Smoking Marijuana Jokes

68 smoking marijuana jokes and hilarious smoking marijuana puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smoking marijuana that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Smoking Marijuana Short Jokes

Short smoking marijuana jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smoking marijuana humour may include short smoking jokes also.

  1. The surgeon general warns, "do not run while smoking m**...". It's hard on your joints.
  2. I told my wife I was gonna start smoking p**.... She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say... m**... truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.
  3. Fire broke out at a local m**... farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. The steaks were high
  4. A rooster smokes m**... and walks in a circle. What is the name for the ratio of the circumference of that circle to its diameter? Chicken p**... pi
  5. The Bible says it's ok to be gay if you've been smoking m**... Leviticus 20:13 "A man who lays with another man should be s**..."
  6. Doctor to Patient do you smoke? Patient: yes
    Doctor: m**..., cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?
    Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.
  7. Medical m**... isn't a new concept. We've been using smoke to cure things for centuries.
  8. Doctor: Sir, do you smoke? Patient: Yeah.
    Doctor: Cigarettes? m**...?
    Patient: Mostly Brisket and Pork...
    Shamelessly stolen from Doctor Mike on Youtube, but h**... I laughed at that...
  9. I can't blame them for disqualifying Sha'Carri Richardson after she tested positive for m**.... It's definitely a performance enhancing drug. I smoke w**... and can run a 3-day mile.
  10. If the opening night of my m**...-smoked beef restaurant isn't a success, I could lose everything. The steaks are so high.

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Smoking Marijuana One Liners

Which smoking marijuana one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smoking marijuana? I can suggest the ones about smoking cigarettes and medical marijuana.

  1. If smoking m**... causes short term memory loss, what does smoking m**... do?
  2. I'm okay with smoking, alcohol, and m**.... But c**... is where I draw the line.
  3. What do you call a Scot man that smokes m**...? A Highlander
  4. Worried about when cows start smoking m**... The steaks just can't get any higher.
  5. What should the penalty for smoking m**... be? Getting s**...
  6. Did you hear about the Nuns up north who started a m**... dispensary? Holy smokes...
  7. What are the negative effects of smoking m**...? You now have less m**....
  8. Do you know how I think people who smoke m**... should be punished. s**....
  9. Did you hear about the fight club where cows smoked m**...? The steaks were high.
  10. You can still smoke m**... today. Because four twenty two is four twenty too
  11. What do you call a group of cows smoking m**.... High steaks
  12. What type of m**... do fish smoke? Seaweed.......,
    I'll sea myself out
  13. What did the Chinese vocalist do after smoking some m**...? He Shanghai.
  14. What does Notre Dame and m**... have in common? They both get smoked in a bowl
  15. What do you call an Irishman who smokes m**...? A baked potato

Silly Smoking Marijuana Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about smoking marijuana you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cigarette smoking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smoking marijuana pranks.

Another Jack and Jill joke

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some m**....
Jack got high, pulled down his fly and asked Jill "Do ya wanna?"
Jill said "Yes" Took off her dress and they had a little fun,
But s**... Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

How do you know if a person smokes m**...?

Don't worry, he'll tell you.

I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a m**... business.

I'm calling it Holy Smokes.

What do the Montreal Canadians and m**... addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

What do you do to find out if someone smokes m**...?

Nothing, because they'll just tell you they do it, over and over and over again.

All my sisters ex fiance smoke p**......

She just couldn't m**... them.

Smoke m**......

Smoke m**...,
Take over the government,
This is a high coup.

What does Michigan State football and m**... have in common?

They are both green and get smoked in bowls!

I heard someone in the cast of Walking Dead once thought it'd be a good idea to try smoking m**... underwater.

He called it Coral r**....

m**... doesn't cause psychosis

Been for smoking years. Tolerance built up quick tho, p**... no longer has an effect on the spiders under my skin.

I'd be more upset catching one of my kids smoke cigarettes than m**....

Mainly because I don't have kids.

There's a sociopathic​ m**... on the loose, and reports are saying he is constantly smoking m**....

Police are calling him the weedkiller.

My friends coaxed me into smoking cigarettes and m**... in the same night.

I guess I s**... at Truth or D.A.R.E

A man is pulled over at 2am by a state trooper

State trooper: Hey, where you headed at 2 am sir?
Elderly man: I'm just on my way to hear a lecture about the dangers of drinking and staying out late and smoking m**... with friends who are a bad influence.
State Trooper: Really? Who's giving that kind of lecture at 2 in the morning?
Elderly man: That would be my wife, officer.

Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke some m**...
Jack got high
Unzipped his fly
And they had a little fun
Jill forgot to take the pill
And now they have a son

m**... affects memory

No it doesn't. I never forget to smoke

Teacher at parents meeting :

- Your boy was caught smoking m**... !!!
The mother :
- Oh my God. I wonder where he found it from ??
- He said he got it from his best friend.
The father, wiping a happy tear :
- My boy really said that ... ?

A man was driving on the highway smoking m**... when a cop pulled him over and asks:

"Sir, how high are you?" The man replies to the cop, "No, officer, it's 'hi, how are you?'"

Sir, your son was smoking m**... at school during the class!

Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.
-- Did he say where he got it?
-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.
The father, cleaning his tears:
-- Did he really say that?

What did Bobby feel after smoking m**...?


Canadian wildfire from BC turned back at USA border by customs and boarder patrol.

Upon admitting to smoking "fields of m**..." on its way to the border, the fire was denied entry, and banned for life from entering the US.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some m**....

Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said You know you wanna . Jill said yes, pulled up her dress and then they had some fun. But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Use contraceptives kids.

Mom, how did I come to this world?

A kid asked his mother:
\- Mom, how did I come to this world?
\- Me and your father planted a seed together - began telling the story the mother.
\- From that seed - she continued - we grew m**... plant, then smoked some w**... and had s**... on the washing machine...

What do you get when you discover a communist smoking m**...?

High Marx.

The effect of p**... on shore birds...

On the beach yesterday I saw a researcher blowing clouds of p**... smoke on shore birds to study the effects of m**... on their flying. He was very thorough, making sure he dosed every single one he saw.
It was his intention to leave no tern unstoned.

Did you hear about the group of Kansas City football players who all contracted skin infections while smoking m**...?

The Joint Chiefs of Staph

I used to smoke m**... everyday but recently I had to quit and take a break because my friends we're telling me that I was getting WAY too paranoid.

Well, I mean, they weren't telling me, but I Know they were thinking it.

What do you call it when someone coerces you into smoking m**... rolled into a cigar and it mentally scars you?

Blunt force trauma