Smell Bad Jokes
76 smell bad jokes and hilarious smell bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smell bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Smell Bad Short Jokes
Short smell bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smell bad humour may include short smell so bad jokes also.
- I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!" - Why did the Earth smell so bad after the meteor hit it? Because afterwards the dinosaurs were all egg stink.
- Two old ladies are sitting on a bench Suddenly one of them smells something bad and asks her friend "Sylvia, doesn't it smells like a decayed carcass in here?...Sylvia...?Sylvia...?
- What moment is Batman History was the worst for Batman? Christmas.
He lays an egg, smells bad, and Joker gets away.
Also his parents are dead. - My wife had to cook to the first time the other day. The food smells so bad, that all the flies in the neighborhood pitched in and bought us a screen door so they couldn't get back in.
- How is a Tauntaun like a diaper? You think they smell bad on the outside...
- You know its a bad lbm when. You smell the sound.
- Flying illegally in the animal carriage are really comfortable in a way. Bad side? There're no toilet. Good side? They don't question the smell.
- Don't blame a penny if it smells bad! That's just it's natural cent
- The reason I smell bad on daylight saving time... It was the 23rd-hour of my 24-hour deodorant protection.
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Smell Bad One Liners
Which smell bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smell bad? I can suggest the ones about smells so bad and smell.
- Why does Piglet smell so bad? Because he plays with Pooh
- What do you give a house that smells bad? A basemint
- My apartment was starting to smell bad so I bought myself a candle. It just makes scents.
- Why does it smell so bad in Moscow? The prime minister has been Putin since 1999
- My dad just lost his leg in a motorcycle accident Now his feet only smell half as bad.
- Why did the French ghost smell so bad? He was covered in sheet.
- If an ant smells bad, what is it called? De-Oder-Ant
- What smelled so bad it almost cost a young girl her life? Anne Frank's diarrhea.
- What are sometimes moist, smells bad and requires going down to get in it? Basements.
- Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!
- Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad? ...because William Shatner
- Why does the ocean smell bad? Because the seaweed
- Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans? Because you're breaking wind.
- What does an Italian say to you when they suddenly realize you smell bad? EUREKA!
- All I smell is a bad pun in me... But who nose what it will be today.
Uproarious Smell Bad Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about smell bad you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you smell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smell bad pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo momma's breath smelled so bad when she walked by a clock it said, "Tic Tac."
The buzzword of this election is "
CHANGE."
Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to.
Just that we need CHANGE!
This brings to mind the following illustration...
Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad.
The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear.
The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately."
He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..."
"Change, now get on with it!"
And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!
Searching for Sasquatch
Two men are on a hunt through the forest looking for Sasquatch.
After days and days of searching and not even finding a footprint, they happen to run into an old native man.
They ask the man "Have you by any chance seen a Sasquatch around here?"
Confused, he replies "Sasquatch?"
They answer him "Sasquatch..you know; big, hairy, smells bad.."
"Oh!" he replies. "You mean squawsnatch!"
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Smelly Roommate (Anthony Jeselnik)
I once had this Eastern European roommate who never showered or used deodorant. He smelled awful and after a while it got unbearable. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he smelled bad, so I left him a note one morning in the bathroom, "Dear Olaf, get out of my country"
-Anthony Jeselnik
So there's a family of rabbits on the side of the road...
Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Rabbit.
They're hopping across and BAM, a truck runs over Mommy and Daddy, but Baby makes it across.
Back on the other side, there's a family of skunks. Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Skunk.
They go waddling across the road and BAM, a truck runs offer Mommy and Daddy, but Baby makes it across.
So Baby Rabbit and Baby Skunk are sitting there on the side of the road.
The rabbit starts crying. The skunk asks him what's wrong, and the rabbit says "Well, my parents are dead and I'm all alone. I don't know where I'm going, I don't remember where I'm from, I don't even know what I am!"
The skunk looks him over and says "Well, let's see, you've got floppy ears and a cotton tail and hop when you walk, you must be a rabbit!"
The rabbit feels his ears, looks at his tail, takes a hop, and says "You're right, I'm a rabbit. I feel better!"
So they sit there a little longer, but the the skunk starts crying. The rabbit asks him what's wrong, and he says, "Well, my parents are dead too! I'm all alone, I don't know where I'm going, I don't remember where I'm from, I don't even know what I am, either!"
The rabbit looks him over and says, "Well...
You're not white and you're not black, and you smell kinda bad,
You must be a Mexican!"
Two women are talking and the conversation veers towards work...
One of them says to the other:
"Work is great! The jobs are challenging, my coworkers are supportive and the pay is phenomenal. But there is one problem. The mail boy is constantly flirting with me and its borderline harrasment now."
"Well, what did he say?"
"Its just the one thing, everytime he passes by me he compliments me on how wonderful my hair smells."
"That doesnt sound too bad."
"Yeah, but hes a dwarf!"
Charlie the Street Car Conductor
Long joke that is passed down in my family
So down in New Orleans there lived a man named Charlie. Charlie ever since he was a young boy wanted to grow up to be a streer car conductor. When he finally became old enough, he applied for the job and lo and behold he got it. Now Charlie was the friendliest street conductor that the city has ever seen. Not only did he never complain about his job, but also he greeted everyone who boarded his street car and treated them like family. Everything in his life was perfect for Charlie until one day he decided to operate the street car after having a few drinks. In his drunken state, he crashed the streetcar and killed all the passengers. After going to court Charlie was sentences to death by the eletric chair. When the day came for his execution, a gaurd visited Charlie's cell and asked him what he wanted for his final meal. Charlie replied, "I want a rotten tomato and a raw fish." After Charlie finished his meal he headed into the execution room and sat down in the eletric chair. The warden gave the order to pull the switch and the room went dark as thousands of volts passed through Charlies body. After the switch was thrown back it came as a suprise that Charlie was in fact still alive. Having no idea what else to do the warden let Charlie out of jail but banned him from ever operating a streetcar in New Orleans. Since street cars were his life Charlie decided "Hey I'll go to Japan, I hear they have fancy new street cars there." In Japan Charlie gets a job as a conductor again, but as before decides that after having a few drinks that he is still able to work the street car. To no suprise Charlie crashes the stree car and kills all the passengers. Charlie again finds himself in jail ordering his last meal. "A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. After the meal was eaten, Charlie was led to the chair and once again survives the eletricity. Because he wasn't dying, he was set free but banned from operating the street cars in Japan. Charlie thought to himself, "Well I heard San Francisco still has street cars operating so I'll go there." As you can guess Charlie ends up in the same situation and again orders the same meal " A rotten tomato and a raw fish," he tells the gaurd. The warden from San Francisco had heard of Charlie and his previous death sentences so before he brought Charlie in to be executed he sent a letter to the mayor asking to reroute the city's eletricity to the jail. The mayor approved and confident with his new found power the warden smiled and gave the order to pull the switch. The lights in the room burst from the overload and the smell of something burning overwelmed the air. The warden after a minute ordered the gaurd to shut off the chair and as the smoke cleared, there was Charlie same as always. Distraught with emotion, the warden told Charlie to get out of his sights. Charlie, tired of going to jail, finally decided that maybe he shouldn't be a street car conductor after all. So Charlie travels back to New Orleans and meets his friend Thibodaux at a bar. Thibodaux after a few minutes of small talk tells Charlie "Everyone has heard about the eletric chair incidents and I just gotta axe, how were you able to survive all them jolts of electricity through your body? Was there something you did that made you resistant to it?" Charlie looks at Thibodaux and says "I dunno, I guess I was just a bad conductor."
Two twins, Tom and Harry.
There were two twins, Tom and Harry. Tom was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that Harry's wife died the same day Tom's boat sank.
A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Tom and mistaking him for Harry said I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must be feeling terrible.
Tom, thinking she was talking about his boat said Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle
The old woman fainted hearing all this.
Why does asparagus make your pee smell so bad?
Next time I'm just going to stir it with a straw like everybody else
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 10/26
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Dallas, a man was arrested after he attacked a man in a pink shirt, while shouting homophobic slurs. Because what could be less gay than freaking out over another man's outfit?
In California, a man robbed a convenience store, only to return later to apologize and give back the money. The cashier accepted the man's apology, then shot him eleven times.
Scientists in Switzerland used a spectrometer to determine that the Rosetta comet smells terrible. And these scientists know about bad smells, because they spend all day sniffing Uranus.
The reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was cancelled after it was learned that Mama June was dating a convicted r**.... Previously, she'd exhibited better judgment, by only dating rapists who had never been convicted.
I must smell really bad
I haven't had a shower since last year...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what they say about guys with big noses and bad grammar
They smell really good
What is that bad smell in Calc Class?
P U-Substitution!
Why do windbreakers smell bad?
Because all they do is break wind.
Do you know what really brings your face together?
A really bad smell!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do Farts Smell so Bad?
So the deaf can enjoy them too.
I'm a magician...
... I can make the air smells bad
Do people smell bad in Star Wars?
I always hear them saying, "May the Farts be with you."
A MAN IS WALKING BY A TRASHCAN AND SMELLS SOMETHING BAD
He was relaxed to find it was just an indian
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the starship enterprise smell bad?
coz william s**...-n-er.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman walks into Walmart
She's wearing very dirty clothes, smells bad and looks like she is in a horrible situation. She has 2 kids who look worse in her shopping cart
The store clerk says: Wow, are they twins?
Woman: No you idiot, they obviously look 2 years apart.
Clerk: Oh, they don't look alike. I just couldn't believe you had s**... twice.
An elderly man goes to the doctor for help with terrible gas.
He tells her that he is passing wind constantly and it can be a bit uncomfortable but luckily when he passes wind it doesn't smell or make any noise so he is free to let it go whenever he needs to. In fact, he says, I'm doing it now and you'd never know!
She gives him some medication and sends him off and tells him to come back in 2 weeks.
When he returns he seems upset. He says that the level of gas is more or less the same but it smells so bad that it's choking him.
She says well, that's your sinuses sorted now let's work on your hearing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does it smell so bad when a mime has a s**...?
Because it's Silent But Deadly
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old woman goes to the doctor..
She complains that "I've been f**... all the time. It doesn't smell and no one can hear it... but I just want to get the problem fixed."
The doctor writes her a prescription and tells her to come back in two weeks after taking her medication.
She comes back after two weeks and says "Doctor, I'm still f**... all the time and no one can hear it - but it's starting to smell really badly"
The doctor: "Great - now that we fixed your smelling problem, let's fix your hearing one."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Schrodinger's f**...
Apparently Schrodinger had a lousy sense of smell.
Only way he could tell if the f**... smelled bad, was if he did it into a box with a cat.
What smells really bad at church?
The pews
Earth occasionally passes through the vapor trails of Venus, causing a bad odor.
Uranus also smells.
Do wind power farms smell bad?
After all, those windmill blades are breaking wind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did Liverpool football fans smell really bad?
They never wore cologne.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the Russian presidential election smell bad?
Cause the winners always pootin'
-Sorry
My teenage daughter was worried that she was too one-dimensional when it came to applying for schools. I told her that wasn't true and that she was like an onion. She has many layers.
She also smells really bad and makes me cry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know one the main reasons Jeffrey d**... got caught was because his freezer stopped working and the smell became so bad the neighbors were complaining.
The cops came to his door and said "We heard you were keeping a bunch of spoiled brats in here"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do farts smell so bad?
So deaf people can appreciate them too
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has serious a Gas Problem.
Then he came to visit a doctor, saying he has a serious problem, but every time he farts there is no noise and Smell.
Then added " i have f**... 20 times while talking to you"
Then doctor prescribed some medicine and said to visit him after 2 weeks.
After 2 weeks, he came to visit the doctor, saying that the medicine solved one problem. Everytime he farts, it has a serious bad smell, but still no noise. Your medicine didn't work
Then the doctor said, " medicine did worked it solved your nose problem, now i am prescribing new medicine for your hearing problem"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a fairy that smells bad
Stinkerbell!
