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Smoking Meat Jokes

24 smoking meat jokes and hilarious smoking meat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smoking meat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Smoking Meat Short Jokes

Short smoking meat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smoking meat humour may include short smoked meat jokes also.

  1. Dating fact 101 Ladies, if all he does is smoke and give you the meat then you're dating a BBQ Grill.

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Smoking Meat One Liners

Which smoking meat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smoking meat? I can suggest the ones about smoking and smoking cigar.

  1. I was grilling yesterday but then the meat started smoking Stakes were high
  2. What does Snoop Dogg eat when he visits Montreal? Smoked Meat Every Day.
  3. Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it.
  4. Simple recipe for making your own naturally-smoked, organic meats... Start a forest fire.
  5. It's important to smoke out your meats. The steaks have never been higher.
  6. What is the favorite Pokémon of a smoked meat sandwich? Raichu
  7. I smoked meat yesterday... I think that's how I got salmonella.
  8. Why shouldn't you eat meat from p**... smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high.
  9. If I smoke some strong w**... and beat my meat... Am I a chronic masturbator?

Smoking Meat Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about smoking meat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smoked turkey jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smoking meat pranks.

A man went to the doctor asking what he could do to live longer.

The doctor asked him some preliminary questions.
"Do you drink much?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you smoke?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you stay up late or go to wild parties?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you eat fatty or sugary foods?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you consume milk or dairy products?"
"No, Doctor."
"Do you eat meat?"
"No, Doctor."
The doctor continued to ask the man about his lifestyle, and found that the man was leading a very healthy life. At this, the doctor was perplexed.
"So is there a way I can live longer?" The man asked.
The doctor replied, "Perhaps - but why would you want to?" :P

Will I Live to see 80?

Will I Live to see 80?
Here's something to think about.
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, He
said I was doing fairly well for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think
I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then He asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive motor-cycles, drive fast cars, or have a lot of s**...?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said,.. 'Then, why do you even give a s**...?'

This guy testifies about his guru

"Guruji", he says, " has reformed me completely. With his guidance and blessing I have given up smoking, gambling, eating meat, alcohol, drugs, s**... with prostitutes, gay s**..., killing h**..., cheating and stealing, beating my wife and kids, and r**... animals!"
The guru is pleased and the audience applauds. But there the guys wife interrupts "There is one thing that he has still not given up!"
"Eh? What is that one thing?" asks the guru.
"Lying!" replies the wife.

How long will I live doctor?


I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I am about to turn SEVENTY-ONE).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'

Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' 'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of s**...?' 'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said........,
Then, why do you even give a s**...?'

I recently went to my new doctor.
After two visits and exhaustive tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
I was a bit worried what he meant by that, so I asked him, "Do you think I'll live to be eighty, Doc?"
He looked at me and asked me, "Do you smoke or drink beer or wine?"
I said, "No, nothing like that. And I don't do drugs either."
He looked at me again and asked me, "Okay, do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my old doctor told me that all red meat is very unhealthy."
He looked at me again and asked me, "Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
I replied, "No, nothing like that."
He looked at me again and asked me, "And do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of s**...?"
I said, "No, nothing like that, Doc."
He looked at me again and said, "Then why do you even care?"