The Best 61 Snail Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Snail jokes. There are some snail mollusk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these snail shell puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Snail Jokes and Puns
Snail Racing
My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish
Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects
for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"
Why did the snail paint an S on the back of his car?
So when he drove by people would say, "Hey, look at that S car go!"
How do you make a racing snail faster?
I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
A man is sitting in his house watching tv
when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and a small snail is at the door.
The man picks up the snail and throws it as far as possible.
three years later later, the man is sitting in his house watching tv when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and it's the same snail!
The snail says "What the heck was that for?!"
My 5 year old told me this.
What did the snail say while on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A snail walks into a car dealership...
And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"
I bought myself a snail to race other snails..
I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster.
If anything it just made it more sluggish
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the nude carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
I removed the shell from my pet snail...
because I thought it would move around quicker. Now it's just really sluggish
You can explore snail slug reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean snail tortoise dad jokes. There are also snail puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell...
It only made it more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail...
... thinking it would make it go faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish.
A snail gets mugged
A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."
Racing snail.
My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
Two turtles collide in an intersection.
When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."
I removed the shell of my racing snail to make it go faster.
But it just made it more sluggish.
Mark and his friend Michelle
go to a costume party. When they show up Michelle is clinging to Mark's back. Someone greets them and asks what they're supposed to be. Mark says that he's a snail. The other guy asks "who's on your back?" Mark replies "Michelle"
Halloween Joke
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.
I wanted to make my racing snail faster..
So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to speed it up.
If anything it made it more sluggish.
I used to own a racing snail...
It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish
I had a racing snail...
To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
Two turtles had a collision at an intersection. .
The only witness was a snail. When interviewed by police the snail explained he didnt see anything as it all happened so fast.
How does a snail win a race?
It runs against Hillary.
I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster
Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail, hoping it would make him faster.
But, unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
Why don't snails use the internet?
Salt is bad for their health.
Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster...
If anything he seems more sluggish!
A guy goes to a halloween party with a girl on his back.
The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"
I stepped on snail once as a child.
I guess it was my first crush.
I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster...
Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.
You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell,
But it's actually more sluggish...
Took The Shell Off Of My Racing Snail,
I Thought He Would Go Faster But It Only Made Him 'Sluggish'.
A guy wanted to speed up his snail - so he took it's shell off.
if anything, he made it more sluggish.
I used to have a a racing snail that kept losing.
I decided to remove its shell to try and speed it up, if anything it made it more sluggish.
I wanted to help my pet snail.
He was really slow like, so one day I took off his shell, thought it'd make him more streamlined. Turns out it didn't. It made him more sluggish.
I removed the shell from my racing snail to help him go faster
If anything , it made him more sluggish
A snail thought taking off his shell would make him faster...
But it just made him more *sluggish*
I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster
...if anything, it made him more sluggish
Little snail was beaten up by the turtles...
The snail's father asked him: "What happened?"
"I don't know... It all happened so fast..."
I removed the shell from my racing snail thinking he'd be faster..
He's actually more sluggish now.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don't have fast food.
What do you do if you see two snails fighting
Nothing, just let them slug it out
It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you
him: Knock knock
me: Who's there?
him: A snail
me: a snail who?
him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why
A snail walks into a car dealership...
A snail walks into a car dealership. The snail wants something fast, elegant, and luxurious, after browsing multiple brands he decides on one.
The rich snail pays in cash and walks up to the dealerships salesman and says "I want you to paint big S's all along this car, big S's on the front, the sides, the back, the top, big S's everywhere. The auto body guy tells him he can do it, but can't help but ask the snail why he wants big S's all over the car.
So the snail answers him "It's simple: When I launch past people on the highway they will say Look at that S car go!
You would think that a snail without a shell would move a bit faster...
But it's actually more sluggish.
Snail joke (oldie but goodie)
A snail walks into a bar, hops up on the bar stool
and orders a Jack & Coke. The bartender says sorry no snails allowed here ....and the bartender kicks out the snail.
2 weeks later the snail finally re-enters the bar again and asks: what the f*ck did you do that for ?
Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?
She loves this one:
A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".
A snail went to the police station
A snail went to the police station to report that he had been mugged
When he got to the front desk he said
excuse me officer but I have been mugged by 2 tortoises
The officer said
can you describe the incident
The snail said
no officer sorry , it happened so fast
Three snails were drinking at a bar. One of the snails got up to buy chewing gum at the store. He asked his snail friends if they wanted some gum too. They said yes.
3 years passed. One of the snail friends said he still hasn't returned, we might as well drink his beer . Suddenly a voice from the door yelled, if you touch my beer, I won't be buying you guys any chewing gum! .
A man is sitting at home…
when he hears a knock at his door. He opens the door and there's no one there- cranes his neck to look and see if anyone is hiding he looks left and right- nothing.
As he's about to close the door- he looks down and sees a snail. He shrugs his shoulders and flicks the snail across his yard.
2 years go by
The same man is at home and there's a knock at the door.
He opens the door and a snail says, Hey! Whatcha do that for?
What did the snail say as it rode on the turtle's back?
WEEEEEEEEE!
I removed the shell from a snail to see if it would make him move any faster.
It didn't work. If anything, now he's even more sluggish.
If you think snails would be faster without the shell, you're wrong...
They would just be more sluggish.
\- cr
What do you call the soul of a snail?
An escarghost.
My racing snail was too slow, so I tried removing his shell to speed him up
It made him even more sluggish
A snail, who was tired of being slow, went and bought a sports car with a big S on each side
Whenever people saw him zooming past, they would say, Hey, look at that S-Car Go
You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell
It's actually more sluggish
What did the Snail say when it rode on the Turtles back?
Wheeeeeeee!!!!
How do snails fight?
They slug it out
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the snail escargot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working snail car piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.