The Best 48 Smokin Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smokin jokes. There are some smokin cannabis jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smokin bong puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smokin Jokes and Puns

Smoking will kill you ...

Bacon will kill you...

But, smoking bacon will cure it.

How do you get a smoking hot lover?

Stop using lube and go really fast.

Are you Jewish?

Because your body's smokin ;)

Smokin joke, Are you Jewish?

After smoking on a fat blunt with his neighbor, a man walks back to his apartment he shares with his girlfriend and realizes he forgets his key. Eyes red and clothes smelling like weed, he knocks on the door and his girlfriend answers...

She looks at him and with disgust says "high again?"

He looks at her intently and replies back saying "hello"

Smoking is actually a good thing for me

Look how often I have to go outside into the fresh air

If smoking weed ruins your short term memory...

...then what does smoking weed do?

I know I'll have a smoking hot body someday.

Unless they decide to bury me, that is.

Smokin joke, I know I'll have a smoking hot body someday.

Smoking is a scientific wonder!

It kills people, but cures salmon.

What do you do if you're smoking weed in the walmart parking lot and you see a spaceman

Park in it bruh

If smoking is so bad for you

How come it cures salmon?

Smoking two cigarettes at once

A girl saw a guy smoking two cigarettes at once, she asked him why ? he replied that he smokes one for himself and one for his buddy in prison. Another day, the same girl saw that guy again smoking only one cigarette this time, she said : "Congrats! i'm verry happy for you and your friend ! he must have missed you", he replied that he still is in prison, she asked : "so why are you smoking only one cigarette ?", he replied : "i stopped smoking".

You can explore smokin reefer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smokin bangin dad jokes. There are also smokin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I have been smoking weed for almost 13 years.

Or about a baker's dozen.

A smoking hot girl walks into a bar.

A guy at the bar says, "Wow, you're gonna get laid tonight!"

She replies, "Hehe, how do you know?"

He replies, "Because I'm stronger than you."

Smoking seriously harms you and others around you

So smoke casually for the sake of public health

Smoking can't be that bad

I don't know of a single living person that died from smoking.

He was smoking and talking to his old classmate online.

She asked, why he was typing so slow, and he said, because my other hand isn't free.

She is not replying anymore.

Lesson learnt.

Smokin joke, He was smoking and talking to his old classmate online.

What does smoking cure?


Smoking is good for the environment

Because it kills humans

Smoking cigarettes is a lot like masturbating

When you're drunk at 4 am, it's great. But when you're​ doing it 20 times a day it gets to be a chore.

Homosexuality is a lot like smokin weed

I'd don't care if you're gay, just don't blow it in my face.

What does smoking cure?


I was smoking weed, until someone...

grassed me up!

I'm done with smoking, for good...

now I only smoke for evil

My smoking hot, lesbian best friends got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I guess they misheard me when I said I wanna watch.

Smoking a cigarette

Have you ever smoked a cigarette in your car and tried to throw it out the window and a minute later you smell something and turn around to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat?

Never smoking with Mexicans again.

Asked him if he had papers and he ran

Smoking Kills

Experts say that every time you inhale a drag of a cigarette, it takes 7 seconds off your life.

When I was a teenager, my best friend and I tried cigarettes for the first time. I ended up smoking for 25 years, but my friend only inhaled **once**.

Yesterday, while out walking his dog, he got hit by a bus and was killed instantly.

I can't get it out of my mind - I keep thinking - if he never had inhaled that one time - we probably could have heard him scream.

I've been smoking cigarettes for 25 years

I just don't know how I haven't gotten addicted yet

Smoking provokes cancer

Cancer beats smoking.


I saw a woman smoking with her baby in the car and it made me feel disgusted with the world we live in.

Who lets a woman drive?

I was smoking and..

*Hits blunt*
*Blunt hits back*
Me: Woah
Blunt: Yeah, be careful next time

smoking cigarettes helps the environment...

...because it kills humans.

After smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day since the age of 18, my grandfather finally stopped...


Smoking joke

Girlfriend: How many ciggerates do you smoke per day?

Boyfriend: 5 packs, give or take

Girlfriend: If you quit smoking, you could even buy a car in a year.

Boyfriend: you smoke?

Girlfriend: God, no.

Boyfriend: Where is your car?

Im never smoking weed with immigrants again.

I asked who's got papers and they all ran away.

If smoking Marijuana causes short term memory loss,

what does smoking Marijuana do?

Smoking the good stuff

me: "Dude, NASA faked the moon landing!"

friend: "Wait, u mean-----"

me: "Yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere!"

I'm okay with smoking, alcohol, and marijuana.

But cocaine is where I draw the line.

They say smoking causes cancer

But it cures salmon

I'm never smoking with illegal immigrants again!

I asked who had the papers and everyone ran.

I ain't smoking anymore.

But I ain't smoking any less.

If smoking weed causes short-term memory loss...

Then what does smoking weed do?

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you.

Smoking bacon will cure it.

I've been smoking weed for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey.

I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more weed.

If smoking kills...

Then why does it cure salmon?

They say smoking cigarettes can be expensive. I learnt it the hard way

Just the other day I ended up burning a hole in my pockets.

Did you know smoking fish may be hazardous for your health?

I was told so by the Sturgeon General

I tried smoking weed with my immigrant friends but they all ran away

I only asked "any papers?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smokin weed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smokin cigar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes