Smart Girl Jokes
42 smart girl jokes and hilarious smart girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smart girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Smart Girl Short Jokes
Short smart girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smart girl humour may include short smart kid jokes also.
- My girlfriend is so smart! I forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone! - My girl is so smart! My girlfriend is so smart. I called her from my friends phone and she said "what's up honey?". She already knew I was on the other side of the line ;)
- Boy To Girl Boy : You are the most funniest & most beautiful girl I've ever met.
Girl : You just want to screw me , Don't you ?
Boy : Wow ! and smart too ... ! - Blonde Joke Why did the blonde girl have bruises around her belly button?
Because blonde guys aren't smart either (Sorry if it's a repost.) - want a smart girl, a nice girl, a romantic girl. But most importantly, I want these women to never meet.
- I met this girl at the library... She was really smart! Almost as brainy as Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
- Guys, you can't ask a girl her weight! You have to factor in her height too! Ask for her BMI score. Be smart.
- Boy: You are very beautiful Girl: You are only saying this because you wanna have s**... with me...
Boy: Smart, too. - Why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly b**...? Because blonde guys aren't that smart either.
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Smart Girl One Liners
Which smart girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smart girl? I can suggest the ones about smart dog and pretty girl.
- Why don't smart girls ever get pregnant? Because they use their head.
- [OC] What did Ron say when a smart girl kicked his leg? Ow!
You Hermione! - A beautiful girl looks good in the background of her smart friend.
- OK so one time I was talking to this really smart girl
- What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off? A s**... of genius!
- What do you call it when your having s**... with a smart girl? Being in-genious
Quirky and Hilarious Smart Girl Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about smart girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean beautiful girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smart girl pranks.
Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school.
Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit."
Nina’s dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother."
Three blondes
Three blonde women are sitting on the side of a river. The first one says "dear God, make me twice as smart as I am so that I can cross the river". So God turns her into a brunette and she swims across. The second blonde says "dear God please make me twice as smart as you made the last girls so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a Red Head and she builds a boat and sails across. The third blonde says "dear God, make me twice as smart as you made the last girl so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
*edit* People, it's just a joke! So much hate, I've told other jokes as well. Here's an anti-man joke? Why are women bad with judging distance? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches is their entire lives.
Engineers
Two engineering students are walking along and the first engineering student asks, "Hey where did you get the new bike?". The second engineering student replies, "It was the craziest day, there I am headed to class and all of a sudden this hot girl rides up to me with the bike. Then she throws the bike down, takes all her clothes off and says 'Take what you want!'". The first engineering student nods his head and says, "Smart choice, there's no way those clothes would've fit".
A short collection of jokes....
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: homework!!!
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
Why is there no mexican olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the boarder..
Q: Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
A: Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off.
Boy:say me
Girl:me
Boy: you forgot the d
Girl: there's no d in me
Boy: not yet there isnt :)
One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance... so i pushed her over
Failed my biology test today:
They asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasnt the correct answer
Enjoy and post some funny ones i can havea laugh at...
r**... boy meets his dream girl!
A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
So a father and son are sitting outside an icecream shop.
And three women walk out, one l**..., one s**... and one biting the icecream cone. The father asks the son, "which one of those girls is married?" The son replies "obviously the one s**... the cone"
"No son, the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way you think."
Sorry for grammar. I smart
3 blonde women are on one side of a river...
...wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
3 blonde girls is at the side of a river
And they're trying to get to the village on the other side
1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river
the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across
The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge
A plane was going down
and there were 4 people aboard: The president, the smartest man in the world, an old man, and a little girl. However, there were only 3 parachutes. The president said, "I'm too important to die," and took a parachute and jumped. The smartest man in the world said, "other people will need my smarts," and he also jumped off. The old man said,"you can go, my life is almost over anyway." The girl said," no, we can both go. The smartest man in the world took my Dora backpack."
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
I was walking behind a girl late at night
I open silently the bottle of chloroform so she doesn't freak out.
I put out my tissue,
put chloroform on it,
*sneezing*
clean my nose,
and pass out
I'm not a smart man
A smart scientist amd a blonde girl sit down on a plane.
A very smart man boards a plane and sits down.
A blond girl sits next to him.
He is bored so he says to her
"Let's play a game, I give you a riddle if you cannot find the answer you pay me 5 dollars. If you answer it though you give me a riddle and I don't answer it I'll give you 300$"
She says "OK, I'll go first."
"What goes up a hill on 1 leg and goes down on 2?"
He thinks about it for a while but after about 10 minutes can't find a answer so he Google's it.
Nothing.
He calls scientists and several well educated people. They have no clue.
He, a man of his word gives the 300 dollars to her.
He asks for the answer she shrugs and hands him 5$
Girl made $20 climbing a tree
A girl was excited that she made $20 climbing a tree, so she had to tell her mom. The mom said "Honey they just wanted to see your p**...!" To which the daughter responded with "I was smart! I took them off."
I once loved two girls at the same time
I used to live between two girls. Kate, a smart and funny brunette and Edith, a s**... and mischeivous blonde. I hit it off well with both girls and so, thought I could date them both. I would spend Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Kate, and Tuesday, Thursday and Sautrday with Edith. I would alternate Sundays between Kate and Edith.
One Sunday, Kate invited me out bowling. We had a fantastic time, but as I walked Kate home, Edith was standing outside my house, expecting to spend Sunday with me. The two girls immediately understood what was going on and slapped me before walking home.
It was then I learned what they say is true,you can't have your Kate, and Edith too
Report Card
Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in class. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.
A man was watching TV and tossing peanuts in the air and eating them.
His wife calls him and he turns his head while eating one and it goes into his ear.
They try in vain to take it out when their daughter comes home with her boyfriend after a date.
The boyfriend says he can help and puts two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow hard and out pops the peanut.
After the boyfriend leaves, the wife remarks, "Wow, that's a smart boy our girl is dating! What do you think he is going to become when he grows up?".
"From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law", says the man.
Ever have s**... with a girl only to realize they're completely insane?
For example, last week I hooked up with this cute red-head . She was smart, s**..., bit of a lisp. Everything seemed normal, but the second we got finished she started going on about how she was the Norse god of thunder.
My girlfriend woke up and said I'm mad at you! I just had a dream that you were hitting on college girls!
I could tell she was really upset so I hugged her, then looked in her eyes and said Oh sweetheart you have nothing to worry about...I don't dig smart chicks
A boy asks his grand dad where humans cane from
The grand dad says well, god created the earth and decided to make humans to populate it.
The boy says but that's not what grand ma said!
The grand dad asks well what did she say?
The boy says grand ma says that a smart monkey girl had a baby with a smart monkey boy and they kept getting smarter and smarter until they turned into humans. And then he says so where did we actually come from grand dad?
And the grand dad replies well I was talking about my side of the family and she was talking about hers.
(Not my joke)
A general, an officer, an old lady, and an attractive young woman all board a train together.
As they ride along they go in a dark tunnel and can't see anything. Suddenly, they hear a quick smooch followed by a loud s**...!
The old lady thinks, "that young girl has some fine morals, smacking a man for trying to steal a kiss."
The young woman thinks, "how odd, the general tried to kiss the old lady instead of me."
The general thinks, "that officer is smart, he steals a kiss, and I get slapped."
The office thinks, "I'M A GENIUS! I kiss the back of my hand, and get to hit a 4 star general!!!"
My girlfriend is so smart, she really surprises me!
I went golfing, and forgot to bring my phone, so I used my friend's phone to call her.
She answered: "What's up, honey?"
What a smart girl! She knew I was the one on the phone!
