Snail Jokes
160 snail jokes and hilarious snail puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about snail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a few laughs? Check out these hilarious snail jokes from the famous Slowpoke, Snailor, and Tim Pearce. From slugs to snails, these puns will have you chuckling in no time. Enjoy a good laugh with these creative and clever snail jokes!
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Funniest Snail Short Jokes
Short snail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The snail humour may include short snipe jokes also.
- Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he's dressed up as and he responds I'm a snail! That's M'shell on my back
- I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish.
- I entered a my pet snail into a race and removed its shell thinking it would make it faster... Unfortunately, it only made it more sluggish.
- I removed the shell from my racing snail. I thought it would make it faster, but if anything it's more sluggish.
- I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish.
- I wanted to make my racing snail faster.. So I took off its shell. If anything it became a lot more sluggish.
- You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell, But it's actually more sluggish...
- I used to own a racing snail... It never won though. To improve its performance I removed its shell but, if anything, it made it more sluggish
- How do you make a racing snail faster? I tried taking his shell off but it only made him more sluggish.
- I took the shell off of my pet snail because I thought it would make him move faster ...if anything, it made him more sluggish
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Snail One Liners
Which snail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with snail? I can suggest the ones about sloth and lizard.
- What do you call a snail without a shell? Less Cargo.
- Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food.
- Why do they eat snail in France? Because they don't have fast food.
- Why do the French like to eat snails so much? They can't stand fast food
- I stepped on snail once as a child. I guess it was my first crush.
- How does a snail win a race? It runs against Hillary.
- Never remove the shells from racing snails it makes them sluggish
- What did the snail say as it rode on the turtle's back? WEEEEEEEEE!
- What do you do if you see two snails fighting Nothing, just let them slug it out
- What do you call a snail aboard a ship? A snailor.
- What do you call a snail's luggage? Its cargo
- What's a snail's favorite activity on the first day of spring? Slow-motion gardening!
- I'm currently studying snails and slugs. It's safe to say I'm a slow learner.
- French people eat snails, cause they don't like FAST FOOD.
- You'd think a snail would be faster without it's shell It's actually more sluggish
Snail Shell Jokes
Here is a list of funny snail shell jokes and even better snail shell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I removed the shell from my racing snail thinking he'd be faster.. He's actually more sluggish now.
- Today I decided to take the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him move faster... If anything he seems more sluggish!
- I had a racing snail... To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish
- Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish
- I used to have a a racing snail that kept losing. I decided to remove its shell to try and speed it up, if anything it made it more sluggish.
- I thought my snail's shell was weighing him down, but after I removed it he appeared even more sluggish.
- I took the shell off my racing snail, hoping it would make him faster. But, unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
- I decided to remove my racing snail's shell to make him go faster. But if anything, it just made him more sluggish.
- I bought myself a snail to race other snails.. I took its shell off to see if it would go any faster.
If anything it just made it more sluggish - I took the shell off my racing snail... ... thinking it would make it go faster. If anything it just made it more sluggish.
Snail And Slug Jokes
Here is a list of funny snail and slug jokes and even better snail and slug puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do snails fight? They slug it out
- What do you call an extroverted snail? A slug
- TIL there more slugs in the world than snails because slugs... ...don't wear protection.
- Two snails are on the beach. When they encounter a slug.
"Quick! Turn around! We're on a nudist beach!" says one snail to the other - What do you call a Muslim slug? A snail...
- a French man is carrying snails across a border to trade. A foreign native did not understand what he was buying and asked: "Are these pet slugs?"
"no. Escargo." - BREAKING NEWS: Snails in Puerto Rico losing their homes just as badly as the people. But with limited relief resources, they will have to slug it out for awhile.
- What did the slug say to the snail Big issue sir?
- What is the best weapon against a hoard of giant zombie slugs and snails?
- What did the slug say to the snail? Would you like a copy of the big issue?
Slug Snail Jokes
Here is a list of funny slug snail jokes and even better slug snail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out. - I went into Paris to eat some Snails... and ended up with a belly full of Slugs
- A snail and a slug got in a c**....
When the police, ambulances and news reporters arrived, a reporter asked a tortoise what happened.
He replied: "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Snail Trail Jokes
Here is a list of funny snail trail jokes and even better snail trail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do women have legs? So they don't leave a snail trail
- Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail. - Q. Why do blondes have legs?
A1. So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2. To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3. So they don't leave trails, like little snails. - Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.
Hilarious Fun Snail Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about snail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tortoise jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make snail pranks.
Mr Snail was always being teased by the insects
for being so slow. Eventually, he just couldn't take it anymore and went to the nearest car dealership.
"I want the fastest sports car you have," he told the salesman, "and make sure to paint a huge 'S' on it, so everyone will know its Mr Snail's car!"
So now, every time Mr Snail drives past the insects, speeding like a maniac, all the insects look and say: "Wow, look at that 'S' car go!"
What did the snail say when his friend lost his car?
Where did Es-car-go.
Why did the snail paint an S on the back of his car?
So when he drove by people would say, "Hey, look at that S car go!"
Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?
It's pretty much a downward spiral.
A man is sitting in his house watching tv
when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and a small snail is at the door.
The man picks up the snail and throws it as far as possible.
three years later later, the man is sitting in his house watching tv when he hears a knock at the door.
He opens the door and it's the same snail!
The snail says "What the heck was that for?!"
My 5 year old told me this.
What did the snail say while on top of a turtle? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
A snail walks into a car dealership...
And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"
Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail?
I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden.
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the n**... carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
I removed the shell from my pet snail...
because I thought it would move around quicker. Now it's just really sluggish
A snail decides to buy a car...
There's this snail. All his life, all he's ever wanted was a little red corvette, convertible, with a b**... "S" painted on the hood. He saves and saves and finally buys his life-long dream. He pulls out of the dealership and his driving down the street, proud as can be. Two guys, waiting at a crosswalk, spot the snail in his new car, and one says to the other, "hey man, look at that S car go!!!"
A snail gets mugged
A snail is heading home from work, very late one night. He gets mugged by a turtle. The policeman says "Can you describe the guy?" The snail says "I don't know . . . it all happened so fast."
Racing snail.
My racing snail hadn't been out for a while, so i took his shell off to make him more streamlined. Unfortunately, it just made him more sluggish.
Two turtles collide in an intersection.
When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."
A snail was mugged by two turtles.
A snail was mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him
what happened, he said "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I'll see myself out.
I removed the shell of my racing snail to make it go faster.
But it just made it more sluggish.
Mark and his friend Michelle
go to a costume party. When they show up Michelle is clinging to Mark's back. Someone greets them and asks what they're supposed to be. Mark says that he's a snail. The other guy asks "who's on your back?" Mark replies "Michelle"
Halloween Joke
This guy goes to a Halloween costume party, but he's just wearing street clothes, and he has his girlfriend sitting on his shoulders.
The host says to him, Dude, this is a Halloween party! You're supposed to be wearing a costume?
The guy replies, I am wearing a costume! I'm a snail!
You're a snail?
Yeah, I'm a snail, says the guy. Then he points to his girlfriend and says, This is Michelle.
The Snail Salesman
The traveling snail salesman delivered snails to restaurants in his station wagon. After travelling and working for half the day, he stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee. When he came out he found his car was no longer there. The snail salesman cried out "Where did my escargot cargo car go?!"
I took the shell off my racing snail to speed it up.
If anything it made it more sluggish.
A snail gets robbed by two turtles.
The police interview the snail, asking for descriptions of the suspects.
"I don't know," the snail says. "It all just happened so fast."
A rich snail goes into a car shop...
He picks out a super fast car and says, "I want a big S painted on the left side, the right side, the front, the back. I want big Ss everywhere! The car painter asks why, and the snail says, "Because when I pass people on the road I want them to point at me and say, 'Wow! Look at that escargot!'"
What do you call a snail in the Navy?
A Snailor
Two turtles had a collision at an intersection. .
The only witness was a snail. When interviewed by police the snail explained he didnt see anything as it all happened so fast.
What do you call a snail on a ship?
A snailor
(My nephew is watching Spongebob please send help my brain cells are leaving one by one)
A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, "What was *that* all about?"
What did one snail say to the other?
Nothing. They were both decoys.
Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell?
Did you hear about the snail that thought it might be able to go faster if it removed it's shell?
It actually ended up being more sluggish
Why don't snails use the internet?
Salt is bad for their health.
A slug was assaulted by a snail...
...and the snail was arrested and brought to trial.
At the trial the judge said, "OK, slug, tell the court what happened."
The slug said, "I don't know, your honor...everything happened so fast."
A snail is walking home from the pub one night, when he gets beaten up and mugged by two slugs...
He goes to the police, who ask him for a description of the attackers.
"To be honest, it all happened so fast..."
What did the snail paint a big S on his car?
So everyone else can watch the s-car-go.
There was a snail who took his brand new sports car into the body shop and got a custom paint job.
He asked for racing stripes, flames, lightning bolts…you name it.
But there was one thing about the paint job the body shop owner just couldn't understand.
The snail wanted a big S on the driver's and passenger's doors.
When asked about them the snail said:
When I drive by someone at high speed I want them to say 'Look at that S-car go.'
A guy goes to a halloween party with a g**... his back.
The host asks him, "And what are you?"
The guy says, " I'm a snail."
The host says "And who's that on your back?"
"That's Michelle!"
I took the shell off my racing snail so that he would go faster
but now he is a little sluggish.
A snail hits the lotto and goes into a Rolls Royce dealership and orders his car to have a giant "S" painted on the doors.
When asked why he wanted it, he replied "I want everyone who sees me to say 'look at that S car go!'"
My snail entered a race, I took off his shell to make him faster. But It backfired.
If anything it made him more sluggish...
A guy hears a knock at his door...
He opens the door and sees a snail. He picks the snail up and throws it as far as he can.
Two weeks later the man hears another knock at the door, it's the same snail!
The snail looks at the guy and says, "What the heck was that for?!"
Took The Shell Off Of My Racing Snail,
I Thought He Would Go Faster But It Only Made Him 'Sluggish'.
A guy wanted to speed up his snail - so he took it's shell off.
if anything, he made it more sluggish.
Did you hear the news? Turtle crime is on the rise...
It's true. Just last night a group of turtles snuck up and mugged a snail in the park. A team of detectives interviewed the snail for details on the event. They asked, "So what happened?" The snail answered, "I don't know, it all just happened so fast."
So a snail walks into a car dealership..
He goes up to the dealer and he says, "Alright, I want it cherry red, with white-walls, and leather seats, and I want a *big* 'S' painted on the the side." After he rings it the dealer looks at him and he says "I understand white-walls and leather seats, but why the letter 'S' on the side? "Well" the snail says "When I drive by in my new car, I want people to say 'look at that S car go!'
I wanted to help my pet snail.
He was really slow like, so one day I took off his shell, thought it'd make him more streamlined. Turns out it didn't. It made him more sluggish.
Someone told me if you take a snail out of its shell, it'll move faster.
But actually, it just makes them more sluggish.
Snail hunting
This is an old joke my father used to tell me.
A German, Spaniard, and Frenchman all decide to go snail hunting. After an hour had passed they meet back together to compare their catch. The German had a full bucket and the Spaniard had half a bucket, but the Frenchman's bucket was empty.
"Where are your snails?"
"I found a lot of them, but every time I leaned over to grab one, WHOOOOOSH it was gone"
I removed the shell from my racing snail to help him go faster
If anything , it made him more sluggish
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor
A snail goes into a bar
A snail goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says 'Sorry we don't serve snails' and throws him out.
Two months later the snail goes into the bar again and says... 'What did you do that for!'
A snail thought taking off his shell would make him faster...
But it just made him more *sluggish*
Did you all hear about the new snail racing league?
Yeah, it's called NASCARGOT
I took my pet snail to get his car painted..
We drive over to the painters garage and he asks:
hey, what color would you like you car ?
Snail says back to him:
I would a black car with a green S on top
Painter exclaims:
Oh that's cool, S for snail
Snail lashes back:
No, not S for snail, that way when people see me drive by they say hey look at that escargot !
Little snail was beaten up by the turtles...
The snail's father asked him: "What happened?"
"I don't know... It all happened so fast..."
I had a snail when I was a kid
The snail was moving very slowly so I thought if I took his shell off he might move a bit quicker.
He ended up just being a bit sluggish.
How does a snail commit s**...?
He looks into the socket.
A snail took his car to a paint shop.
He had them paint a giant S on the side. When he was cruising down the street someone yelled out at him. "Look at that S car go!"
What did the snail call his luggage?
His-cargo
It's a conversation between me and my 6 y o cousin...Sorry if it is not funny enough for you
him: Knock knock
me: Who's there?
him: A snail
me: a snail who?
him: a snail you threw out of the window two weeks ago asking why
I bought a racing snail
I bought a racing snail but it kept losing. In desperation I removed it's shell, thinking it would be lighter and faster.
It didn't work, it became more sluggish.
I took the shell off my racing snail to help him go faster.
Didn't work. It actually made him more sluggish.
Miss Obama stepped on a snail. What did the snail say?
MESHELL!
