Snatched Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed..

... in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible.

Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.
As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting left and right.

Curious, his wife asked, "What are you doing, honey?"
"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

Before I could take a drink of my milk, my dad snatched the glass from in front of me, held it just to the side of my head and slowly moved it from one side of my face to the other. There, it's safe to drink now , he said....

It's been past your eyes

He's been gone for almost 20 years, and I still remember the dad jokes like they were perfectly executed yesterday.

Looking for A Way Out

A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.

As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting left and right. Curious, his wife asked, "What are you doing, honey?"

"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

I was travelling in a train when I heard an announcement on PA.

The announcement was "If you observe anything or anyone looking suspicious or dangerous, please report to us at 555-5555."

At that time I looked over at the female passenger seating besides me. Then I remove my phone and dialed the number 555-5555. She started looking at me suspiciously.

As soon as the line connected, I said,"Hello, I want report a suspicious looking female who is seating next to me. She seems to be dangerous as well."



At that point, the suspicious and dangerous looking female snatched my phone and shouts ,"Stop doing that John. I am your wife!".

Loch Ness

An atheist is walking along the bank of Loch Ness, suddenly, out of the depths appears Nessie.

She snatched the athiest up in her jaws and threw her head back, throwing the atheist up in the air. Just before he was about to fall into Nessie's jaws he cries out :


"Oh god help me!"


Amazingly, time froze and God appeared next to the atheistand God asked:

"My son, all your life you have forsaken me, why now do you call upon me?"

The atheist responded with: "Give me a break, I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster five minutes ago either!"

What are the funniest snatched jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Snatched? Well, here are the best Snatched puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Snatched pick up lines to share with friends.

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