The Best 23 Smoking Cigar Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smoking Cigar jokes. There are some smoking cigar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smoking cigar puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smoking Cigar Jokes and Puns

Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press.

Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.

Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

I just found out The Spice Girls were paid off by the tobacco industry to hide subliminal pro-smoking messages in their songs.

I couldn't believe it, so I put on one of their records, and it made me really really really want a cig or cigar.

What do you call it when someone coerces you into smoking marijuana rolled into a cigar and it mentally scars you?

Blunt force trauma

A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar

He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.

After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"


An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?

Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

An elderly couple visits their friends

After a fine dinner, the men retreat into the library to smoke cigars and to have a conversation.

"Last week me and my wife ate at this great restaurant."

"Really? What was it called?"

"Let me think....what's that flower with a yellow center and white petals?"

"A daisy?"

"Yes, that's it. DAISY! What's that restaurant we went to?"

My buddy took some amazing pictures of himself with a cigar, hanging out in a funhouse.

When I asked him how he did it, he said "It's all Smoke and Mirrors".

George Burns

In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.

FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?

GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.

FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?

GB: Yes, that's true.

FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?

GB: Yes, I do.

FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?

GB: He's dead.

If you use a lighter on a cigar, a man will smoke for a day

If you use a lighter on a man, he'll smoke for the rest of his life.

You can explore smoking cigar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoking cigar dad jokes. There are also smoking cigar puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot

Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.

An old woman joins a gang.

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.
She went to a bar where she new they hung out and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms was at the entrance.
She proclaims "I want to join your biker club."
The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asks her "You have a bike?"
The little old lady says "Yea, that's my Harley over there" and points to a Harley parked in the parking lot.
The biker asks her "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady says "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool."
The biker is impressed and asks "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"
The little old lady says "No, never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."

Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.

The last one was called the Hindenburg.

69 is known as smoker's position......

Girl smoke the cigar and guy cleans the ashtray.

A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.



10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.

The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"

Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"

So there is this class in New York that teaches women how to smoke cigars, and the price per person is one-hundred dollars

The price to watch is two-hundred.

I had a dream my father was naked

I had a dream last night that my father was chasing me around but naked dressed as a cigar smoking pirate.

That's the last time a try lucid dream

I was meeting a friend at a smoke shop and accidentally went into the dry cleaners next door...

Clothes, but no cigar.


My hands are too small to smoke cigars

I blame big tobacco

Vaping is pretty close to smoking.

It's close, but no cigar.

Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.

He smokes smoke grenades.

A salesmen rang a house doorbell and it was answered by a kid wearing a top hat, a purple cape, smoking a cigar and drinking a glass of white wine.

The salesmen asked: "Are your parents home?"

The kid replied: "What does it look like?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smoking cigar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smoking cigar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes