The Best 18 Smugly Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smugly jokes. There are some smugly smug jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smugly condescendingly puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smugly Jokes and Puns

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon

Putin, Biden and Zelensky are all in a hot air balloon and it's starting to lose altitude. They need to lose some weight to stop from crashing.

Putin throws out a bottle of vodka and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway

Biden throws out an AR-15 and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway

Zelensky throws out Putin and says don't worry I've got too much of that in my country anyway and looks at Biden smugly as they crash anyways due to the massive weight of Zelensky's balls.

So the iPhone 7 gets arrested...

He puts on his earpods and smugly declares "sorry, you can't charge me while I'm using my headphones".

Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)

The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'

The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'

The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?

She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.

Smugly joke, Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)

My girlfriend is so busted

she claims to be an atheist but yesterday I got home from work early and she was screaming "OH GOD! YES! YOU'RE SO GOOD!". So I sat smugly on the couch until she came out with my friend Steve. Then I was like "busted! you're not an atheist at all. I don't know what you did Steve but you are a legend"

Eat the watermelons

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation.

So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE! "

He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.

The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO! "


A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor.

The doctor started asking her all the usual questions about her symptoms when she interrupted him, Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kinds of questions. I can tell what's wrong just by looking at them.

She smugly added "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep.

An old married couple were sitting on the porch enjoying the sunset.

The old woman suddenly turned to her husband and smacked him across his face.

The old man was shocked. "Now why the hell you'd do that for, Ethel?"

"That was for forty years of bad sex," she said smugly.

A couple minutes passed and then the old man turned to his wife and slapped her back even harder.

"What the heck was that for, Harold?"

"That's for knowing the difference!"

Smugly joke, An old married couple were sitting on the porch enjoying the sunset.

I said to my wife, 'it's really muggy outside today."

She looked at me and replied, 'if I go outside and all of our mugs are on the lawn, I'm leaving you!"

\*\*Me: Smugly continued sipping coffee from a bowl

Two functions walk down the street

Two functions walk down the street, 5 and e^x. They see Derivative walking towards them. 5 freaks out, screaming Oh no! Oh no! Derivative is going to come up and operate on me, and then I'll be zero - Oh no!! e^x smugly walks up to Derivative and says, Ha! I'm e^x. You can operate on me all you want and I'll still be e^x. You can't touch me. Derivative looks up, raises an eyebrow, and responds, Oh yeah? I'm partial, with respect to Y.

A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

~~~

So he pays for his meal and asks for his change.

The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, "Change comes from within."

Fortune teller knows it all

A fortune teller to a man, I can see you are the father of 3 kids.


The man smiles smugly, No, I have 4 kids.


The fortune teller, That's what you think.

You can explore smugly slyly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smugly sheepishly dad jokes. There are also smugly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Cloning

A rich assholish guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've decided that I'm going to have myself cloned," he smugly tells the bartender. "Well," the bartender replies. "Wouldn't that be just like you...."

A guy approaches a girl at a bar:

"How heavy is a polar bear?" The guy says
"oh ive heard this one, heavy enough to break the ice" the girl smugly answers
"Thats stupid, it lives on ice you moron. A fully grown polar bear is about 450 kilograms.

The other day I failed my grade 10 English exam for the third year in a row

My friend called it quite a feat.
I smugly corrected him and said, "the singular is actually 'a foot.'"

How did that dumbass even pass??

Two Polish Rocket Scientists Announce to the World They're Going to the Sun in a Spaceship

The entire world wide scientific community swiftly points out that the Sun is too hot for such a journey and they'd quickly burn up to which they replied very smugly: "Ah SEE! We've thought of this and have a plan!.....We're going at NIGHT!"

I do not mean to offend anyone and my apologies to the Polish, I grew up in the '60's with a mix of Russian, Czech, Hungarian, Pole parents, relatives and friends and this is mild to the shit we dealt ourselves and friends back then. ;)

A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.

The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Smugly joke, A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the loc

A phone gets thrown into a jail cell

His cell mate looks at him and asks "what are you being charged with?"

The phone looks smugly at his cell mate and replies "Battery"

An old man walks into a dollar store.

He walks up to the cashier empty handed.

"Aren't you going to buy anything?" asks the cashier?

"No, I'm only here to preach the need for change," says the old man smugly.

Exasperated, the cashier asks, "what are you, a wise guy?"

The old man responds, "no, I'm a pundit"."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smugly archbishop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smugly asks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes