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Sneeze Jokes

88 sneeze jokes and hilarious sneeze puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sneeze that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Sneeze Short Jokes

Short sneeze jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sneeze humour may include short blowing nose jokes also.

  1. My crush just sneezed and I accidentally replied "bless you !" Now she's staring at the bush, wondering who said that.
  2. I accidentally said Gazuntite after my crush sneezed. Now she's staring at the bushes wondering who said that.
  3. My wife asked me why I always have to sneeze so loudly. I told her, it's not that I HAVE to….
    Achoos to
  4. Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze.
    My 8 y/o daughter told me this joke.
  5. My sons cheezits joke. You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!
    I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world.
  6. I sneezed in front of my stuttering friend and said, "man, my sinuses are on fire". "i-i-is i-i-it an-an-allergy?" he asked
    I said, "no, it's a metaphor".
  7. My pet snake was sneezing, so i gave it a Claritin. Now it won't speak to me! I shouldn't have given him an anti-hiss-tamine.
  8. An unknown number called me, sneezed and coughed a few times and then hung up. I'm getting tired of all these cold calls.
  9. I wrote a poem too. I sneeze.
    You sneeze.
    She sneezes.
    He sneezes.
    They sneeze.
    We sneeze.
    Now I know it's not a very original poem, but it's pretty sick.
  10. A group of satanists have a meeting when one sneezes. Then it got really awkward when someone said "God bless you."

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Sneeze One Liners

Which sneeze one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sneeze? I can suggest the ones about sniff and cough.

  1. What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
  2. Why do sharks live in salt water Because pepper water makes them sneeze
  3. I just sneezed while eating alphabet soup... ...took the words right out of my mouth.
  4. What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze? Cashew
  5. Why do fish live in salt water? Because if they lived in pepper water they would sneeze
  6. How does a nut sneeze? Cashew!
  7. Why don't dead people sneeze? Because they're too busy coffin.
  8. What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe
  9. Did you hear about the giant who sneezed? it's all over town
  10. What does a sneezing nut sound like? *Ca-shew.*
  11. Bless me father for I have Sneezed
  12. I hate people who don't cover their noses and mouths when they sneeze. They make me sick.
  13. I met god and he sneezed. I didn't know what to say.
  14. What's sneezing on your period like? Smacking the bottom of an open ketchup bottle.
  15. Why did Scottish baby sneeze? It got week old.

Sneeze joke, Why did Scottish baby sneeze?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about sneeze can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of sneeze puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Sneeze Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about sneeze you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean snooze jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make sneeze prank.

Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a c**... Jack box)

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

What would you name someone who can predict when people sneeze?

Nostrildamus

A man discovered a new medication that makes people sneeze constantly. What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

Two men get into an elevator

Two men get into an elevator in a doctors office. One man, beaming says to the other, "I just got a brand new hearing aid. It works great; if you were to drop a pin, I could hear it; if a mouse were to sneeze cross the street, I would hear it." The second man replies "thats impressive, what kind is it?" The first man looks down at his watch and says "11 o'clock."

Woman goes to the doctor...

Woman goes to the doctor and says, "Everytime I sneeze I have an orgasam." The doctor asks, "What have you been doing for it?" She replies, "Snorting pepper."

God's sneeze

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say!

There is so much dust on that drawer that if you sneeze on it

mattress will fall out.

woman constantly keeps sneezing and goes to see the doctor. She tells him, "Doctor, I constantly keep sneezing, and every time I sneeze, I have an o**...."The doctor asks, "What are you doing for it?"

The woman replies, "Sniffing pepper."

How does the Black Knight sneeze?

"Have-at-choo!"

One day, you wake up and everyone has a number over their heads. The number is counting down by the second. Eventually, someone's number reaches zero, and....

They sneeze. Their number resets.

Guess what is the perfect time to sneeze...

At-CHOO O'clock....

How does h**... sneeze?

**a-jew* *

what do you call someone from israel that has to sneeze?

A Jew

Do you know any jokes?

**Her:** "Do you know any jokes?"
**Me:** "No."
**Her:** "I'll teach you one."


"Knock! Knock!"
**Me:** "Who's there?"
**Her:** "Ash."


"Now ask, Ash: who?"
**Me:** "Ash: who?"
**Her:** "Please cover your mouth when you sneeze."
**Me: rekt**

People think they're being polite when they sneeze into their sleeves, but really

it' snot

I just heard God sneeze.

And I have no idea what to say to him.

What do nuts say when they sneeze?

Cashew!

What do sneeze attacks and runners both have?

Tennis shoes

Why do sharks like to swim in salt water?

Because if it was pepper water, they'd sneeze

Why do seals swim in salt water?

Because if they swam in pepper water they'd do nothing but sneeze all day

Just sneezed around some very polite strangers.

#blessed

Every time I come up with a new metaphor it makes me sneeze.

It really sets off my analogies.

My hayfever makes me sneeze like my dairy intolerance makes me f**....

I hate my analogies.

It's allergy season upon us, so remember to say "pika" before you sneeze

and if you forget, just say "bacca" after!

I sneezed and my kids laughed

I yelled "you think it's funny but it's snot".

What state would expect to see a priest pray, sneeze and sit down

Massachusetts

A man walks into a buffet...

He puts a sausage on his plate, and his German friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, he adds a slice of pizza to his plate, and his Italian friend says "now you're speaking my language!".
Then, the man has an incredible urge to sneeze. He reaches for a napkin and raises it up, and his French friend says "now you're speaking my language!".

Teacher: Ok class, can anyone tell me what 'analogy' is?

Student: Analogy is something that makes you sneeze.

What do you call a full body sneeze?

A sneezure.

An electric pokemon just sneezed its biggest sneeze ever

Some would call that its 'Peak Achoo'

If you f**... and sneeze at the same time...

your body will capture a screenshot

Did you hear about the documentary claiming the twin towers were brought down by a large sneeze?

Gesundheit 9/11.

Did you know that non vaxxed kids had super abilities?

Their bodies are way more sensible to environmental exposure, and they can hear a sneeze from miles away.

I have a medical condition where I'm allergic to only one type of pasta

It's called macaroni and sneeze

What's the fastest way to clear a room full of Anti-Vaxers..?

Sneeze.

So on a flight, there is a woman who is sneezing.

Now see, this woman is sneezing very vigorously. Eventually, a man leans over and asks 'what's wrong?'
The woman replies, 'I have a very rare condition wherein every time I sneeze I o**....'
The man replies, 'oh why that sounds terrible! What medication are you taking for it?'
The woman smiles and replies, 'pepper'.

How did the nut sneeze?

Cashew

What do you call a COVID19 + person's sneeze?

Coronal Mass Ejection! ^Astr^ono^my

Did you know if you f**... and sneeze at the same time

Your body takes a screenshot

They say coronavirus came from China.

I am not buying it, no one can sneeze that hard.

A man with the 'Rona disease

A man with the 'Rona disease
Threw caution and care to the breeze
No mask with his kin
He did them all in
With a sniffle a cough and a sneeze.

My friend has this strange condition that makes him sneeze whenever someone greets him.

He reckons it's Heyfever.

Just sneezed all over my toast

I can't believe it snot butter.

You might say this whole Covid thing is...

...nothing to sneeze at
(Just thought of that this morning, not sure if it's been done)

FUN FACT: If you sneeze and f**... at the same time...

Your body takes a screenshot.

The English language is bizzare

There was a young girl from Slough
Who choked on a piece of raw dough
But the time she was through
With hiccup and cough
She woke everyone in the borough

Why do sharks only swim in salt water?...

...
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Where do Incans go to sneeze?

Achoo Picchu

What bacon makes you sneeze?

Peppa Pig

I got the COVID vaccine but I noticed a weird side effect

Every time I sneeze I hear the Microsoft error sound

Just curious, if you sneeze in a monastery

Do the priests say "Bless You"?
Or do they just do it?

Gesundheit

What are you called when you reach the highest power level sneeze ever?
You're a Peak-Achoo.

I'll see myself out...

How does a nut sneeze?

They go, "Caaa-shew!"

Why do some fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze. (From my 8 year old daughter)

My ex just sneezed,,,

My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said "bless you".
Now she is staring at the bushes confused and wondering who said that.

"Did you know that a sneeze travels 100mph?"

"Yes, but that wasn't what triggered the speed camera," replied the police officer.

I've been accused of lying about how much snot comes out of my nose when I sneeze.

They always say I'm blowing it out of proportion

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
(Roughly translated from a recent issue of *Acadie Nouvelle*)

Sneeze joke, Why do fish live in salt water?

jokes about sneeze

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these sneeze jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.