The Best 18 Smartass Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smartass jokes. There are some smartass wiseguy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smartass smart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smartass Jokes and Puns

A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.

Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!

A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.

Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

A donkey had an IQ of 186.

He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

A man calls the hotel front desk

"Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"

"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."

"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?"

"My wife is trying to jump out of the window..."

"Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."

"Listen here you smartass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"

Smartass joke, A man calls the hotel front desk

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"

This morning I entered a store...

I noticed the clerk had a missing hand and a watch on it, that kept falling.

\-Why don't you wear it on the other hand?

\-And how am I supposed to put it on, smartass?



I've decided to mind my own business from now on.


[NSFW] English Exam

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
final exam. She tells the class there would be no excuse for not
showing up, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in
the student's immediate family.

A smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about
extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to
stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored,
the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student shakes her head,
and sweetly says, "Not an excuse........Write with your other hand."

Farmer Smartass

A grandson goes to visit his grandfather's farm. He asks his grandfather, "Why does that chicken house have two doors?"

The grandfather replies, "It has two doors because it's a chicken coop. The one over there with four doors is a chicken sedan."

Smartass joke, Farmer Smartass

A haggard old woman walks into a bar.

She's holding a paper bag. She climbs up on the bar and holds up the bag.

"Any of you guys guess what's in this bag gets some tail!"

There's an uncomfortable silence until a smartass in the back yells "Yeah! Is it an elephant?"

"Close enough, let's go."

Do you know why they don't send donkeys to school?

Nobody likes a smart ass.

My dad's favorite to a smart-ass kid

My smart-ass friend just told me how to spell lotion backwards

He's such a noitol.

I know that the placebos is supposed to help with testing pills and medicines if they actually work...

But who's smart-ass idea was it to try it with Birth Control!?!?

You can explore smartass witty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smartass backseat dad jokes. There are also smartass puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did the smartass say to the idiot?

"What did the smartass say to the idiot?"

Ants

"We're on a roll!" said the worker ant.

"No, this is a donut." corrected the smart-ass ant.

Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Fair enough, smartass.

What did the dumbass say to the smartass?

Comment your response below.

What's the difference between a smartass and a dumbass?

One is as sharp as a tack, the other uses a tarp for a shack.

Smartass joke, What's the difference between a smartass and a dumbass?

My friend told me to see the Eclipse

Thanks smartass, now i can't see nothing.

a bowler hat on a donkey

Do you know, why it's not recommended to put a bowler hat on a donkey?
Because no one likes a smartass...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smartass comeback jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smartass snarky piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes