The Best 35 Smoking Marijuana Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smoking Marijuana jokes. There are some smoking marijuana jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smoking marijuana puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smoking Marijuana Jokes and Puns

Sir, your son was smoking marijuana at school during the class!

Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.

-- Did he say where he got it?

-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.

The father, cleaning his tears:

-- Did he really say that?

If smoking Marijuana causes short term memory loss,

what does smoking Marijuana do?

The surgeon general warns, "do not run while smoking marijuana".

It's hard on your joints.

Teacher at parents meeting :

- Your boy was caught smoking marijuana !!!

The mother :

- Oh my God. I wonder where he found it from ??

- He said he got it from his best friend.

The father, wiping a happy tear :

- My boy really said that ... ?

Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch.

The steaks were high


I'm okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana.

But cocaine is where I draw the line.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

Use contraceptives kids.

Mom, how did I come to this world?

A kid asked his mother:

\- Mom, how did I come to this world?

\- Me and your father planted a seed together - began telling the story the mother.

\- From that seed - she continued - we grew marijuana plant, then smoked some weed and had sex on the washing machine...

A rooster smokes marijuana and walks in a circle. What is the name for the ratio of the circumference of that circle to its diameter?

Chicken pot pi

A man is pulled over at 2am by a state trooper

State trooper: Hey, where you headed at 2 am sir?

Elderly man: I'm just on my way to hear a lecture about the dangers of drinking and staying out late and smoking marijuana with friends who are a bad influence.

State Trooper: Really? Who's giving that kind of lecture at 2 in the morning?

Elderly man: That would be my wife, officer.

Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

You can explore smoking marijuana reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoking marijuana dad jokes. There are also smoking marijuana puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I used to smoke marijuana everyday but recently I had to quit and take a break because my friends we're telling me that I was getting WAY too paranoid.

Well, I mean, they weren't telling me, but I Know they were thinking it.

Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

Medical Marijuana isn't a new concept.

We've been using smoke to cure things for centuries.

I can't blame them for disqualifying Sha'Carri Richardson after she tested positive for marijuana.

It's definitely a performance enhancing drug. I smoke weed and can run a 3-day mile.

Worried about when cows start smoking marijuana

The steaks just can't get any higher.

What do you call a Scot man that smokes marijuana?

A Highlander

If the opening night of my marijuana-smoked beef restaurant isn't a success, I could lose everything.

The steaks are so high.

What should the penalty for smoking marijuana be?

Getting stoned


Did you hear about the Nuns up north who started a marijuana dispensary?

Holy smokes...

What do you call it when someone coerces you into smoking marijuana rolled into a cigar and it mentally scars you?

Blunt force trauma

What are the negative effects of smoking marijuana?

You now have less marijuana.

Do you know how I think people who smoke marijuana should be punished.

Stoned.

What does Michigan State football and Marijuana have in common?

They are both green and get smoked in bowls!

Did you hear about the fight club where cows smoked marijuana?

The steaks were high.

A man was driving on the highway smoking marijuana when a cop pulled him over and asks:

"Sir, how high are you?" The man replies to the cop, "No, officer, it's 'hi, how are you?'"

You can still smoke marijuana today.

Because four twenty two is four twenty too

Canadian wildfire from BC turned back at USA border by customs and boarder patrol.

Upon admitting to smoking "fields of marijuana" on its way to the border, the fire was denied entry, and banned for life from entering the US.

What do you call a group of cows smoking marijuana.

High steaks

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana

Jack got high
Unzipped his fly
And they had a little fun

Jill forgot to take the pill
And now they have a son

There's a sociopathic​ murderer on the loose, and reports are saying he is constantly smoking marijuana.

Police are calling him the weedkiller.

What type of marijuana do fish smoke?

Seaweed.......,

I'll sea myself out

Marijuana doesn't cause psychosis

Been for smoking years. Tolerance built up quick tho, pot no longer has an effect on the spiders under my skin.

I heard someone in the cast of Walking Dead once thought it'd be a good idea to try smoking marijuana underwater.

He called it Coral Reefer.

What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some marijuana?

He Shanghai.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smoking marijuana jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smoking marijuana piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes