Snaps Jokes

88 snaps jokes and hilarious snaps puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about snaps that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the best snaps jokes from a variety of sources, including snaps books, yells, snappy comebacks, and bolts. Get ready for some of the funniest jokes on the web!

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Funniest Snaps Short Jokes

Short snaps jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snaps humour may include short snapped jokes also.

  1. Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared. Apparently only DC movies can do that.
  2. I hope they serve cookies at the Royal Wedding this weekend Just to show how a touch of brown sugar makes a ginger snap.
  3. Oxygen, Hydrogen, Sulfur, Sodium, and Phosphorus walk into a bar. The bartender says: "OH SNaP"
  4. Your momma so fat It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.
  5. Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, *Use the fork, Luke.*
  6. My friend has been terribly depressed since he went bungy jumping and the cord snapped. He just hasn't bounced back.
  7. Older lady in the bus snaps at a guy with a dog... Please get that thing away from me. I can feel flees on my legs.
    Dog owner to dog: Rex move away, the lady has flees
  8. My roommate has been stealing my stuff recently. I did a good job at ignoring it, until he stole the only drinking utensil I had left. I finally snapped and yelled That's the last straw!
  9. Thanos would have made a great President. He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.
  10. I once knew this annoying couple that would show everyone they met a picture of their kid. One day I snapped and told them... "It's been 2 years. You're never going to find him."

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Snaps One Liners

Which snaps one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snaps? I can suggest the ones about oh snap and snapping fingers.

  1. Yo mama so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
  2. What happens when you provoke an angry redhead? Ginger snaps.
  3. What do you call it when a redhead goes nuts? A ginger snap.
  4. Why was 6 afraid of 11? Because 11 snaps people's necks with her mind.
  5. Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition) Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
  6. My ex-wife's nickname is Thanos Cuz she snapped and now half my stuff is gone.
  7. Oxygen, helium, sulphur, sodium and phosphorus walk in to a bar... OH SNaP
  8. What did Groot say after the snap? I am mulch.
  9. Tom Brady has 6 rings... ... and now he can destroy half the NFL with one snap
  11. What snapped harder than Thanos' finger? Gwen stacy's neck
  12. In Avengers: Infinity War, Thanos absolutely went crazy. He snapped.
  13. Did you see the new Avengers movie? It was over in a snap
  14. What part of the body hurts the most when it snaps? Thanos
  15. If Eminem had the infinity gaulent.... He could actually snap back into reality

Ginger Snaps Jokes

Here is a list of funny ginger snaps jokes and even better ginger snaps puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is it called when a person with red hair and freckles gets angry for no reason? Ginger-snap!
  • So...if a redhead goes crazy... Is it called a ginger snap?
  • How do you make a ginger snap? Call them "carrot top"
  • Why are red heads never calm? Because it's so easy to make a ginger snap.
  • When Redheads go crazy... Is it called a ginger snap?
  • Why did Ginger go to the psych ward? Ginger snaps
  • When a red head goes crazy... Its a ginger snap.
  • How do you make a Royal Ginger Snap With a little brown sugar
  • What do you call a room full of redheads listening to poetry readings? Ginger snaps
  • What do you call a redhead when they get mad? Ginger snaps

Snaps Yo Mama Jokes

Here is a list of funny snaps yo mama jokes and even better snaps yo mama puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • my from 10y daughter. so proud! Yo mama is so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven!
    Yo mama is so fat, when Thanos snapped his fingers, only half of her dissappeared!
  • My mom told me this Yo mama so fat Thanos took two snaps to kill her
  • Yo mama so fat That she's still here even after Thanos snapped thrice
  • Yo mama is so fat That when Thanos snapped even he disappeared and she was the sole survivor
  • Yo Mama So Fat When Thanos snapped, it just took her.
    Perfectly balanced
  • Yo mama's so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, she lost half her weight.
  • Yo mama so fat Thanks snapped his fingers, and no one else but your mom dissapered
  • Yo mama so fat When Thanos snapped his fingers, SHE was the 50% that lived
Snaps joke, Yo mama so fat

Snaps joke, Yo mama so fat

Amusing & Witty Snaps Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about snaps you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ginger snap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snaps pranks.

A man was having s**... with his wife one night...

"Deeper... deeper..." she moaned.
The man, not having finished, pulls out and starts getting dressed. The woman is surprised and asks "What's wrong baby?"
The man snaps back, "Deeper, deeper?! How about I coo in your ear tighter, tighter!

Back in the days of the USSR, two men stood in a block-long line for cucumbers...

Suddenly one of them snaps, and yells "This is an outrage! Waiting for hours for a couple of lousy cucumbers! I'm going to the Kremlin to assassinate the fools responsible for this!" and stomps off. A couple hours later, he's back.
One of the other people in line asks "Did you kill the guy in the Kremlin?"
The first guy responds "You think *this* line is long?"

A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar...

The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, "Beat it, guys!" "We don't serve food!"

An eccentric professor brings a cloning machine into class to illustrate a difficult concept...

One student, gesturing to the demonstration, decides to reach out to his overachieving friend.
"I just don't understand what that thing does."
His friend, clearly bothered by the situation, snaps back, "that makes two of us!"

The English and the Scots.

A Englishman and a Scot are walking along the beach when the Englishman kicks over a lamp and a genie appears. He grants them one wish each. The Englishman says "I wish a hundred foot tall and 100 feet wide wall surrounded England, and no-one can get in or out." The genie snaps his fingers and says "It is done." He then turns to the Scot, who says "Fill it with water."

Old Soviet joke

People are waiting in a long line like to buy v**.... Finally one alcoholic snaps and screams - 'I can't take it, I'll go kill Gorbachev!' And leaves the store. 10 minutes later he come back and says. 'The line to kill Gorbachev is even longer.'

This feels like it could be a comedy bit, for how different leaders would solve the issue:

Obama: snaps the cookie in half
Putin: Forces the cookie in the glass
Kim Jong-Un: Cookie baker and glass maker are put to death
David Cameron: pours some milk onto the cookie. Doesn't work very well, spills milk. Written into policy anyway.
Someone else: Eats the cookie, then drinks the milk
etc. I don't know enough about politics to make this topical.

Whats the resemblance between a p**... and bungee jumping?

You enjoy them both untill the rubber snaps.

My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant.

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, Use the forks, Luke.

You know you're in for a rough Prostate Exam...

...when you get into "position" and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the "safe word"

Two Irishmen were fishing in a lake...

...when one of them caught a strange-looking lamp. After pulling it off his line, a genie appeared and said, "None of this three wishes nonsense. You get one wish between the two of you, so you better make it good."
The man who caught the lamp blurts out, "I wish every lake, ocean, and river on Earth were made entirely out of beer!"
The genie snaps his fingers and says, "Done." and then disappears.
The other fisherman smacks his partner across his face and says, "You idiot! Now we have to pee in the boat!".

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or j**...".
"j**...!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

What's common between a bungee jumper and a h**...?

If the rubber snaps, you're s**...

A girl with a peg leg goes to her high school dance...

And she is slowly walking around, sad that nobody wanted to dance with her. Right before she was about to leave a boy with a wooden eye walks up and asks her to dance. To which she replies
"Would I! Would I!"
The boy is angered anD snaps back at her.
"Peg Leg! Peg Leg!

The doctor asks "Would you like to see the Misscarriage"?

"Of course I want to see my daughter," snaps Mr. Carriage.

So h**... decides to go see a psychic...

...and the psychic tells him that he will die on the day of a Jewish holiday. h**..., obviously distraught, demands the psychic tell him more, and tries to coerce him into giving more details in hopes that he can somehow prevent it.
After much back and forth, the psychic finally snaps in impatience and says, "Well, whatever the day you die is going to be a Jewish holiday anyway,".

10-inch BIC

Two guys are out fishing on a boat when one of them wants to have a smoke.
1: You got a lighter?
2: Yes. *pulls out a 10 inch long BIC lighter*
1: Woah, where'd you get that!?
2: I have a personal genie.
1: Cool! Can I make a wish?
2: Sure, just be very clear, he's a bit hard of hearing. *Summons genie*
1: I wish for a million bucks!
*The genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks fly overhead.*
1: Wow, your genie really s**... at hearing.
2: I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC?

A man and a small boy are walking into the woods as it is getting dark.

The little boy says to the man. "Gee, I'm really scared". The man turns around and snaps back at the little boy and says, "you, you, you. It's all about you. What about me? I've got to walk back out of these woods alone"

A cat and a mouse go to heaven

A cat and a mouse got to heaven, after a bit God goes to the mouse and asks "how do you like it up here?" The mouse replies "it's fine but I have a hard time getting around", God then snaps his fingers and gives the mouse a pair a wheels to roll around on. A little later God then goes to the cat and asks "how do you like it up here?" The cat replies "Oh I love it! I never had meals on wheels like this before!"

A drill seargant walks up to a recruit

and asks, "Private! Do you have change for a 20?"
"Sure buddy", replies the private, reaching into his pocket.
"Thats no way to speak to a superior officer!" Bellows the seargant,"Lets try again!Private! Do you have change for a 20?!"
The private snaps to attention and replies "Sir! No sir!"

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.''

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he insists.''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.''Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?''The wife snaps, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Mother goes to abortin clinic

Doctor: *snaps*
Fetis: "I don't feels so good..."

Thanos appears in the Universe of Steven Universe

He snaps his fingers and half of Steven is gone.

The only thing scarier than Thanos is a sassy gay Thanos

*Snaps in a Z formation*

I'm starting a petition for every wife considering divorce to be legally renamed Thanos.

It's only fitting, given that the moment one snaps, half the money disappears

Yo mamma's so fat it took Thanos 2 snaps.

What snaps, crackles and pops when you throw them on the ground?

The elderly.

Why is hot friendlier than cold?

Because heat waves but cold snaps.

Thanos : snaps away the half of the population of the universe .

Hawkeye : decides to kill some more .

Two Scientists walk into a bar

Bartender comes around
The bartender: What will you be having?
Scientist 1: I'll have some H20
The bartender hands him a glass of water
The bartender: And you?
Scientist 2: I'll have some H20 also
Scientist 2's arch nemesis disguised as the bartender: -Snaps finger- So close

A landscaper is adding a bunch of sand along the edge of a pond...

He looks at the guy who owns the pond and asks "do you really want me doing this?"
The man snaps back, "YES! JUST KEEP WORKING!"
The landscaper replies "ok! Jeez! I'm just makin' shore!"

When Thanos snaps...

Avengers: Oh no, he did it he managed to get rid of half the universe we did not stop him there is no hope. We are in Endgame now.
Karen: ThE VaCCinEs TurNEd My KIdS tO DuSt !!!!!

Red my mind

I made an off-color joke to my friend the other day and one of my friends didn't get it. Then after some thinking I remembered *snaps* he's color blind.

A Roman centurian walks into a bar

And says to the barman "I'd like a Martinus, please"
The barman says "don't you mean a Martini?"
And the centurion snaps "if I wanted a double I would have asked for one"

A chef asks an employee to grab him some cilantro

He quickly grabs the herb and returns to his boss. When he returns the chef is busy doing something and can't take the cilantro right away.
Give me a second, he says
Take your time, the employee responds patiently.
The chef snaps back I told you to give me a second! Also I asked for cilantro!

A man finds a magical lamp.

He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, "What is your first wish?" The man says, "I wish I were rich!" The genie snaps his fingers and replies, "Your wish has been granted! What is your second wish, Rich?"

A woman walks into a bar

She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.
The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.
He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"

Two caterpillars are escaping a spider. They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped. "Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but...

...he grabs two protruding twigs and uses them to steer the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
"That's amazing!!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the h**... are you doing that?!"
The first caterpillar scoffs.
"Am I the only one in the whole d**... forest who knows how to drive a stick!?"

A preacher is warning sinners in the high street

"The end is nigh!" He shouts at passers-by. And a guy shouts back at him "Nigh!!"
This puts him off a bit, but he carries on. "Be warned al you sinners, for the end is nigh!". And again the guy behind him shouts "Nigh!!" even louder.
This carries on all day until the preacher snaps at the guy angrily, "why do you keep repeating me whenever I say nigh?"
And the guy replies, "well, it says in the bible doesn't it, a nigh for a nigh"

Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a small branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.
"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.
"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How are you doing that?!"
The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the *only one* in the whole d**... forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

Quasimodo is about to ring the bell for 3pm when the rope snaps.

He knows he has to ring it but doesn't know how. Then he has an idea. He takes a big run up and uses his face to ring it. Bloodied and cut he does it again. Battered and bruised he does it one more time, but the bell swings back and knocks him off the tower down to the floor below.
Lying dead in a b**... heap, he's surrounded by towns people. o**... says "who's that?"
His pal said "I don't know, but his face rings a bell."

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents.

A man notices two women sitting at the bar who have heavy accents. He approaches them and says, "By any chance, are you two ladies from Ireland?" "It's Wales, you idiot," one snaps back at him. "Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "Are you two whales from Ireland?

A r**... woman goes into a store to get a new washing machine

The salesman, eager to score some commission, snaps into his pitch with a broad smile; "We can load it up and send it over to your house today, and you won't pay anything for six months!"
The woman suddenly gets angry and says, "Who the h**... told you about me?!"

Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat

in a high-end department store. Do you realize, Sarah says, that some poor, dumb animal had to suffer just for you to wear that coat? Sarah's mother turns to her and snaps, Think about how much I've suffered! And don't call your father an animal.

Snaps joke, Sarah watches as her mother tries on an expensive fur coat

jokes about snaps