JokoJokes

Smooth Jokes

93 smooth jokes and hilarious smooth puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smooth that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of smooth jokes that are sure to get you chuckling. From clever puns to one-liners, we've got jokes for every occasion.

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Funniest Smooth Short Jokes

Short smooth jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smooth humour may include short soft jokes also.

  1. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.
  2. A man walks up his bald friend, rubs his head and says "Smooth. Just like my wife's behind." The friend reaches up, rubs his head and replies "My gosh. You're right."
  3. I got a prostate exam yesterday and that went pretty smoothly. The doctor had both hands on my shoulders though, so I was a bit confused.
  4. A man walks up to a bald guy in a bar, rubs his head and says "Smooth. Just like my wife's behind." The bald guy reaches up and rubs his head. "Wow. You're right." he replies.
  5. Thousands of crates of moisturizer were reported stolen today ... Police looking for a smooth criminal
  6. Did you hear about the michael jackson impersonator who expertly robbed a bank? He was a smooth criminal
  7. My dad owns this reversible leather belt. On one side, it was this smooth brown leather. On the other side, he would beat me.
  8. did my laundry, and at the bottom of my basket were a couple of crumpled $1s As I smoothed them out for folding, my wife looked over at me, so I said "laundered money"
    True story
  9. A doctor meets his ex-wife after some years... He says, "Everything was going so smooth with us, I wonder what happened?"
    Little did he know, she had started eating an apple everyday.
  10. What's black, has smooth skin, and drives women more and more wild the bigger it is? A wallet

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Smooth One Liners

Which smooth one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smooth? I can suggest the ones about ease and slack.

  1. How do astronauts make sure their mission goes smoothly? They planet.
  2. I don't understand the purpose of smooth objects. I mean, there's no point.
  3. How do the Daleks in Doctor Who stay so smooth and shiny? They EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE!
  4. My carpet is not smooth at all. It's rather rugged.
  5. If you look at the moon tonight it should look really smooth. It just waxed last night.
  6. Smooth Farmer Whats a farmers best dating advice?
    A tractor
  7. What do you call someone who steals lotion? A smooth criminal.
  8. Why did the robber shave his entire body? So he could be a smooth criminal
  9. What do you call a robber with good skin? A Smooth Criminal.
  10. How does a Trumpie become a smooth talker? Takes a laxative.
  11. The girls call me fondue... ...because i'm cheesy, but still smooth.
  12. Why did the thief sand his fingers? So he could be a smooth criminal
  13. Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep... ...must be the mellow tonin'.
  14. PUBG just put up a new update The game sure is running smoothly now
  15. What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file

Smooth Criminal Jokes

Here is a list of funny smooth criminal jokes and even better smooth criminal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Michael Jackson was way too arrogant A smooth criminal wouldn't get caught with those children
  • Michael Jackson joke What do you get if you cross a convict with sandpaper?
    A smooth criminal.
  • What do you say if you get hit by a smooth criminal? OOOOOOWWWWWWWW
  • What do you call a prepubescent r**...? ... a smooth criminal.
  • What did the barber say After he s**... a man who then robbed him?
    I've been hit by a smooth criminal!
  • What do you call a r**... with s**... p**...? A smooth criminal

Smooth Love Jokes

Here is a list of funny smooth love jokes and even better smooth love puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man fell in love with a mermaid Everything went on smoothly until his mother began to smell something fishy.
  • I've always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love... ...but apparently the bedroom is an inappropriate place for a drumkit.
Smooth joke, I've always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love...

Smooth joke, I've always wanted to play smooth jazz while making love...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about smooth can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of smooth puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly Smooth Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about smooth you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean slow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make smooth prank.

Why did the smoothie get assassinated?

He got mixed up with a few bad apples.

Worst Joke Ever

Why is a elephant big grey and wrinkly?
Because if it was small white and smooth, it would be an aspirin

An old man went to get a shave...

And the barber handed him a wooden ball to put in his mouth against his cheek to make his wrinkled skin smooth. After it was over with the man said "let me ask you something, what would've happened if I swallowed the ball?" And the barber says "just bring it back in two to three days like everyone else"

A smooth close shave with a brand new razor blade is the best feeling in the world!

... was not the best thing to say to my wife shortly after s**....

3 women were discussing their s**... lives..

The first one said-"My husband is like a h**...; big, strong and rock hard."
The second says-"My husband is like a Porsche; smooth, sleek and fast."
They look at the third one to speak up. She pauses for a second, and then says-"Mine's like an old Chevy.. It needs a hand start and I have to jump on while its still going."

I like my women like I like my peanut butter...

...brown, smooth, and easy to spread.
Props to Shakes the Clown.

My girlfriend is like an 07 Nappa Valley Pinot Noir

Full-bodied and matured, pairs well with meat, and has a smooth, aromatic aftertaste

Why couldnt the crunchy peanut butter meet any women?

Because he wasn't smooth.

Why does Uranus look so smooth compared to other gas giants?

Uranus contains more methane.

You should call me butter...

Because I'm smooth and have a high fat content.

Really Smooth.

I lied told my dad that school was canceled. He said," lets go see a movie." We got in the car and he dropped me off at school.

