Sneak Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Two thieves break into a house. Once inside, they sneak into the master bedroom and tie up the naked woman they find in there.

A startled, naked, man comes out of the bathroom, sees what's happening and says, "Please, please, take whatever you want, I will even give you the combination to my safe. Just, please, untie her and let her go."

The thieves were surprised by how heartfelt the pleas from the man were. One of them says, "Wow, you must really love your wife in order to beg like that."

The man replies, "I do, and she will be home any minute!"

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her.

Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend.

I told my girlfriend we can either have sex, or I'm leaving to watch Guardians Of The Galaxy.

She said "I'm on my period and Guardians Of The Galaxy is sold out!"

I said, "It's alright, I'll just sneak in through the rear entrance."

I used to smoke weed and go to class...

Sneak in ten minutes late with a bullshit excuse. Slink down low at my desk. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions.

I was the best teacher ever.

I sneaked onto a beach early this morning.

The coast was clear.

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her

And according to the judge, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend

How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison?

a buttload.

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables.

Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table?

Works, doesn't it?

Despite all the flak the public gives him, Trump has already solved the immigration problem in just a few days after becoming President-elect

Just ask yourself, who would want to sneak into America now?

A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra.

But he was spotted.

How do you trap an elephant?

Well first you dig a really big hole. Then put dry leaves and wood in the hole and light them on fire. Wait for the fire to go out. Then cover the hole with leaves and wait for the elephant to walk by it.
Then, sneak up behind the elephant, and when it least expects it, kick it in the ash hole

How do you sneak into a school for ghosts?

Just act super natural.

My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her...

According to her lawyer, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend.

I had to pee really bad at the swimming pool yesterday, so I tried to sneak it in at the deep end...

But the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.

Three dudes sneak into a barn

So, three dudes sneak into a barn, and they're forced to sleep on the same haystack.
The morning after, the dude on the left says, "I had a dream that I was getting the best handjob!"
The dude on the right says, "Holy shit, I had the same dream!" The dude in the middle goes,"I dreamt that I was skiing."

A guy and his girlfriend are at a party. After getting a bit drunk, they decide to head back to her parents house.

As they sneak into her bedroom, she whispers, "listen, I still share a room with my sister, but she's an extremely deep sleeper. As long as we don't cause too much commotion and keep the lights off, she'll never know we're here".

The girlfriend takes off her clothes and climbs onto the bed.

"Wrong hole", she says.

He apologises and re-adjusts...

"Wrong hole!" she repeats.

He apologises again and re-adjusts...

"WRONG HOLE!!" She shouts as he tries one more attempt to get it right...

"LOOK!! For the last time! Will you take your dick out of my sister and come over here!"

I tried to sneak a quick pee in the public pool today but I think the lifeguard saw me.

He blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.

A group of guys goes hunting

So they get a deer, set up camp and start drinking some beers. One of them stumbles off into the woods to take a shit, and when he doesn't come back, his buddies go looking for him. They find him passed out squatting with his pants down and they get a great idea for a prank. So they go back to the camp, and collect some deer innards and sneak back to their friend. They put them under him, so when he wakes up he'll freak out and think they are his. They laugh all the way back to the camp and shortly after they hear him yell out. They roar with laughter, but they start to worry when time goes by and he still hasn't come back. Just when they are about to go looking for him though, he shows up. He tells them how he shit out his intestines, but thanks to the grace of god and a stick he found, he was able to put them back!

Nursing Home

An elderly man and woman at a nursing home become attracted to each other, and decide to sneak off to the janitor's closet to have sex.
They start kissing, and things get pretty heated. The man slowly unbuttons the woman's blouse and removes her bra.
The woman stops him and says, "before we go any further, I think you should know I have acute angina".
The man says, "thank God because you have the ugliest tits I've ever seen"!

Three old women sneak some Jack Daniels into a baseball game, taking shots after each half inning. What inning is it now?

It's the bottom of the fifth, and the bags are loaded.

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says...

"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

There was a farmer who grew watermelons...

He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his water melon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!!!"

