Sneezing Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

What does a sneezing nut sound like?

*Ca-shew.*

Kim Kardashin flour bombing incident

Police called off the search for the person who flower bombed Kim Kardashin.

They learned it was just Lindsey Lohan sneezing

What sound does a sneezing gargoyle make?

Stat-choo!

woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing, and every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm."The doctor asks, "What are you doing for it?"

The woman replies, "Sniffing pepper."

I can see a woman sneezing on the escalator.

I think she's coming down with something.

What do you call a sneezing fit?

A sneezure

I couldn't stop sneezing after lunch today.

...I ate a sneezer salad.

(Also this is a true story, and I said this to my office :P)

What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut?

"Yes, what is it?"

What do you call a sneezing Jew ?

a jewwwwwwwww

What do you call a sneezing nut?

Cashew

I was walking behind a girl late at night

I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out

I'm not a smart man

I saw a flying pig! He was coughing and sneezing though, so I killed him.

After all, the swine flu!

My friend couldn't stop sneezing and I said, "man, your nose is like a shotgun with unlimited ammo!"

He said, "It's ah.. ahh.. an-an-allergy"

I said, "no, simile".

Why was the chef's wife sneezing in bed?

He was trying to spice up his sex life

What's the height of loneliness?

Every time after sneezing, I say "God bless me"

If sneezing means someone's thinking about you...

I guess that explains why I never got sick before

Why does sneezing feel so good?

It's a blessing.

What do you call a sneezing virgin?

A Goesintight

There's nothing worse that sneezing while peeing

for whoever comes after you.

What are the funniest sneezing jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Sneezing? Well, here are the best Sneezing puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Sneezing pick up lines to share with friends.

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