The Best 35 Smoking Pot Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smoking Pot jokes. There are some smoking pot jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smoking pot puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smoking Pot Jokes and Puns

My pot smoking college roommate decided to choose Theology as his major.

He's now a high priest.

I caught two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window.

Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two teenagers smoking pot outside my office window.

The janitor lady in our apartment building wanted me to hang out with her and smoke pot. I said no.

I tend to avoid high maintenance women.

A rooster smokes marijuana and walks in a circle. What is the name for the ratio of the circumference of that circle to its diameter?

Chicken pot pi

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office building

20 minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking outside the office building.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What do you call a lizard that smokes pot?

A mariguana

My fifth grade teacher taught me how to smoke pot and kiss.

Best hire I've ever made as a school principal.

Two dudes are smoking pot

One tells another:

-Dude, I think this pot is making me stupid, I should quit.

Second guy responds:

-No, dude it's the other way round, you're becoming smarter and realising that you're an idiot.

The joke is originally in Georgian, this is a translation.

My dad used to smoke pot with me.

He thought that if he did it with me, it would be safer than doing it with others. That was cool; however, I wish he hadn't felt the same way about sex.

I like my women like i like my coffee...

...Always there to brighten my morning


...Black and strong




...With sauce

...Twice before I leave the house

...Right before I smoke

...Bitter and cold

...At the end of the day, scraped off the bottom of a pot

...Slow roasted

...Ground up in my freezer

...With boiling water poured over them

...Light and sweet

...A day old

You can explore smoking pot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoking pot dad jokes. There are also smoking pot puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Smoked pot in my car and a cop arrives......

Cop : How high are you ?
Me : No officer! It's hi how are you ?

How many pot-smoking hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Does anyone know? I'm having a party and my lava lamp is burned out.

What do you call a town where everyone smokes pot?

High society.

If a midget smokes pot...

...does he get high or medium?

Even though I no longer smoke pot...

I like hanging out with friends who do....

They always have the best snacks.

What do you call a computer that smokes pot?


How do you call a pot smoking cleric?

A high priest.

Why do stoners make lousy poker players?

Because they keep smoking the pot.

I asked my friend why he only smokes pot right outside of his front yard where he'd be more likely to be caught...

He said
"Because my dad said it's a gateway drug"

Where do hamsters go to smoke pot?


Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows?

Because the steaks are too high.

What do you call it when a bear smokes pot?


A cop see's a suspicious teenager driving erratically,and pulls him over

The policeman notices the drivers red eyes, and the smell of cannabis on his breath, so asks him if he's been smoking pot

The teenager says "Yeah, but I've got a prescription for it"

"What's the prescription for? inquires the officer

"Anxiety, but I only get it when a cop pulls me over"

If you took ecstasy and smoked pot

You'd be a rolling stone.

Cop: Your eyes look red. Have you been smoking pot?

Me: Your eyes look glazed. Have you been eating donuts?

If you smoke pot and forgot what day today is, don't worry. You can celebrate again on the 25th of May.

Because 4/20 = 5/25

Research shows that smoking pot does not make you paranoid.

But I highly doubt it.

What do you end up with when your pig smokes pot?

Baked ham.

I found out from Yoda that Mystery Inc. has a pot smoking dog.

Doobie, Scooby do.

I Think I'm Allergic to Pot

Whenever I smoke it, my eyes get red and I start coughing

A scientist comes over to test the pigs of a farmer who smokes weed...

They were all pot-bellied pigs.

What does a pot smoking boxer and a Muslim woman have in common?

A Hijab

So a racist pig, a sexist idiot, and a pot-smoking socialist run for president.

I am so sorry America. There is no happy ending here.

Marijuana doesn't cause psychosis

Been for smoking years. Tolerance built up quick tho, pot no longer has an effect on the spiders under my skin.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smoking pot jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smoking pot piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes