Smoked Jokes

Funniest Smoked Short Jokes

Short smoked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smoked humour may include short smoking jokes also.

1. I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking . Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
2. Everyone tells you that smoking will kill you What they don't tell you is that it cure salmon
   
3. There are 3 men on a boat and 4 cigarettes, they don't have a lighter, how do they smoke? they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter.
4. Do you remember when air was free at the gas station, and now it's $1.50? You know why? inflation
   Holy smokes this blew up, THANK YOU all for the awards and the silver!!
5. My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, do you smoke or drink coffee? I told him I drink it.
6. Everyone told me smoking kills, I had no idea how fast. My dad went to get his first pack of cigarettes ever and I never saw him again.
7. I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking." Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."
8. Today I cooked something for my family and they all said it was terrible. Jokes on them, the smoke detector thought it was fire.
9. Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press. Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.
10. I got fired from my job because I kept asking the customers if they prefer smoking or nonsmoking. Apparently the correct terms are "Cremation" and "Burial".

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Smoked One Liners

Which smoked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smoked? I can suggest the ones about smokey and fire smoke.

1. People say smoking will give you diseases. What they don't know is that it cures salmon.
2. Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking bacon will cure it.
3. Smoking will kill you ...
   Bacon will kill you...
   But, smoking bacon will cure it.
4. Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes? To get a breath of filtered air.
5. My girlfriend's such a bad cook, she uses the smoke alarm as a timer.
6. What do ducks smoke? Qwack
7. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down.
8. What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke? Yours.
9. Quitting smoking is the easiest thing I've ever done. I've quit hundreds of times.
10. If your girlfriend starts smoking.. Use some lubricant.
11. Doctor: You don't look too good. Do you smoke or drink alcohol? Me: I drink it.
12. What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and possibly use a lubricant.
13. How did Elon Musk celebrate 420? With SpaceX going up in smoke.
14. My wife made me stop burning clocks She was worried about all that second hand smoke
15. Today I decided I won't smoke anymore I won't smoke any less either though.

Smoked Salmon Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoked salmon jokes and even better smoked salmon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Smoking is a scientific wonder! It kills people, but cures salmon.
• If smoking is so bad for you How come it cures salmon?
• If smoking kills... Then why does it cure salmon?
• Everyone thinks smoking will kill you But how can they say that when it cures salmon?
• Everyone tells you that smoking causes cancer… What they don't tell you is that it cures salmon!
• I've heard people say that smoking will give me diseases But what they don't know is it cures salmon!
• People say smoking can cause diseases But then how does it cure salmon?
• People say smoking will give you diseases… But how can they say that when it cures salmon?
• People always say smoking will give you diseases... Then how come People use it to cure salmon
• They say smoking causes cancer But it cures salmon

Smoked Meat Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoked meat jokes and even better smoked meat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I was grilling yesterday but then the meat started smoking Stakes were high
• What does Snoop Dogg eat when he visits Montreal? Smoked Meat Every Day.
• Your mama's mouth is like a smoke house. Everyone is always hanging their meat in it.
• Simple recipe for making your own naturally-smoked, organic meats... Start a forest fire.
• Dating fact 101 Ladies, if all he does is smoke and give you the meat then you're dating a BBQ Grill.
• It's important to smoke out your meats. The steaks have never been higher.
• What is the favorite Pokémon of a smoked meat sandwich? Raichu
• I smoked meat yesterday... I think that's how I got salmonella.
• Why shouldn't you eat meat from p**... smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high.
• If I smoke some strong w**... and beat my meat... Am I a chronic masturbator?

Smoked Turkey Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoked turkey jokes and even better smoked turkey puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• This year, I tried to smoke a turkey. But I rolled it too tight and couldn't get the end lit.
• My wife threw a pack of turkey and a lighter in the cart and my God the temptation was strong... It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey
• I quit smoking cold turkey Now I just eat it like everybody else
• I quit smoking cold turkey. I now let it sit at room temperature for 30 minutes first.
• Today I quit smoking cold turkey Turns out hot turkey is much better for smoking.
• What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.
• What's the hardest thing about smoking your Thanksgiving Turkey? Getting the zigzag to seal?
  ... or keeping it lit?
• My dad asked me to smoke the turkey after I got off work so it would be ready for dinner. I still can't fit it all in my pipe.
• I've been smoking w**... for most of my life, and today I quit cold turkey. I'll make do with the much cheaper chicken cold cuts and put the extra money towards buying more w**....
• As a pack a day s**..., instead of quitting cold turkey, I decided I'd only smoke when I drank So I became an alcoholic

Fun-Filled Smoked Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about smoked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smoking meat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smoked pranks.