The Best 29 Smashing Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Smashing jokes. There are some smashing sledgehammer jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smashing hammer puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Smashing Jokes and Puns
What do you call one chickpeas smashing another?
Hummuscide...
*italics* gentleman bows
What's Nigel Thornberry's favorite band?
The Smashing Pumpkins.
What do you call an sexual intercourse between Nigel Thornberry and The Incredible Hulk?
SMASHING!
Repentance..
A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight.
He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall.
He smashed the first bottle swearing, "you are the reason I fight with my wife".
He smashed the second bottle, "you are the reason I don't love my children".
He smashed the third bottle, "you are the reason I don't have a decent job".
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full. He hesitated for only a moment and said "you stand aside, I know you were not involved".
A Scottish bouncer walks into his local pub...
...and the bartender says:
"We could have used you in here last night, we had that Spanish actor from that Coen brothers film in, smashing the place up."
"Oh, Javier Bardem?"
"No. We just kicked him out."
At a wedding, tapping on the glass makes the groom and the bride kiss. Smashing the glass however..
Clearly got me kicked out of the house.
When he got bored, my friend suddenly started smashing all the clocks in the room.
I guess he did it to kill some time.
My uncle was finally arrested for smashing people over the head with paving slabs. He tried to get away with it...
But there was concrete evidence.
Volvo pulls its ads from 'Hannity' after Moore coverage
Volvo owners begin smashing their cars in protest.
I tried getting into Guinness World record by smashing up music albums
I broke a lot of records
*ba dum tis*
Kirby is like a condom
He's a safe choice when Smashing
You can explore smashing vandals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smashing slabs dad jokes. There are also smashing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A guy walks into a diner and sees the fry cook, with one arm, making hamburger patties by smashing meat under his armpit...
The guy complains to his waiter that using his armpit to make burger patties is the grossest thing a fry cook could ever do to prepare food.
The waiter responds, I assure you it's not. In the morning he makes donuts.
Smashing light bulbs is, among other things, unchivalrous.
It's no way to treat LED.
All the atoms go to the bar Quantum Accelerator
Why? Because it's a smashing time
I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.
He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.
After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.
It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!
(Bad metal joke) My brother really hates halloween
Last year he spent all night Smashing Pumpkins
While buying groceries I saw a guy smashing several boxes of Cap'n Crunch and Frosted Flakes on the ground for no reason,
Call me paranoid but I think he might be a cereal killer.
What do The Smashing Pumpkins use to go through walls?
Adore.
A man gets pulled over...
A man gets pulled over by a local sheriff. The sheriff walks up to the man's window and says I pulled you over because you didn't come to a full stop at that stop sign back there.
Yeah, but I slowed down... the man tells him.
Quickly, the sheriff reaches into the man's car, grabs him by the hair and starts smashing the man's face over and over into the steering wheel and asks him, Now do you want me to stop? Or do you want me to slow down?
Said Moses after smashing the Ten Commandments:
It's okay, I have a backup in the cloud.
Would you ever consider yourself a beautiful gourd?
Because you look smashing, pumpkin.
I recently decided to stop smashing pumpkins cold turkey.
It was difficult at first, but it got easier once I decided to use the pumpkin patch.
I hate being the one who has to break the news.
Last time I did, my dad yelled at me for an hour about smashing the TV
I am addicted to smashing up ceramic bathrooms.
I have a wreck tile dysfunction.
I had an awful time washing the dishes, constant crashing and smashing, water spilling all over the floor
Absolute pandemonium.
What does Link have in common with Tony Stark?
They both like smashing pots.
What do you call a British Bee Smashing and Dashing?
A Honey Nut, Cheerio.
My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition
Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.
Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.
I got third by smashing an urn.
A bunch of hooligans are smashing up my shop and stealing musical instruments
Damn luters!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smashing smash jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working smashing thud piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.