Smells Like Jokes
135 smells like jokes and hilarious smells like puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smells like that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Smells Like Short Jokes
Short smells like jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smells like humour may include short smells so bad jokes also.
- I like the smell of mothballs. But it can sometimes be hard getting their little legs apart.
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- Two Snowmen are in a field... ...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion. - I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like. But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out.
- Courtesy of my kid when she was seven: what's invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey farts
- What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?
Kermit the Frog's Finger!! - What does it smell like when a cow farts? Dairy-air
- "hey grandma, it smells like death in here" "...grandma?"
- What does space smell like? Uranus!
Thank you, I'm new here :) - I had a dirty dream about my ex wife The dishes were pulled up and the house smelled like pachouli oil.
Share These Smells Like Jokes With Friends
Smells Like One Liners
Which smells like one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smells like? I can suggest the ones about smell and you smell.
- I like my women like I like my coffee I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
- What's blue and smells like red paint?
blue paint. - ps5 candle joke PS5 smells like you are not getting one !
- What is green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers
- What does the Illuminati smell like? New World Odor
- What do Popeye's fingers smell like? Olive oil.
- What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts
- Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,
- I told her, "It might not be 12 inches.." But it sure smells like a foot.
- What pick-up line works 100% of the time? Does this smell like chloroform to you?
- I actually like the smell of hospitals.. Does that make me a sick person?
- What does the lunch line at the old folks home smell like? Depends.
- What does space smell like? Elon's Musk
- What does a rusty can of spray-on rust remover smell like? Irony.
- What does Mars smell like? Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it.
Smells Like Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about smells like you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sense smell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smells like pranks.
Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"A Marine and his commanding officer.....!!!"
A Marine and his commanding officer were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces. The marine shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!" The commanding officer turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Aftershave's aftereffects.
A Navy Chief and an Admiral were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves, when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a w**...!"
The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a w**... smells like.
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Bacon tree
Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."
So my son came home drunk at 2am.
I said, "excuse me, but you are out past curfew and I distinctly smell beer on your breath." "No dad, I'm sorry I'm home late but I wasn't drinking. My buddies and I were eating froglegs." So I looked at him and said, "I have been around for a while I know what beer smells like." He started to panic and said,"dad you're just smelling the hops."
EDIT : Apostrophe
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How are l**... and walruses different?
One has a mustache and smells like fish and the other one is a walrus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's yellow and smells like a zebra?
Lion v**....
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop
Biden and Trump are at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each one being worked on by a different barber, not one word was spoken. When the barbers finished shaving, the barber that had Trump reached for the aftershave. Trump quickly stopped him saying: No thanks, Melania will smell that and think I've been in a brothel. The second barber turned to Biden and said, How about you, Mr. Biden? Joe replied, Go ahead, Jill doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's forty feet long and smells like u**...?
A conga line at a nursing home
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Free Organic Pathologist Test
Go upto a tree and take a leak:
* If pee attracts ants, you've got diabetes.
* If it dries fast, your sodium is high.
* If it smells like meat, your cholesterol is high.
* If you forgot to unzip, it's Alzheimer's.
* If you missed the tree, Parkinson's.
* If you peed on your shoes, enlarged prostate.
* If you can't smell it, COVID 19.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I need help. Whenever I call my redheaded wife "my little mermaid" she always lights up
How else can I politely say "your bottom half smells like fish"?
What's purple and smells like Mars?
Apartment!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandfather's favorite joke
An old fisherman makes camp up in the wild north country near a blue-green lake, and in the morning he starts to make breakfast. As he's cooking, a little family of moles living in a mole-hill nearby begin to smell what the old fisherman's cooking. The mother mole says Hey! Old Fisherman's cooking, and it smells like bacon! The father mole sniffs the air and says No no I smell pancakes, butter and maple syrup! The teenager mole says You're both wrong! He's making eggs! And the littlest mole says I don't know what you're all talking about, all I smell is mole-a**... .
What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice?
Cat Farts...
A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.
It smells like teen spirit.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's long green and smells like ham? (Maybe n**...)
Kermit's finger
I hope puns are okay.
If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dog p**...
Two men are walking on the sidewalk until one of them stops.
"Hey, what's that brown thing on the ground?" he asks his friend.
The second man looks closer to the sidewalk. "Huh, looks like dog p**...," he says.
"Are you sure?"
"Hold on." The man leans down and smells the item. "Ugh, it smells like dog p**...."
"Yeah, but are you positive?"
"Hold on." The man picks up the item and licks it. "Augh! It tastes like dog p**...!" He immediately drops it.
"Okay, so it's dog p**...," the first man says. "Good thing we saw it."
"I know," said his friend. "We could have stepped in that."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not your typical response
Some guy was having fun with another woman in her house. He finished up and as he was ready to leave, he realizes he smells like her perfume. So he had a great idea. He went to a local bar, drank a few good ones and went home.
His wife smelled him and said:
"Do you think I'm s**..., huh? You can bathe yourself in a women's perfume all you want, I can still guess you went to a bar, you drunk!".
What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
I know it's not mine. Not sure if it's been posted before.
Did you hear about the candle that smells like a mixture of Francis, Benedict, and John Paul?
They call it pope pourri
(I really am sorry)
What's quiet but smells like worms?
Bird farts.
My friend's house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm.
Everything smells like dairy air.
