The Best 17 Smart Dog Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Smart Dog jokes. There are some smart dog intelligent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these smart dog smart or dumb puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Smart Dog Jokes and Puns

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

FO: My dog is so smart that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.

SO: I know.

FO: How do you know?

SO: My dog told me.

Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet

There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.

As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.

The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.

Thinking quickly, John said "Woof woof"

The policeman shrugged and said "Ohhh, its just a dog"

He then went up Peter's box, and kicked it.

Peter followed John's example, "Meow meow"

The Policeman shrugged again and said "Ohhh, its just a cat"

He then went to the last box, which hid Jose and kicked it

"Potato Potato"

How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

Smart Dog joke, How many sheep?

dogs aren't smart enough to operate mri machines

but catscan

Smart dog

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"


The smartest dog

One day, two women were arguing about whose dog is smarter.

The first woman says, "My dog's so smart, every morning he waits for the paper-boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me."

The second woman replies, "I know.."

The first woman, surprisingly ask, "How do YOU know?"

The second woman says, "My dog told me."

What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull?

A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.

Smart Dog joke, What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull?

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender

"Give me two beers. Rough day at work."

And the bartender says, "Oh? what do you do?"

The guy says, "I take care of the Corgis - you know, the dogs that the royal family owns."

The bartender says, "Tough job, huh?"

The guy says, "Well, all that in-breeding has led to low intelligence
and bad temperament. And the dogs aren't that smart either."

A guy moves to a new neighborhood and sees his neighbor playing chess with his dog

A guy moves to a new neighborhood. The next morning, he sees his neighbor playing chess with his dog. Tries to be friendly, he asks: wow you have an incredibly smart dog, he can even play chess, how'd you train him?. Bothered, his neighbor replies: Nah, not that bright, we've been playing 10 games, and he lost like 7 of them!

Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.

My dog is so smart, says the first owner, that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed. I know, says the second owner. How do you know? the first demands. My dog told me.

Two guys debating about whose dog is smarter

Guy 1: "My dog is very smart, every morning he always fetch my newspaper"

Guy 2: "I already know that"

Guy 1: "What? Who told you about that?"

Guy 2: "My dog"

You can explore smart dog bird reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean smart dog owners dad jokes. There are also smart dog puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man sells a dog.

The buyer asks, Is he healthy?

My dog is very healthy, the seller answers.

Is he smart?

My dog is very smart.

Is he loyal?

Yes, my dog is extremely loyal! I'm selling him for the fifth time already.

Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter...

First Woman : "My doggo is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me. Second Woman : "I know..." First Woman : "How?" Second Woman : "My dog told me."

Miniature schnauzer joke

My miniature schnauzer is smarter than most people I know.

A man walks into a bar and sees a man playing chess with his dog.

"Dear goodness! I've never seen such a thing in my life. That dog must be incredibly smart."
"Not really. He loses 9 out of every 10 games."

Invited to a private poke game...

A man was invited to a private poker game. When he arrived he saw that the game had already begun. Sitting at the table were four guys and a dog. More than a little surprised, he said, That must be a pretty smart dog to play poker. He ain't so smart, one of the guys said, Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail.

Smart Dog joke, Invited to a private poke game...

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.



He watched the game in astonishment for a while.

β€œI can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

β€œNah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. I’ve beaten him three games out of five."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the smart dog smart knock knock jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working smart dog smart math piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes