Smell Jokes
175 smell jokes and hilarious smell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of smell jokes. From stinky jokes to fart jokes, we've got all the best stinkers in one place.
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Funniest Smell Short Jokes
Short smell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smell humour may include short fragrance jokes also.
- This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
- I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!" - I like the smell of mothballs. But it can sometimes be hard getting their little legs apart.
- Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
- I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
- Why do some covid patients need to take a shower? Because they are starting to smell again
- If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix. Just reset to olfactory settings.
- A major difference between men and women is if a woman says "Sniff this." it usually smells nice.
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Smell One Liners
Which smell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smell? I can suggest the ones about taste and scents.
- New Teslas don't come with a new car smell They come with an Elon Musk.
- I like my women like I like my coffee I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
- I love the smell of my f5 key... It is very refreshing
- Why does Piglet smell so bad? Because he plays with Pooh
- What do you call a rapper that smells nice? Post Cologne
- What's blue and smells like red paint?
blue paint. - Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice. I hate being a dwarf.
- What's got no teeth and smells? The gearbox in the wife's car...
- ps5 candle joke PS5 smells like you are not getting one !
- What is green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers
- Which German city smells the nicest? Cologne
- 4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it.
- What does the Illuminati smell like? New World Odor
- Why did the midget get slapped? Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.
- Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling? It was beginning to DK
You Smell Jokes
Here is a list of funny you smell jokes and even better you smell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two Snowmen are in a field... ...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion. - My ex was perfect in all aspects except that her armpits smelled Hands down the best girl I have known.
- My wife said I smelled nice and asked what I have on. I said I have a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it.
- I was just fired today, simply for telling my co-worker that her hair smelled nice. I think they are discriminating against me for being a midget.
- So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night... She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
- Two moles Two moles are going down a tunnel. The one behind says: I think I smell molasses.
- There's that moment when you put your steak on the grill and your mouth waters all over from that amazing smell... Do you vegans feel the same when you mow the grass?
- I've always wondered what mothballs smelled like. But I could never get their tiny legs apart to find out.
- Bought a deodrant stick today... It said 'remove top and push up bottom'
I can hardly walk but my farts smell lovely. - Her: Do you think our kids are spoiled? Me: No, I'm sure most kids smell that way.
Fart Smell Jokes
Here is a list of funny fart smell jokes and even better fart smell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts
- What is the best thing about getting COVID? Your farts don't smell anymore.
- Courtesy of my kid when she was seven: what's invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey farts
- What does it smell like when a cow farts? Dairy-air
- What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat Farts...
- How can you tell when a clown farts? Because it smells funny.
- What's quiet but smells like worms? Bird farts.
- What happens when a clown farts? It smells funny.
--As told to me by an Engineering lead... Much facepalm ensued. - What do Pennywise the Clown's farts smell like? Derry air.
- My dogs farts smell like a bakery. It was bread in him.
Smell So Bad Jokes
Here is a list of funny smell so bad jokes and even better smell so bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you give a house that smells bad? A basemint
- My apartment was starting to smell bad so I bought myself a candle. It just makes scents.
- Why does it smell so bad in Moscow? The prime minister has been Putin since 1999
- Why did the Earth smell so bad after the meteor hit it? Because afterwards the dinosaurs were all egg stink.
- Two old ladies are sitting on a bench Suddenly one of them smells something bad and asks her friend "Sylvia, doesn't it smells like a decayed carcass in here?...Sylvia...?Sylvia...?
- My dad just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident Now his feet only smell half as bad.
- Why did the French ghost smell so bad? He was covered in sheet.
- If an ant smells bad, what is it called? De-Oder-Ant
- What smelled so bad it almost cost a young girl her life? Anne Frank's diarrhea.
- What are sometimes moist, smells bad and requires going down to get in it? Basements.
Smell Bad Jokes
Here is a list of funny smell bad jokes and even better smell bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!
- Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner
- Why does the ocean smell bad? Because the seaweed
- What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.
He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.
Also his parents are dead. - Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans? Because you're breaking wind.
- What does an Italian say to you when they suddenly realize you smell bad? EUREKA!
- All I smell is a bad pun in me... But who nose what it will be today.
- My wife had to cook to the first time the other day. The food smells so bad, that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and bought us a screen door so they couldn't get back in.
- How is a Tauntaun like a diaper? You think they smell bad on the outside...
- You know its a bad lbm when. You smell the sound.
Covid Smell Jokes
Here is a list of funny covid smell jokes and even better covid smell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dwayne Johnson and his family all contracted COVID.. They figured it out when they couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
- People have been using crystals and essential oils to protect themselves from covid. Their corpses smell great and look very fashionable.
Giggle-Inducing Smell Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about smell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sniff jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smell pranks.
Just bought a new deodorant...
The instructions say 'remove cap and push up bottom.'
...which helps with the smell, admittedly, but hurts a lot!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he came back from Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Charlie hiding in the darkness, dead bodies hanging in the canopy, and remembers the smell of blood and gunpowder.
When he sees seven, he is reminded of those days.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends all say I'm a c**... addict, but I disagree.
I just like the smell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let's hear best "Confucius Say" jokes you got
My first Confucius Say joke was this:
>Confucius Says...Crowded Elevator Smell Different to Midget
Today while shaving in the shower I came up with this one
>Confucius Says...Man who shave n**... with straight razor will not have a ball
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told a Chinese guy that they always smell like Chinese food.
He said "aw that's lo, mein."
One snowman says to the other snowman,
"do you smell carrots?"
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
adam and eve finally figured out the whole s**... thing...
afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."
There were 3 moles living in a hole...
One day, they wake up to the smell of pancakes cooking. The first mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell pancakes!" The second mole sticks his head out of the hole and says "I smell syrup!" The last mole tries to stick his head out of the hole, but gets stuck behind the other two, so he said "All I smell is molasses."
What does the lunch line at the old folks home smell like?
Depends.
Why did the police officer smell?
Because he was on duty.
I actually like the smell of hospitals..
Does that make me a sick person?
Mother's Day
Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.
But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.
"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."
Yesterday at yoga
Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.
An old married couple are driving down the road.
They run over a mama skunk and the wife insists that they go back and pick up the baby skunk.
She says to her husband, "The poor thing is freezing."
"Put him between your legs and warm him up." is the husband's reply.
"But what about the smell?" she asks.
The husband says, "Just hold his little nose and he should be fine."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Elevator joke.
A man and a woman are in an elevator.
The man leans over to the woman and asks, 'Can I smell your v**...?'
The woman, shocked, replies, 'Absolutely not!'
He says, 'Huh. Must be your feet then.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... is walking in an extermination camp with the camp manager..
"Why is there such a sweet smell in the air?" h**... asked.
"Today we're burning the diabetic" answered the manager.
What did God say when Eve swim in the ocean for the first?
He said, "Oh great, now we'll never get that smell off the fish".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Bacon tree
Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two kids are watching 2 dogs making love.
The female kid asks:
> How do the dogs know when they want to have s**...?
> The boy: I don't know... Maybe they smell it.
They sit and watch them a little more. And after a while the female kid asks:
>Do you have a runny nose?
So my son came home drunk at 2am.
I said, "excuse me, but you are out past curfew and I distinctly smell beer on your breath." "No dad, I'm sorry I'm home late but I wasn't drinking. My buddies and I were eating froglegs." So I looked at him and said, "I have been around for a while I know what beer smells like." He started to panic and said,"dad you're just smelling the hops."
EDIT : Apostrophe
What smells better than it taste?
A nose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young Korean couple are lying in bed...
When the guy starts f**... nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm starting to get self-conscious about my body odour...
On my last two dates the woman has sprayed me with perfume before we had s**.... I can't quite place the brand but it had a distinct sharp peppery smell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Compliment of a HOT Secretary...
Secretary to her Boss: I want to complain of an employee here in our office.
Boss: What happened?
Secretary: Whenever we cross each other, he says that my hair smell too good.
Boss: That's just a compliment.
Secretary: It's not, he is a midget.
A man visits his doctor...
and says "Doc, you gotta help me. I have a terrible case of flatulence. Fortunately it's completely silent and there's no smell, but I haven't stopped passing gas for two days ! Can you help me ? "
Doc says "Yes, but first we need to check your hearing and your sinuses."
[ok, I'm walking off, no need to throw stuff.]
A boy who couldn't hear, smell, taste or feel punched me in the head yesterday.
I told him "there was no need for senseless violence"
What pick-up line works 100% of the time?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Farts Smell so Bad?
So the deaf can enjoy them too.
Jim and Sarah were driving around the countryside
when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Sarah. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, the skunk will get used to it."
Even at my age, I can still turn a lot of heads.
It's mostly to see where the smell is coming from though.
What do Popeye's fingers smell like?
Olive oil.
Roses are red, violets are blue....
does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,
Two parrots were sitting on a perch
One says to the other... Do you smell fish?
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh...
It's a really weird thing, when you lay your ear on it you smell the sea.
- I hope it came off right, thats an old joke they tell in my country
A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday
As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...
But not my Sister.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house for the first time.
"Excuse me, I just need the toilet," I said, excusing myself from the table.
"Don't forget to spray the air freshener!" joked the dad.
I said, "No need. c**... doesn't smell."
I got slapped at the club the other day
I went dancing at a local club, hoping to get a little action since it's been a while. I met this gorgeous girl and asked her to dance, a little emboldened by the alcohol. After the first song with her body so close to mine, she leans in and says "You smell good! Whatcha got on?"
I said, "Well, I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it."
An Irish priest is driving along a country road when a police man pulls him over.
He immediately smells alcohol on the priest's breath and notices an empty wine bottle in the car.
He says: "Have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The cop replies: "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says: "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Grandma's Apple Pie
An old man is dying, with his young grandson by his bedside. He asks his grandson to lean over and whispers "Johnny, I smell your grandma's apple pie. Looks like she took it of the oven. Go to the kitchen and bring me a piece. It's my favorite."
Johnny gets up and leaves. 2 minutes later he comes back empty handed and says "Sorry, grandpa, but grandma says its for after the f**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't you hate it when you're driving along smoking a cigarette, you flick it out the window and you drive for a couple more miles and smell something funny and you look over onto the back seat and sure enough..
Grandma's f**... herself again
A blonde gets a tattoo...
...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.
Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?
Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.
What does space smell like?
Elon's Musk
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.
What was the name of the physician who could smell the future?
Nostrildamus
I made it myself and was proud enough to post it! :)
What does Mars smell like?
Nothing really, but it does have a bit of an Elon Musk to it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Guy Proposing To His GF...
She interrupted him and said: but I have one flaw you should be aware of: I f**... alot! Like a lot!
He giggled and said it's alright I have a problem with my nose too, I can't smell that well.
After three days of them living together ,
The guy is opening the windows of the apartment,
And the wife is crying and shouting YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CAN SMELL!,
The guy responded: no I didn't but it is getting hard to walk around here! my eyes are burning!
Mole joke
One day the dad mole pops his head out of the mole hole and goes: "I smell pancakes"
Then the mom mole squeezes her head out of the hole and says: " I smell pancakes and syrup"
Then the baby mole tries to squeeze his head up by gets stuck and says: "all I smell are moleasses"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me and the wife love Skunks and decided to smuggle one home but had to get past border control, the wife says how we going to do this? I said put it down your p**..., she said what about the smell?
I said, well if it dies it dies...
What do Tesla cars smell of?
Elon's Musk! (thanks 7 year old son!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two h**... are standing on the side of the street..
Two h**... are standing on the side of the street. One says to the other, "It's going to be a great night! You can almost smell the d**... in the air!"
The other h**... responds, "I'm sorry, I just burped."
A man walks into his doctor's office and says: My nose just keeps on running,
But that's not even the worst part about me either, doc. My feet smell an awful lot! Surely you must have a remedy for both.
The doctor replies: Well I'm sorry to tell you there's nothing I can do. It doesn't seem like you need a medical professional, but rather a bio-mechanical engineer!
After a confused look from the man the doctor explains: You've been built upside down.
If smells are nostalgic, does that mean they're ...
Scentimental?
What does a rusty can of spray-on rust remover smell like?
Irony.
My grandpa said he was built upside down
He said his nose runs and his feet smell.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is at home on his death bed
When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, "No, they are for the f**...."
A new and easy test for COVID-19
Take a glass and pour your favourite spirit, then see if you can smell it.
If you can then you are halfway there.
Then drink it and if you can taste it then it is reasonable to assume you are currently free of the virus.
I tested myself nine times last night and was virus free every time, thank goodness.
I will have to test myself again today, as I have a headache, which can also be one of the symptoms!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
They say President Trump first noticed he may have Covid-19
When he couldn't smell the b**... coming out of his own mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
With losing your sense of smell from COVID-19 being a symptom, I no longer call it f**... in a crowded elevator.
I call it a free COVID-19 test
Recently a new supermarket opened nearby
It has an automatic water mist generator to keep the produce fresh.
Just before it starts the mist, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you pass the milk section, you hear cows mooing and you get the scent of freshly cut hay.
In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.
When you approach the egg counter, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of eggs frying.
The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more…
I was griling a steak earlier and the smell of the juices made my mouth water....
Got me thinking....Do vegetarians have the same effect when mowing a lawn ?