My dvd got a scratch...

so i used sandpaper to smooth it out

I like my women like I like my ice cream...

Smooth, pale, cold, and recently extracted from a freezer.

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkley?

Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be Asprin.

A man walks into a bar.

The menu reads
>Burger: $5
>h**...: $10
He slides a $10 bill to the female bartender and asks:
"Are you the girl who does the hand jobs?"
She responds with a smooth voice:
"Why yes I am"
The man then says:
"Then wash your hands, because I want two burgers"

How do seals keep their coats so smooth?

They use a sea lion.

What do you call things used to smooth corn kernels?

Kernel Sanders.

My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..

"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."

The attribute I most look for in a woman is peanut butter legs...

smooth and easy to spread.

What do you call a smooth movie?

A smoothie

What can be smooth but also rough 😏😏😉😉

Endoplasmic Reticulum.
Up vote for more helpful cell facts

The smoothest man on Earth bought a meal in a breakfast joint and asked his beautiful waitress "May I please have the Sussex Cakes ..."

(*lowers sunglasses*)
" ... without the *sus*?"

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?

It's easy on the ears

Hey, did you hear about the blonde girl who choked on a piece of plastic?

She said that mannequin was one smooth talker.

It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and "smooth it out.".....

Screw that, enjoy the peace, leave them there as long as possible. Just get a staple gun and staple the blanket down.

What do you call a special forces guy that shaves everything?

A smooth operator.

Men are like chocolate

They're sweet and smooth but immediately go to your hips

What's the difference between a smooth sewer and a terrible songwriter?

Ones a swift tailor and the other is Taylor Swift!

What did the smoothie say to the policeman?

Don't arrest me, I'm Innocent

A friend just got a brand new grand piano

I complimented him on it by saying it plays like a baby. He asked what did I mean by that? I said it's smooth, beautiful, and it makes an unbelievable racket if you kick it down a flight of stairs.

A woman arrives home to find that her place has been broken into

Among the items that have been stolen are her jewelry, money, and her collection of expensive lotions. Police come to file a report and ask her if she would possibly know of any suspects. She responds "No officer, I have no idea of who would do this. But whoever it is is one smooth criminal."

What did the carpenter say when he was low balled on a project to smooth a wall?

I woodwork for more, but I will not sand for that!

What do you call a person who rides a mountain bike with smooth street tires?

A bicyc-sual.

Why is an elephant large, gray, and wrinkled?

Because if it was small, white, and smooth, it would be an aspirin.

Sure, she was a little plain

But when things were rough, she could smooth them out.

My local beauty shop was broken into last night.

CCTV footage shows a suspect moonwalking out carrying a large amount of moisturising cream.
The officer at the scene told the shop owner "You've been struck by, a smooth criminal".

Police Officer: Ma'am, can you describe the person who assaulted you?

Woman: Oh yes, officer. I'm certain it was that man on the TV who hijacked that truck full of electric razors.
Police Officer: Ma'am, I'm afraid you been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth criminal.

What do you call a hair product that makes your hair silky smooth and also cools you?

An air conditioner.

What do guys who don't use condoms and the British government have in common

Both will promise to come out smooth and clean on paper and then cause a huge mess in practise

Is this the smooth clam?

No this is spongebob.

Did you hear that they're doing a Sade musical?

Apparently it's a smooth operetta.

If i could cure my fever by using smooth pickup lines...

i would die from a heat s**... in an instant...

Black eyes

A guy arrives at work with two black eyes. His colleagues quite naturally asked what happened. He explained, I was in an elevator with a gal in front of me that had her skirt rucked up in her crack. So I pulled it out and patted her skirt smooth for her. She then turned around and socked me in my right eye. So then they asked, how'd your left eye get black? Well I could tell that she didn't like what I did so I reach out and tucked it back in!

So, there I was buying cheese in a deli.

Me: what would you recommend?
Deli person: *describing cheeses*
Mozzarella is smooth and melts well.
Me: sounds good .
Deli person: cheddar is good for sandwiches if you're looking for a sharp tang.
Me: awesome, noted.
Deli person: Pepper Jack is like Monterey Jack cheese but has delicious pepper chunks in it.
Me: weird flecks, but ok!

Four sailors in the middle of the ocean had their ship crashed on an island

The villagers captured them and brought them to the leader. He looked at them ordering everyone of the 4 to bring a different kind of fruit.
Once they arrived he told them : "Put your fruit in your a**... and if you cry or laugh you are dead"
The first one had a small apple so it was smooth and easy for him.
The second one had a small banana and didn't laugh too.
The third had grape and had put it in his a**... but laughed heavily.
His friends asked him : "Why're you laughing, you have grapes, should be the easiest"
He replied : "While I was putting the grape in my b**... I saw the 4th guy holding a sugar cane"

I was slightly surprised to learn that dogs' tongues are smooth

I thought they'd be ruff

I don't get it. When Civet's do it, it's the "smoothest" and "best" coffee.

When I do it, it's "disgusting" "depraved" and they shut down my cafe......

Smooth joke, A man walks up his bald friend, rubs his head and says "Smooth. Just like my wife's behind."

jokes about smooth

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these smooth jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.