Smuggling Jokes

31 smuggling jokes and hilarious smuggling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smuggling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Smuggling Short Jokes

Short smuggling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smuggling humour may include short shoplifting jokes also.

  1. airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
  2. got arrested for smuggling books into kentucky got off on a technicality, no one there could *prove* they were books
  3. If I had a dollar for every gender there was... ...I would have 2 dollars and run a counterfeit money smuggling ring.
  4. I got caught smuggling insects I was anxious. My heart began to race and I had butterflies in my stomach.
  5. You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison. You just have to have cell coverage.
  6. The best way to get a six pack at the gym is to take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
  7. An American got busted at the border for trying to smuggle two donkeys into Mexico. It was an assassination attempt.
  8. Did you hear about the guy busted for smuggling brass instruments? They charged him with sax trafficking.
  9. Several men were arrested when attempting to smuggle food additives into Cuba They were dubbed the Pirates of the Carrageenan.
  10. My mom caught me lying about smuggling Tide pods out of the house instead of doing the laundry So I had to come clean

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Smuggling One Liners

Which smuggling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smuggling? I can suggest the ones about human trafficking and illegal immigration.

  1. What do you call a woman who smuggles things inside her? A cuntainer.
  2. What do you call a T-Rex who smuggled guns? A small arms dealer.
  3. You know how to smuggle something in a golf ball? First, you have to get a hole in one...
  4. How do you smuggle a cheeseburger into prison? Between 2 buns
  5. What's the best way to smuggle avacado toast across the galaxy? On the millennial falcon.
  6. What did Gene Wilder name his drug smuggling operation? Charlie Up The Chocolate Factory
  7. To the poachers I saw smuggling lions into the country: The cat is out of the bag.
  8. how did joe smuggle a virus? he flu.
  9. I like my women like I like my cigars Smuggled in from Cuba in a burlap sack
  10. What do you call a geologist that smuggles rocks overseas? A Pyrite
  11. You hear about that condiment bandit? he smuggled as much as he could mustard
  12. What do you call a man that smuggles girls underground Pres. J. F. K.
  13. What do you call a person that smuggles mexicans? Carabiner
  14. What did the Muslim smuggle through Security? A small water bottle.
  15. How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car? In an ash tray

Smuggling joke, How can you smuggle 500 Jews across the border in one car?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Smuggling Jokes

What funny jokes about smuggling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean theft jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smuggling pranks.

A guy rides his motorcycle through the border from Spain to France every week carrying two bags of sand.

The border guard searched the bags every time, but never found anything, so he had to let him through. The guard has his last day at work before retiring and the guy comes to the border again, carrying his two bags of sand. The guard says "look, man, it's my last day, I'm not going to bust you. You're clearly smuggling *something* across the border all this time but we never find anything, what is it.". The guy says "I'm smuggling motorcycles"

A man tried smuggling sausage and v**... out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.
It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

3 inmates in a GDR prison have a conversation.

Inmate 1: "So what are you in for?"
Inmate 2: "I was 5 minutes late to work and was accused of sabotage."
Inmate 1 turns to Inmate 3 and asks: "What about you?"
Inmate 3: "I was 5 minutes early to work and was accused of espionage. What about you?"
Inmate 1: "I arrived at work on time, that's how they figured out I smuggled in a watch from the west."

Me and the wife love Skunks and decided to smuggle one home but had to get past border control, the wife says how we going to do this? I said put it down your p**..., she said what about the smell?

I said, well if it dies it dies...

An experienced customs officer is having a shift on the border

At some point he sees a man pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat. He stops him at the border.
"What do you have in this sack?"
"Well let me check."
The officer opens up the bag and indeed it's full of sand. He searches it throughly, but there's nothing else, so he lets the man go.
The next day the same man shows up, again pushing a bicycle with a huge sack thrown over the seat, and again there was nothing but sand in it.
After a few days of this playing out, the customs officer holds up the man a little longer.
"Listen pal, I've been in this job for 10 years now, I can recognize a smuggler from a mile away. I have no definite proof, but I know you have been taking something past this border and it's driving me crazy. Let's make a deal - you tell me what you are smuggling and I won't stop you any more. So what is it?"
And the man replied.

Twice a week, a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border...

And he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time, the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes, they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some i**... item.
They racked their brains but never found anything.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene that they learned the truth.
He had been smuggling bicycles.

"Y'know with all the civil unrest, political corruption, class divides, drug smuggling, gang wars, police brutality, gun violence, and poor education maybe building a wall to protect us from our southern neighbors isn't such a bad idea"

\- Canada

What do you call smuggled c**...?


What did Tyrion call the passage he built to smuggle w**... into Casterly Rock?


What kind of drugs do criminals smuggle through airport security?

a**... crack

My grandfather gave me the Luger p**... he took from a German soldier he shot

I had no idea that at his advanced age, he was shooting people in foreign countries and smuggling weapons.

Smuggling joke, My grandfather gave me the Luger p**... he took from a German soldier he shot