The Orchestra

In an orchestra that's practicing Beethoven's Ninth for an upcoming show, there are three guys that play bass. Just down the street from the church where they practice is a small bar. Every practice there would be a break where the basses didn't play, so the basses would sneak out the back of the church and go to the bar for a drink or two, and then get back just in time to finish the show. This continued until the night of the show. While the orchestra is warming up, one bassist turns to the others and says, 'We can't sneak out again, it's the night of the show!' Another bassist replies, 'Don't worry, we can make it. I tied some string around the score so that the conductor will take time to untie it. We have even more time to drink tonight than we did at the practices!' So the basses sneak out, but have a couple drinks too many. Right as they stumble in, the conductor turns the page to reveal the string around the music. He suddenly realizes that it's the bottom of the ninth, the score is tied, and the basses are loaded.

Midnight Surprise!

A colleague approached this man at lunch and invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, and that she does not allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.

The colleague suggested a way to overcome that problem, "When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife's panties, and give her oral sex. Women love it, and believe me, she'll never mention that you were out late with the boys."

So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife's panties, and gave her oral sex. She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realised he had to take a leak, so he told her he'd be right back, got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the john.

"How did you get in here?" he asked. "Shhhhhh!" she replied, "you'll wake-up my mother!"

Breaking: scientists sneak up on periodic table

And add the element of surprise

I can sneak in an Uptown Funk reference here. Don't believe me?

Just watch.

Two married men were at the bar...

...the one looks at the clock and tells his friend, "I'm not looking forward to going home. My wife is going to chew me out again for being away drinking so late. Every time I'm out like this I try to sneak back home and into bed without waking her so she doesn't know how late I've been out. I turn off the car and coast into the driveway. I take off my shoes and enter through the side door. I even get changed in the bathroom and then try to slip into bed unnoticed. But she always wakes up and then I have to stay awake and give appropriate answers for the next 30 minutes of angry lecture."

"I never have that problem." says the friend. "I roar into the driveway and bring the car to a screeching halt, slam the front door shut as I come in, throw open the bedroom door, jump in bed with her and slap her butt and say, 'Guess who's horny?!' and then she pretends to be asleep."

it seems Oscar Pistorious jokes still have legs..

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't ever sneak up on Oscar Pistorius.

She didn't notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

Oscar Pistorius. Not the first South African with a race problem.

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

Absolutely shocking news from South Africa. White man arrested for murder.

Oscar Pistorius. Just because he has no legs doesn't mean he's unarmed.

Surely Oscar Pistorius cant be the first man to wake up legless on Valentines day and shoot all over the missus while imagining she's someone else!

I take it Oscar Pistorius's girlfriend bought him shoes for Valentines.

What do you call a room full of dead people? An Oscar Pistorius surprise birthday party... or... An Oscar Pistorius St Valentine's Day Massacre

Oscar Pistorius has an incredible record of wins to his name - Six gold medals, four silver medals and one argument.

A young woman is dead, the life of up‑and‑coming athlete, Oscar Pistorius, is ruined, and people are already making jokes about it. That's prosthetic... i mean pathetic.

I think it's safe to say that Oscar Pistorius won't be getting his leg over tonight.



Oscar Pistorious' lawyer is trying to claim mistaken identity
Personally I don`t think he has a leg to stand on


And the Oscar goes to ... Prison.

An artist, architect, and engineer are at a bar...

...talking about having a wife vs. a mistress.
The artist declares that he prefers a mistress because he finds them more spontaneous and exciting.
The architect says, "no, I much prefer a wife because I enjoy building that foundation with one woman and love the security that comes with marriage."
The engineer says, "I prefer to have both and to spend equal time between the two of them... eventually, they both get used to you not being around and you can sneak off and get some work done."

Roses are red, violets are glorious

Never sneak up,
On oscar pistorious

Why is it impossible to sneak up on Santa?

He can always feel your presents.

Got thrown out of the theatre during the Superman movie...

... but I was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.

Two guys are out drinking late. One turns to the other and says "I'm going to hate going home. No matter how quietly I sneak into bed, my wife wakes up and starts nagging me". Other guy turns to him and says "I don't have that problem"

I come home, flip on the lights and yell "Honey! I'm home! Let's Fuck!" and she always pretends she's fast asleep.

A pair of twins have a deal...

They constantly get in trouble with the law for various reasons and are frequently thrown in jail. They don't like staying in jail for too long, so they made a deal: if only one of the twins is arrested and imprisoned, the other twin will sneak in and swap places with them when they have spent half the time served in prison.

It's great to see these twins are so close that they're always finish each other's sentences.

There's 3 chinese brothers...

Bu, Chu, and Fu and they want to illgally sneak into America. So they decide to change their names to sound more American. Bu, changes his to Buck. Chu, changes his to Chuck. And Fu, got sent back to China.

Two melons have a secret love affair...

One melon says to the other, "baby, I love you so much. I just wanna sneak away and get married right now."

The other responds, "no, we cantaloupe."

A koala wakes up next to a prostitute....

The koala tries to sneak out of the motel room before the prostitute wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of prostitute". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has sex for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: An animal who eats bushes and leaves'

Being in the recreation and natural resources field, I enjoy this every time I hear it

Due to the recent increase of encounters with grizzly and black bears in the area, all hikers should wear bells so you don't sneak up and startle nearby bears. Hikers should also carry pepper spray encase of an encounter. The two bears have different characteristics to their droppings and you can tell which is in the area. Black bear scat will be smaller and will have berries and squirrel fur in it. Grizzly scat will be larger, smell like pepper, and have bells in it.

Wrong Approach..

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says: "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says: "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?'... she never even stirs!"

Two married buddies are out drinking one night...

...when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a blowjob?' ... and she's always sound asleep."

The London Philharmonic is getting set up to play Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.

Everybody's practicing their parts, except for the bass players - they barely have any notes at all, just at the very beginning and the very end. So they hatch a plan: during the performance, they'll all sneak out and go to the pub for some brews. The lead bassist ties a string to the last page of the conductor's score, to alert them so they can get back in time.
Performance night rolls around, and the curtains roll up to a magnificent opening segment. The bassists duck behind the percussion and run to the nearest bar. They order a couple of drinks and joke to themselves about how ridiculous they look in tailed, double-breasted tuxedos when suddenly they are approached by a man dressed even more formally, wearing a crown and long gown. He introduces himself as the Count of Bavaria, a true regal fellow. Before they know it everybody is chatting it up and the Count orders a *huge* plate of nachos. This is a massive plate - big enough for three men - but the Count, he must be starving because he eats every last bite. The bassists are enjoying their drinks and starting to get a bit drunk, when they notice they've got to rush back... Meanwhile, back at the performance, the conductor has turned the last page. He sees the string, and it dawns on him: it's the bottom of the ninth, the bassists are loaded and the count is full.

I've been sneaking clay, sand and mortar into my housemate's food...

When they find out they'll shit bricks.

Two Guys Were At A Bar..

Two guys were at a bar when one man said to other ," Oh shit it's late. If I go home now my wife's gonna bitch at me. I do everything so quietly,too! I slowly pull my car into the driveway and turn it off. I open the door just a little so I can sneak through. I tip-toe my way up the stairs and quietly slip into bed with my wife, and she ALWAYS wake to yell at me." The second man say," Shit, you've been doing it all wrong. I slam on the breaks and skid onto the driveway. Kick open the door and turn on all the lights. Run up the stairs and jump into bed. Smack her ass and yell 'HEY HONEY HOW 'BOUT A BLOWJOB?'. And she doesn't even make a sound."

I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.

The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.

Make us even

Two good ol' boys in a Georgia trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Kia plant.

After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that
make us kin?"

The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would
make us even!"

Papa shark is teaching baby shark how to eat humans

"First you sneak up underneath, slowly make your way closer, you want to circle around the human about 3 or 4 times... and then BAAAAAAMMM"

Baby shark replies " but papa, why do I have to swim around him that many times, why can't I just swim right at him?"

Papa shark says "first you need to scare the shit out of him, trust me you don't want that aftertaste in your mouth"

[NSFW] A man has a pet duck...

The man tries to take his duck to go watch a movie

However, the theatre attendants forbid the man from taking his pet duck inside the cinema.

The man does not get discoraged and decides to sneak in his duck by placing it in his pants.

He successfully makes it inside the cinema with his duck and sits besides two women.

The man then remembers that the duck has to breathe and so he pulls down his pant's zipper so the duck may breathe .

Once the movie starts one of the women besides the man tells the other woman, "That man's *thing* is showing..."

To this the other woman replies , "What's the matter? Have you not seen one before?"

The other woman answered, "Yes, but this one is eating my popcorn!"

Dead Rabbit

So this actually was a story told by a friend of mine but I thought it would make a hilarious joke so here it goes:
So a man steps outside into his backyard to play with his dog, when the dog comes up to him with a dead bunny rabbit in its mouth. Realizing that his neighbor has a pet bunny, but not wanting to inform him that his dog has just killed it, he decides to sneak into their backyard and place the dead bunny back into its cage.
A few days later the man bumps into his neighbor and asks how he is doing, to which the neighbor replies "you will not believe what was done to us. Some asshole dug up our dead bunny and put him back in his cage"

A Kiwi and an Aussie are fishing one afternoon and have a couple of cold beers

After a while the Kiwi says to the Aussie, "If I was to sneak over to your house and make wild passionate love to your wife while you were at work, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?" The Aussie after a great deal of thought, says, "I don't know about related, but it sure would make us even."

The Hippy and the Nun.

So there's a hippy that rides the same bus at the same time every day. And every day a beautiful nun rides the bus too. The hippy would go on and on to the driver about how he would love to fuck her brains out.

One day the bus driver passes on a little piece of advice. "Hey, I know how you can get with her. Every Sunday night she goes to the graveyard and cries over the children's graves. If you sneak in, dress up like God and demand sex, she'll totally fall for it."

The hippy pondered this a little and thought this might actually work. So that Sunday night the hippy sneaks into the graveyard dressed up like God. Sure enough, the nun arrives and weeps over the graves.

The hippy jumps out from behind a tree and proclaims "I am God and I demand that you have sex with me!". The nun, visibly shaken, agrees under one condition. She would only take anal so as to preserve her virginity.

The hippy goes at it, plowing her in the pooper. When he was finished, he ripped off his God costume and says "Ha ha! I'm the hippy from the bus!"

The nun rips off her costume and says "Ha ha! I'm the bus driver!"

I told my girlfriend that we could either see a movie or have sex

She said the movie was closed and she was on her period, so I decided to sneak in through the rear entrance

Three mice are sitting at a bar...

Arguing about which one is the most bad ass mouse. The first one says. "You know those traps with the cheese? I can sneak the cheese out without setting them off." As he munches on a piece. The second mouse says. "Man you ain't shit! You know those poison pellets they set out to kill us? They don't do shit to me." Pulls one out and crushes it on the bar and snorts it all in one go. The third mouse shakes his head and says. "Y'all are both some little bitches, I'm Fucking the cat!"

Why can't a porn star sneak up on anyone?

Because everyone sees them coming

Koala bears are smart

A koala bear picks up a prostitute and after tries to sneak out of the motel room before the prostitute wakes up. As he opens the door, the protitute wakes up and says "where do you think you're going? You haven't paid me yet". The koala is confused and refuses to pay, so the protitute says "let's look in a dictionary for the definition of prostitute". The two proceed to look up the definition to find that it is 'someone who has sex for money'. The Koala then flips a few pages back to the definition of koala, then walks out of the room. Confused, the protitute looks down at the page. The dictionary says 'Koala: A furry little animal from Australia who eats bush and leaves'

Three men sneak into a barn

They are forced to sleep on the same haystack. The morning after, the dude on the left says, "I had a dream that I was getting the best handjob!" The dude on the right says, "Holy shit, I had the same dream!" The dude in the middle goes,"I dreamt that I was skiing."

Can anyone help me remember a joke?

My father used to tell it. It involves 2 Congolese soldiers who decide to sneak out of camp one night. They steal a sergeant's decorations and head to town, pretending to be sergeants, where they meet a French prostitute who gives them syphilis. I don't remember the punchline or anything else about it.

Two men were walking past a bakery...

One says, "watch this"; he proceeds to slide in, sneak three buns into his pockets and, having pilfered them, exits to his friend.

His friend says "that's nothing, I can get the same result with a far more honest method."

He approaches the bakery owner and says "do you want to see a magic trick my friend?"

Intrigued, the owner complies and asks what the trick is.

"I'll need a bun from your store"

The baker hands it to him, he proceeds to eat this. He does this with two more buns.

Eventually the baker asks "what's the trick mate?"

Just look in my friend's pocket…

When I was younger I used to sneak out of home to go parties.

Now I sneak out of parties to go home

A sneaky question in a Police interrogation.

Investigator: "Now there's a couple of things I want to know; who's the murderer and what's the square root of -1?"

Suspect: "It is i."

Investigator: "Gotcha bitch!"

How does a blackjack dealer sneak about?

He shuffles a round.

People call me an idiot because I like to sneak up behind horses just to scare them.

But I get a kick out of it.

Why do sneaky rogues wear leather armor?

Because it's made of hide.

A young tourist was attempting to sneak a quart of tequila...

...back from Mexico when the border guard stopped him and asked what was in the bottle.

"Holy water from the shrine of the Virgin Mary" replied the man.

The border guard opened the bottle, took a sip exclaimed , "This is tequila"

"My heavens!" Gasped the man. "Another miracle!"

How's a fart and a teenager alike?

Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious

Don't sneak up on,
Oscar Pristorius

What's the best way to sneak cheat notes into an exam without getting caught?

Memorise them.

What does Thor do to sneak around and avoid being noticed?

He stays Loki.

What do you call a pig sneak attack?

A Hambush.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead escape from their cells on a prison island...

... They sneak past the guards and make it to the shoreline. The mainland is a kilometre away, through dangerous waters.


The brunette, being the bravest, leaves first. She swims as hard as she can, but after only a few hundred meters she becomes exhausted and drowns.


The redhead leaves second. She is smarter and swims more slowly, but just as she passed half way a shark eats her.


The blonde, a natural athlete, embarks on her perilous swim. Miraculously, she avoids all sharks and swims until she is only 50m from the shoreline!
Exhausted, she says, "It's too far, I can't make it!", and swims back.

Why should you sneak in a leather coat?

Because it's made of hide

I have no idea who invented ballet dancing

but I'm willing to bet good money it was a guy trying to sneak back into bed after coming home pissed from a bar

How do you catch an elephant?

You dig a pit, fill it with ash, and surround it with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, you sneak up behind him and kick him in the ash hole.

1999: kidss sneak out to drink

2009: kids sneak out to smoke weed
2019: kids sneak out to get vaccinated

NEVER fight a cougar

Just give her a fake name and sneak her out in the morning

You know, studies show that keeping a ladder inside the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.

That's why I own ten guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in a ladder!

^(Source: Gravity Falls. Can't find a good clip of the moment)

A man sits down next to a lady reading a newspaper by the window on a bus...

He can't help himself and has to fart so he does his best to sneak it out. He glances over and she doesn't seem to notice. Relieved, he decides to attempt light conversation.

"Are you done with that newspaper?" he asked.

She replied "No, but next tree we pass, I'll grab you some leaves".

As my son tried to sneak in the house late last night

I shouted: "Come in here boy, let me smell your fingers."

"I tell you every time Dad, I don't smoke" he said, "I've been over the park with my girlfriend."

"I know, son" I replied, sniffing deeply, "I know."

Jim was interrogated by the police Officer

This was concerning an injured man with a fractured skull.

Officer: Why was the man hurt?

Jim: He was trespassing on my property!

Officer: That does not explain why he was injured?

Jim: That guy's a thief! I found him in the garden trying to sneak into my house!

Officer: Yes... We already know that much...what we want to know is how he got that fractured skull.

Jim: He was obviously trying to steal my personal property.

Officer: Okay look sir, we are not going to release you until we get answers. Cut to the chase and answer the damn question. What did you do to him?

Jim: Okok I'm sorry, I was just beating around the bush.

Why were the sneakers so sad?

Because they had ten issues.

How do you date a building?

Slip it a roofie and sneak in the back door.

Three dudes sneak into a barn NSFW

and they're fo***d to sleep on the same haystack. The morning after, the dude on the left says, "I had a dream that I was getting the best handjob!" The dude on the right says, "Holy shit, I had the same dream!" The dude in the middle goes,"I dreamt that I was skiing."

A few puns I thought of while trying not to get out of bed

What did the Alabama sister say to her sibling?

"Cum at me bro".

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Why did the wild fowl sneak into the girls washroom?

He was a peeking duck

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What did the fruit farmer say when asked about his crops?

"It's bananas"

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What is the hydraulic press's favorite vegetable?

"Squash"

(I also ask this of my gf right before I climb on top of her. It's great)

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How come the league of legends player started playing horribly after they had a baby?

"They're feeding"

My girlfriend tried to sneak leafy greens into another country on our vacation...

...I thought customs was gonna Caeser salad, but they let it romaine.

What are the funniest sneak jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Sneak? Well, here are the best Sneak puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Sneak pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes