The Best 33 Smoker Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smoker jokes. There are some smoker tobacco jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smoker smoke puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smoker Jokes and Puns

What's the biggest advantage of being a smoker?

Not having to set aside money for your old age.

Did you hear the one about Laurence the Roman Pot Smoker?

It was High Larrius

As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot

Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.

Smoker joke, As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot

What do an 80 year old smoker and the Japanese House of Representatives have in common?

They only have an erection every 4 years

We went shopping for a turkey to cook for Thanksgiving.

We're expecting 20 people at our house and my husband wanted to find the perfect turkey for the smoker. After picking through the stock at the grocery store he can't find one he wants. He says, "Don't these get any bigger?" I replied. "No, honey. They're already dead."


I was once an avid smoker of weed...

I did weed everywhere

I did it in rain
I did it in snow

But I did not, in hail.

Smokers are humans too

Just not for so long

Smoker joke, Smokers are humans too

A non-smoker says to a smoker "Excuse me, would you mind smoking somewhere else?"

The smoker replied, "Hypothetically, yes."

How did they discover that Jeffery Dahmer was a smoker?

They found all the butts behind the couch.

If I smoked 2 Chainz in a rap battle

Would that make me a chain smoker?

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

You can explore smoker cigarette reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smoker cigar dad jokes. There are also smoker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call a sick smoker attending the catholic mass ?

Winstonβ„’ Church-ill

I'm a heavy smoker.

I weigh 335 lbs.

Why smokers are sexy

Because they have butts

Why did the pedestrian die after getting hit by a pot smoker?

Too much blunt force.

As a pack a day smoker, instead of quitting cold turkey, I decided I'd only smoke when I drank

So I became an alcoholic

Smoker joke, As a pack a day smoker, instead of quitting cold turkey, I decided I'd only smoke when I drank

Did you know Jeffrey Dahmer was a closet smoker?

He kept the butts behind the couch.

My PC must be a former chain smoker

So many patches!

Did you hear the news about the smoker?

I forgot the whole story, but I remember that he was left breathless by the outcome.


Just saw the price of cigarettes and I realized there's no such thing as a smoker

The cigarette smokes, they are just the suckers

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was a smoker...

They found a pile of butts behind his couch.

My doctor asked me if I am a regular weed smoker.

As far as I know I ain't doing it any differently than everyone else, so I said, "Well, I ain't trying to reinvent the wheel, doc."

He checked 'yes'.

Two dudes are on a ship. One of them is a smoker, the other has cigarettes, but no one has a lighter. What do they do?

The dude with cigarettes throws one overboard, which makes the boat a cigarette lighter.

Why don't smokers use Tinder?

Because they already got matches.

Do Smokers go to heaven?

Yes, they go to heaven faster

pot smoker who loves coffee

Did you hear about the pot smoker who loves coffee and his dog? yeah, he said the best part of waking up is baking with his pup.



What does a pot smoker and a cannibal have in common today?

They can't stop eating the body of Christ.

A hippo starts yelling at a man.

So this hippo was yelling at a man because the man was smoking. The hippo is actually a smoker himself though and because of his bad habit his lungs fail and he has to go to the ICU.
The whole situation was very hippo-critical.

What is the difference between a smoker and Kermit the Frog

The smoker craves a cig in the pack. Kermit the frog craves a pig in the sack.

Do you smoke?

Non-smoker Nah

Cigarette smoker Yeah

Stoner Smoke what?

How do you know if a bird is a smoker?

If it's a Puffin

What do you call a royal smoker

Your Highness.

Jewish smoker is asking his Rabbi

Rabbi, is it alright if I smoke during study of Torah?

Rabbi: Absolutely not, out of question. Why would you even ask such ridiculous thing?

The Jewish smoker goes away ashamed, but since he is a pious addict he comes back later and asks Rabbi again.

Rabbi, is it alright if I study the Torah while I smoke?

Rabbi: But of course, of course!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smoker smokin jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smoker vaper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes