The Best 19 Snake Bite Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Snake Bite jokes. There are some snake bite jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these snake bite puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Snake Bite Jokes and Puns

A boy scout says to his scout leader, "Sir, is this snake poisonous?" The scout leader says, "No, that snake's not poisonous at all." So the boy picks up the snake, which bites him and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror...

The scout leader says, "But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys."

Boy scout: Sir, I found a snake, is it poisonous?

Me: No little one, this snake isn't poisonous at all

*Snake bites boy and boy immediately starts to spasm and foam at the mouth, leaving the other kids watching, horrified*

Me: However, this snake is venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time lads

Boy Scout: Sir, the lads and I found a snake. Is it poisonous?

Me: No, this snake is not poisonous at all.

* one of them picks up the snake, which bites him. He begins to spasm and foam at the mouth.*

Me: However, this snake is very venomous. Venom is always injected, poison is ingested or absorbed through the skin. Let's get it right next time.

No, that snake's not poisonous at all.

A boy scout says to his scout leader, Sir, is this snake poisonous?
The scout leader says, No, that snake's not poisonous at all.

So the boy picks up the snake which bites him, and the boy starts to spasm and foam at the mouth as the other kids look on in horror.

The scout leader says, But that snake is venomous. Poison is ingested or absorbed, while venom is injected. Let's get it right next time, boys.

I was fishing when I ran out of bait. I saw a small snake nearby trying to swallow a frog and knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket...

Now, the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit, so I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp.

I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot.

It was that snake, with two more frogs...


My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.

As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.

Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.

Why don't snakes ever bite lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

Two hunters are in a forest when, all of sudden, a venomous snake jumps and bites one of them in the groin.

His friend, desperate, calls 911.

"Help me! My friend got bitten by a snake!"

"Calm down, sir! First of all, you must find the location of the bite and suck the poison out. Can you do that?"

"Gotcha."

The bitten friend asks: "So? What did they say?"

"They said you'll die, dude."

LPT: To prevent a snake from biting, grasp their tail firmly and shake vigorously

Since snakes don't have hands, the snake will think that you are a businessman and that he is a business snake, and you are about to make a handshake deal.

Why won't a snake bite a lawyer?

Professional courtesy.

Snake bite

Two hunters go out into the woods and one of them gets bitten by a snake, collapses and stops breathing. The other hunter quickly calls emergency services and says "You have to help me, my friend just got bitten by a snake and died." The operator says "OK, calm down. First, make sure he is dead." The phone goes silent for a bit, followed by the sound of a gun shot. The hunter goes back to the phone and says to the operator "Ok, now what?"

You can explore snake bite reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean snake bite dad jokes. There are also snake bite puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The difference between venomous snake, poisonous snake, and toxic snake

A venomous snake kills you when it bites you.
A poisonous snake kills you when you eat it.
A toxic snake kills you with negative emotions.

A student is going through some hypotheticals about snakes to their biology teacher

student:"What if it bites me and it dies?"

Teacher:"that means you're poisonous."

Student:"What if it bites itself and I die?"

Teacher:"It's voodoo."

Student:"What if it bites me and someone else dies?"

Teacher:"That's correlation, not causation."

Student:"what if we bite each other and neither of us die?"

Teacher:"that's kinky."

Bill and Bob go hunting. They split up, and Bob soon finds Bill with a snake bite in his neck.

Bob calls 911, and says I went hunting with my friend and I just found him dead with a snake bite on his neck! 911 says Ok, first let's make sure he's dead . A gunshot is heard. Bob says, Ok, now what?

Did you know cat's are impervious to most rattle snake bites?

Said every dog ever.

Two snakes are slithering through the desert....

One named Fred, and one named Henry.
Henry turns to Fred and says: Fred, are we the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction or we the kind of sssssnake that kill with a deadly venomousssss bite?
Fred thinks about it for a second and reply's Henry, we are the kind of sssssnakes that kill by consssstriction.
Henry say oh thank God for that, I just bit my lip.

A man is walking through the forest when get gets bitten by a snake

He looks down and yells

"Did you seriously just bite me!"

and the snake replies

/s^(/s/s/s/s/s/s/s)

Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?

Because it'll come back to bite you.

In India a man was bitten by a snake as he tried to take a '

selfie'. How the snake managed to bite the man and hold a phone simultaneously is a mystery.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the snake bite jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working snake bite piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes