The Best 26 Smug Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smug jokes. There are some smug messiah jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smug confidently puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smug Jokes and Puns

What do you call a smug criminal going down stairs?

A Condescending Con Descending.

I'm not worried at all about this Ebola crisis.

I've just purchased the new 2015 edition of Norton Antivirus. Feeling pretty smug.

I challenged a guy to a game of Pool.

"The winner gets to sleep with my girlfriend," I declared.

Boy, did he look smug when he won.

Jokes on him though, I don't have a girlfriend.

Smug joke, I challenged a guy to a game of Pool.

A ghost says to his ghostfriend..

"I don't think I'm gonna enter the next ghost-race.."

"Why not?" Asked the ghost-friend.

"Because I've lost every other one!" He cries sullenly.

"I believe in you, so enter the next ghost-race!"

"..Yeah. Yeah! I **can** do this!" Cried the ghost, filled with motivation.

Smug, the ghost friend said;

"That's the spirit!"

I turned in my letter of resignation to my smug supervisor at the refrigeration plant.

He accepted it with his usual air of condensation.


Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion.

Jesus, with a smug smile, says: "My faith can move the tallest of mountains."

Mohammad confidently replies: "How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"

What did the arrogant person get when he got to jail?

A smug shot

Smug joke, What did the arrogant person get when he got to jail?

A smug prisoner went down a flight of stairs.

He was a condescending con descending.

How do you smuggle a cheeseburger into prison?

Between 2 buns

What's the difference between a clown and a colombian?

Ones a smug juggler the other is a drug smuggler.

What do you get when somebody smuggles weed into the special ed classroom?

Baked potatoes.

You can explore smug smirk reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smug gazed dad jokes. There are also smug puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Smuggling one avocado into the US will make your day

Smuggling two will make your hole weak.

I was at my divorce settlement yesterday, when I announced I would like to make a suggestion...

They agreed, so I told them, "She can have the car, the house, all the funds in our joint account and full custody of our children on one condition... I get to keep whatever I have in my pocket."

"It's a deal!" my wife said, with a smug look on her face.

"You obviously didn't check the lottery numbers last night, did you?"

I remember my teacher telling me that looking out of the window wouldn't get me anywhere.

Boy, did I have a smug look later when I handed him his burger and fries at the drive-thru!

Raise your hand if you're wearing underwears or panties with holes in them...

For those smug individuals that did not raise their hand, I'm curious how you inserted your legs in them if they have no holes? Unless you're wrapping a handkerchief.

The watermelon patch.

A farmer has a watermelon patch, and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been stealing some regularly. He comes and up with an idea to stop the menace so he puts up a sign that reads:
"WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!"
The farmer returned to the watermelon patch a week later feeling pretty smug and discovers that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads:
"NOW THERE ARE TWO! "

Smug joke, The watermelon patch.

My teacher always said looking out of windows would never get me anywhere in life.

Did I have a smug look on my face when I handed him his Big Mac from the drive thru window.

Why major in philosophy?

Why major in philosophy?
- can be smug after only 2-3 classes
- only major where you finish knowing less than when you started
- generally better beards than psychology
- can't find a job, but then again what even is a job?

Why was the guy with a monkey on his back so smug?

He had a chimp on his shoulder.


What's the best way to smuggle avacado toast across the galaxy?

On the millennial falcon.

Smugglers have began hiding drugs in the soles of their shoes. You shouldn't trust them

They're probably laced

You know how to smuggle something in a golf ball?

First, you have to get a hole in one...

You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.

You just have to have cell coverage.

My teacher used to tell me that I would never amount to anything by looking out of the window all day

Man did I feel smug as I passed him his burger and fries at the drive-through last night

Joke my ADHD brain thought of out of nowhere

So the Hogwarts police confiscated a coffee cup suspecting it of dangerous enchantments. Turns out the police that grabbed it drank a bit too much butterbeer. It was just a normal coffee cup that belonged to some arrogant human thief.







It was a smug muggle mugger's mug.

I don't understand how so many people struggle to find basic words in the dictionary.

I had no less than 5 people tell me that "gullible" is not in the dictionary. The smug assholes just laughed when I proved their dumb asses wrong.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smug arrogantly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smug smile piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes