The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."
A Οthon
Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all
*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*
Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads
And the bartender says ''How did you do that?''
So some bloke rang him up and said is it massive
Kevin replies huge
Then the bloke says how many feet
Kevin says none its a snake you twat
ΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓΓ....
Feminist snake: \*herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr\*
Baa-Dumm-Tsss
Baa- dum- ssss
GOD: So how many animals do I have left to make?
ANGEL: Two.
GOD: And how many legs do I have left?
ANGEL: One hundred.
CENTIPEDE: Dibs!
SNAKE: You asshole.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves
Looks like the boa cons tricked her
I think he's suffering from a reptile dysfunction
Bah dum tss!
Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.
"Do it," I said. "But it might hurt you."
"I know," she replied. "But it's only a needle."
"No," I said. "I mean being single."
A Οthon
*Baah Dum Tssssss*
Me: No, this snake is not poisonous at all.
* one of them picks up the snake, which bites him. He begins to spasm and foam at the mouth.*
Me: However, this snake is very venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time.
A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.
So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.
The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.
A Οthon
"I put an ad on Craigslist today trying to sell my pet python," he tells the bartender. "Is it big?" the bartender asks. "It's freakin' huge!" the guy replies. "How many feet?" the bartender asks. "None you idiot," the guy replies. "It's a snake."
God: how many animals do we have left?
Angel: 2
God: and how many legs do we have left?
Angel: 100
Centipede: DIBS!
Snake: Fuck you, asshole
HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTERICAL
^^^my ^^^son ^^^^told ^^^^^me ^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^one..
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2017 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
He wanted to be a windshield viper.
Angel: 2
God: and how many legs do we have left?
Angel: 100
Centipede: dibs!
Snake: asshole
Leeroy and Jimmy are working out in the fields. Leeroy goes to take a piss and gets bitten by a snake on his penis. Jimmy runs for help. He can't find a doctor but a citizen tells him to suck the poison out with his mouth. Jimmy runs back to his friend. "Leeroy, you're going to die!"
A civil Serpent
Because they have a reptile dysfunction.
Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.
Bubba and Jimbob are in the swamp fishing when they scare a snake which bites Bubba on the tip of his penis.
Jimbob quickly calls his dr to see what to do. The dr tells Jimbob to lance the bite and suck out the venom. he goes back to Bubba with a worried look on his face...
Bubba asks him "quick... what did the doc say ?"
Jimbob looks him in the eye, and as a single tear escapes he says "doc says you're gonna die!"
Feminist Snake: "herrrrrrr"
Baa Dum Tss
A "Pi-thon"
A reptile dysfunction.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Snake? Well, here are the best Snake dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Snake pick up lines to share with friends.