The Best 52 Smartest Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smartest jokes. There are some smartest smarter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smartest bravest puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Smartest Jokes and Puns

What is the smartest monster?


There's a plane crashing down...

On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to crash. Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."

Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.

The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.

The Prime Minister grabs a chute and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"

The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.

The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."

"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."

What's the smartest dinosaur?

A thesaurus

Magical Mirror

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth β€” if you lie, you disappear.

One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first. I think I'm the smartest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.

The redhead goes up to try. I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth. POOF! She disappears.

The blonde goes up. I think– POOF!"

What's the smartest animal on the farm?

The farmer

(this killed my 12yo brothers)

What is the smartest fruit?

It's the orange, BOY CAN IT CONCENTRATE!

What's the smartest kind of blonde?

Golden retriever

Smartest joke, What's the smartest kind of blonde?

What's the smartest piece of lab equipment?

A graduated cylinder.

When is a man smartest before, during or after sex?

During that's when he's plugged into the know it all.

What's the smartest pizza?

Combination with Nobel peppers.

Why is Alabama the smartest state?

Because it has four A's and one B.

You can explore smartest parachute reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smartest cutest dad jokes. There are also smartest puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are captured by a witch

The witch tells them, "If you say something about yourself that is true, I will let you go, if not, you will vanish into thin air"

The brunette says, "I think I'm the prettiest"
*Poof!* the brunette disappears.

The redhead says, "I think I'm the smartest"
*Poof!* the redhead disappears.

The blonde says, "I think..." *Poof!*

A plane was going down

and there were 4 people aboard: The president, the smartest man in the world, an old man, and a little girl. However, there were only 3 parachutes. The president said, "I'm too important to die," and took a parachute and jumped. The smartest man in the world said, "other people will need my smarts," and he also jumped off. The old man said,"you can go, my life is almost over anyway." The girl said," no, we can both go. The smartest man in the world took my Dora backpack."

The smartest dog

One day, two women were arguing about whose dog is smarter.

The first woman says, "My dog's so smart, every morning he waits for the paper-boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me."

The second woman replies, "I know.."

The first woman, surprisingly ask, "How do YOU know?"

The second woman says, "My dog told me."

Which is the smartest tall mountain?

Mt. Cleverest

Hue hue

What's the smartest cookie?

Academia nut

Smartest joke, What's the smartest cookie?

What do you call the smartest person in the US?

A tourist?

Hydrogen is the smartest.

The rest of the elements are denser.

Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.

Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.

One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."

The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."

A gorilla walks into a bar.

He's not the smartest gorilla, but ignorance is bliss at the zoo.

Did you know that fireflies are the smartest insect?

They're the brightest one.

People tell me I'm an egotistical narcissist

I don't know what that means. But it doesn't matter because I'm the smartest, handsomest, coolest guy who has ever lived.

An Irishman and Donald Trump are reading an article about brain transplants

It says you can get you can a brain transplant from a Irish man for €5000 cheaper than an american.

Trump says "This proves that America is the greatest country ever and Americans are the smartest people ever"

"No it doesnt" says the Irishman "It just means an Americans Brain hasnt been used as much"

Magic carpet

A blonde , a brunette and a red head walk into a carpet store and spot a talking magic carpet.

It spoke, "if you step on me and lie, you will disappear with a POOF!"

The brunette steps on first and says, "I think I'm the prettiest girl in town."

She vanished with a POOF!

The red head steps on the carpet and says, "I think I'm the smartest girl in town."

She vanished with a POOF!

The blonde steps on the carpet and says, "I think-"

She vanished with a POOF!

Plane Joke

There was a plane about to go down. The people who were on there were: Trump, The Pope, The Pilot, and 3rd grader. There are three parachutes. The Pope grabs a parachute and says; "I am more important" Then bails. Trump grabs a parachute and says "I am the worlds smartest man. I can't die" Then bails. The Pilot looks at the kid and said here have my Parachute, the kid responded No need to, the "worlds smartest man" grabbed my backpack.

If you're the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.

I guess that's the reason why my parents kicked me out of the house, implicitly accepting that I am cleverer than anyone in the family.

Smartest joke, If you're the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.

Earbud tangles are so bad...

Even the smartest people currently alive are having trouble untangling earbuds...

Like Stephen Hawking

Who's the smartest member of the Army?

General Knowledge

A polish guy and a German guy are arguing..

The polish guy said Polish people are the smartest people in the world. He'd even made ludicrous claims. He said the Polish people invented the outhouse. The German looks at him and says "yes, but it was us DAMNED Germans who put the hole in the floor"

What's the smartest mountain in the world?

What's the smartest mountain in the world?

Mt Cleverest

Thanks to the tireless work of an elder statesman, possibly one of the most dignified and smartest people in the process, we are starting to normalize relations with North Korea

Let's all give Dennis Rodman a big hand.

I'm not the smartest student ever so I tried something a little risky to get a better grade...

I got a D- on my recent English test and my dad wasn't very happy with my mark. I asked my teacher if I could do a sexual favour for her to get a B+. She got very offended. My classmates didn't think that was okay either, and they stopped talking to me for a few weeks.

If you guys want, I can tell more stories about my homeschooling

sometimes i feel like the smartest person in the room

but usually there aren't people around to witness it

200Years in the future.

A team of the smartest people on earth go to a distant planet, believed to have life. When they land they're greeted by 3aliens. They speak perfect english.

"Leave outsiders. This is our home planet, only trusted individuals are allowed here!"

The space group is quite surprised by this. Most of them think about turning back and going to earth. When one man in the back of the group, Unseen by the aliens, Shows himself. Upon his sight the aliens appear to become much more peaceful with the humans.

"Oh you brought Dave with you! Why didn't you say so."

A patient of mine told me this joke today... When is a man the smartest he'll ever be?

While he's having sex with his wife; because he's plugged into a know it all.

What's the smartest group of letters?

The Y's.

Dolphins are the second smartest mammal behind man.

That puts women in third.

Anyone who thinks Trump is the smartest President needs to read up on Kennedy

There's hard evidence that guy had some serious brains.

It is said that the smartest people are the laziest..

Just look at the late, great Stephen Hawking.

What is it like to always be the smartest person in the room?

Becouse I'm going to be...

A recent scientific study showed that women could hold the smartest gene...

But 99.9% of them choose to spit it out

What do you call the smartest horse in the barn?

A stable genius

John F Kennedy was the smartest president America has ever had.

He's the only president we know for sure had a brain.

Marilyn Monroe suggests to Albert Einstein : "If you and I were to marry, our kids will be the smartest and most beautiful in all the world."

Einstein: "What if they get my looks and your brain?"

What are the smartest people in America called?


It's really lonely, being the smartest guy in the room.

Mainly because the room has to be empty before I am

The Russian president is on a visit to the USA.

So he is taken on a tour of various tech companies to show him their superiority.

"This," says Bob, "is the smartest computer in the world. Ask it any question, and it will answer you correctly."

The Russian president is intrigued. So he decides to trick the computer and asks: "Who will be the superpower 100 years from today?"

The computer goes silent for a minute, then prints out a paper which the Russian president takes.

"So?" asks Bob. "What does it say?"

"I have no idea," replied the Russian president. "It is written in Chinese"

What is the smartest tool?

A thermometer because it has so many degrees

Told to me by my 8 year old daughter: Who is the smartest pig in the world?

Oinkbert Einswine

My father always told me to be around smart people.

One day, My father and I were having a convo, he said totally committed to his words, "son be around smart people, if you are the smartest in the room you are in the wrong room."

So I got up and left the room.

My doctor says I have narcissistic personality disorder

But that's impossible, as the smartest man alive I think I would have noticed.

Designing bear-proof garbage cans is very hard…

There will always be a significant overlap between the smartest bears, and the dumbest people.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smartest govern puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smartest smartest president ever piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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