Looks like coke
Tastes like coke, smells like AHHHHWHATAMIDOINGWITHMYLIFE
Old but gold
What is green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog's middle finger
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just ordered a new cologne and it smells like w**..., money and a hint of regret.
It's called Elon Musk
Me: it smells like upsexy in here...
My crush: what's updog?
Two old ladies are sitting on a bench
Suddenly one of them smells something bad and asks her friend "Sylvia, doesn't it smells like a decayed carcass in here?...Sylvia...?Sylvia...?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog p**...
One says, "hey that looks like dog p**...". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog p**...". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog p**...". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog p**...". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about p**... is enormously funny to boys.
Anti jokes
What smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We're both lawyers
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead
Feel free to share some anti jokes in the comments i'd love to hear some more
The difference
What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?
One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and tastes like a dog...
Then your a monster
Kurt Cobain hated Smells Like Teen Spirit so much...
He killed the songwriter
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Father-in-law's f**...
A man was sitting next to his wife at her father's f**... when someone sitting next to him let loose a "silent-but-*deadly*" f**... during the eulogy. Without thinking, the main blurted out, "Jesus, it smells like something died in here"
I can't believe my unscented deodorant really smells like nothing.
That's nonsense!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?
Koala vomit...
My girlfriend is like a mermaid
She looks like a woman from the waist up and smells like a fish from the waist down.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between your mom & a Walrus?
One has a mustache, and smells like fish.
The other one is a Walrus.
What's green and smells like fish?
a green fish
Me: It smells like updog in here.
Girl: What's updog?
Me: Well I've been having a hard time with depression Karen...
"Man, it smells like upjoe in here."
"What's up Joe?"
"Who's Joe?"
"Joe mama."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do astronauts and l**... have in common?
Both of their breath smells like tang.
What did Beethoven say when it was discovered that he was not actually deaf, and just wearing airpods?
"It smells like baroque in here."
what's the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus...
one has a moustache and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a protocol when it comes to bears [Long]
If you go camping, you should carry bells so not to startle a bear and be attacked, and pepper spray in case it does.
It would help to learn the s**... of the bear, so you can avoid areas with dangerous species.
Brown and black bear's is small and dark.
Grizzly's is large, light in color, has bells in it and smells like pepper spray.
Febreeze
Two men were urban exploring in the ruins of Detroit on a windy day. As they walked past the old factories, one man smelled a strange smell.
He said to his friend, "This smells like rusting iron.".
His friend replies, "I agree, it smells like FeBREEZE."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is that dog p**...?
A guy is walking down the street and sees a brown lump ahead. "Is that dog p**...?" He thinks to himself.
He approaches it to examine if it is dog p**.... "Well it looks like dog p**...." He bends down and sniffs it. "Smells like dog p**...." He grazes the substance with his finger. "Feels like dog p**...." His finger scoops up a part of the p**..., and he licks it. "Tastes like dog p**....... Yep, this is dog p**... alright."
"Well, good thing I didn't step in it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All the distilleries reworking to make hand sanitizer is crazy awesome
The stuff I've just bought to clean my hands in the car smells like v**..., but it tastes just like r**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been drinking to kill something inside me.
Apparently I succeeded, because my girlfriend tells me it smells like something died every time I f**....
What is black and smells like caramel?
A diabetic after a flat fire
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is old, wrinkled, and smells like Ginger?
Fred Astaire's face.
A technician is called to inspect q gas leak at an anesthesiologist's office
Upon arrival, he said: "Huh, this smells like chlorofor".
What are sardines?
A little fish that smells like fingers.
What type of ape smells like French dessert?
Meringueutan
TIL
Fire smells like burnt nose hairs
What's white and smells like bleach?
Bleach.
What's incredibly fast and smells like curry?
Usain Bolti.
I bought a pack of spearmint gum.
Now there's a hole in my mouth and my breath smells like blood.
Imagine yourself in the 1800s...
You're in a large city with a great port. You're in a nicer part of town, away from the water, in a nice inn. You're having a meal of potatoes. You look down - there's a toe! The toe smells like tar and fish. It stinks. Your neighbor leans over and says, "P.U.! That's not just any toe!! That's a portmanteau!"
People shoukd not be shamed for their kinks. I get turned on by someone who smells like musty sweat and coal.
But I get called a monster, simply because I am attracted to miners.
What does a cactus smell like when you get close?
It smells like blood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a cop pulled me over the other day and..
Cop: ur car smells like m**...
Me: whoever smelt it dealt it
Cop: gosh dangit
Me: ur under arrest
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a catfish and a Russian p**...?
One has whiskers and smells like fish. And the other is a fish.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is green and smells like bananas?
Gorilla p**... ... 10 year old me laughed for hours.
My wife said my breath smells like fish...
I think I have halibutosis...
What smells like fish and ends in UNT?
Rex Hunt
It might be 3 inches
But it smells like a foot
What's the difference between a fisherman and a walrus?
One has an ugly bewhiskered face and smells like fish and the other one is a walrus
"Come to me!" the man crooned like Sinatra to his wife. "Your breath smells like..."
"... come to me!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The best way to protect yourself from grizzly bears is to wear bells and carry pepper spray
Next you need to be able to identify their f**..., it has little bells in it and smells like pepper.
It smells like a henway in here.
Person: What's a henway?
Me: About 2 pounds.
What kind of tree smells like bacon? (Original?)
A Porcupine!