular with girls? They contain traces of pea nuts.
  7. Two peanuts walks into a bar A Snickers bar
  8. What did the Snickers bar tell the Mars bar? Grab some nuts!!!
  9. What type of candy bar does Snake eat? Snake-kers (Snickers)
  10. "Heh. This guy doesn't even know I ate his candy bar.", Tom snickered.
  11. What do you call a s**... snickers bar s**...
  12. What's the k**...'s least favorite candy-bar? Snickers

Snickers Bar Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about snickers bar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chocolate bar jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snickers bar pranks.

Alcoholic Horse

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, you're in here a lot, are you an alcoholic?
The horse ponders for a minute and responds, I don't think I am , and p**... he disappears.
This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, I think, therefore I am.
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

An emotionally unstable man walks into a 7-11

He browses the candy section and decides to buy a Snickers bar. His total is $1.29. He pays with a $20 bill and tells the cashier to keep whatever is leftover.
"Are you sure?" The cashier says.
"I don't like change." the man replies.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, " you're in here alot, are you an alcoholic?"
The horse ponders for a moment and responds " I don't think I am" and p**... he disappears.
This is where philosophy students begin to snicker because they are familiar with Descartes postulate,
" I think therefore I am."
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse.

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "You come here a lot; are you an alcoholic?" The horse ponders this for a moment and says, "I don't think I am."
p**...! The horse disappears.
At this point, a psychology student would begin to snicker because he knows about the Descartes postulate, "I think therefore I am."
I could have told you about that at the beginning of the joke, but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.

Dave and John walk in a market

Dave stole three Snickers bars and put them in his pocket. He said "I have such quick hands, no one ever caught me. I bet you can't do same". At the cashier desk, John says to the cashier " you wanna see some magic" he says "yeah" . John says bring me 3 Snickers bars. He brought them, John ate them. The cashier says "where is the magic in this?" John says "put your hand in this dude's pocket and take them out"

Just been to the gym

Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything – Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Chips, the lot..

An old Businessman and his young Model ex-wife

were fighting over the custody of their 3-year-old son.
The young mother protested that since she brought the kid into this world,
she had a natural right to the custody of him.
The judge asked the businessman to explain his side of the case.
After a long moment of silence, the old businessman rose from his chair and said,
"Judge, when I put money into a Vending Machine and a Snickers Bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"

A child walks into a supermarket in America.

A child walks into a supermarket in America and tries to buy 5 bars of snickers and an assault rifle. The cashier saids, 'I'm sorry, I can't sell this to you'. The child replies; 'Why?' The cashier then saids; 'that's too much chocolate for a little boy to have'.

Have you heard the joke about the chocolate bar?

It wasn't very funny so I just snickered.

Snickers bar

My friend one told me a joke about chocolate, it wasn't that funny, but I snickered!

Man Raises a Toast at the Bar

He toasts, "Here's to spending the rest of my life between my wife's legs!" The crowd hoops and hollers and declares that he won Toast of the Night.
Man goes home and says, "Honey! Honey! I won Toast of the Night!"
"That's great dear!" Says his wife. "What did you toast?"
"Here's to spending the rest of my life going to church with my wife!"
Next day, Wife is out in town and runs into one of her husband's bar buddies. The buddy snickers and asks if she heard what her husband toasted last night.
"Yes, and I think it's a bit odd he'd toast that. It's only ever happened twice. The first time he fell asleep, and the second time I had to y**... his ear to make him come."

A priest walks up to his church's janitor

He then says that he has a problem - his stomach is very upset, and he has been running to the restroom all day. His problem is that the widow Mrs. Idoux is about to show up for her weekly confession, as she does every Friday at exactly 3:00. He asks the janitor to stand in for him at her confession, because Mrs. Idoux always has the same confession, carnal thoughts about a specific man. The priest says that he always gives Mrs. Idoux 10 Hail Marys and sends her on her way. The Janitor agrees, it is obvious the Priest would not ask such a thing were it unnecessary.
The Janitor steps in, and a couple minutes later, the widow Mrs. Idoux steps in to the confession booth. Mrs. Idoux says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have caved into my carnal thoughts and performed o**... s**... on a man who is not my husband." The Janitor, realizing he cannot give the same penance for carnal thoughts as o**... s**..., so he quietly steps out of the booth, calls an altar boy over, and asks "Hey, kid - what does the priest give for o**... s**...?", to which the boy replies "A coke and a snickers bar, why do you ask?"

A cowboy walks into a saloon

A cowboy walks into a saloon as he's passing through town. As he sits down with his drink he notices a few rough looking locals at a table staring and pointing at him and looking generally unfriendly. He finishes his drink, and not wanting any trouble he decides he'd better get back on the road again. He walks out and notices that his horse is no longer tied to the hitch, so he turns around and heads back into the bar. All of the guys at the table are snickering and laughing and staring at him again.
The cowboy loudly says "I'm gonna grab another drink and I'm gonna sit here and drink it, and when I'm done my horse is gonna be back on that hitch out there. And if it's not on the hitch out there when I'm done I'm gonna have to do what I did back in Texas. And I don't want to have to do what I did back in Texas."
The place falls silent and a couple of locals slink out the back door. He finishes is drink, and sure enough his his horse is back on the hitch. He hops on it, and starts trotting down the road. The bartender walks out into the road and says "Hey Mister! What did you have to do back in Texas?"
The cowboy stops his horse, and looks at him.
"I walked home."