Smallest Jokes

79 smallest jokes and hilarious smallest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about smallest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Smallest Short Jokes

Short smallest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The smallest humour may include short shortest jokes also.

  1. What's the smallest unit of time in the known universe? The interval between the traffic light changing to green and the taxi driver behind you honking his horn.
  2. Why is cellphone reception so good in Wisconsin Even the smallest towns have at least 4 bars
  3. My wife holds grudges over the smallest things. She asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. Even after a few weeks, she's still not speaking to me
  4. A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up. Sorry, I'm a little behind.
  5. Speed dating Her: I hate it when people get excited when they find out they have smallest thing in common.
    Me: Oh my God! Me too!
  6. Why was the girl amazed at her ability to get pregnant from the world's smallest man? Because she didn't know she had it in her.
  7. Which is the smallest pub in the world? The Thalidomide Arms.
  8. Anybody here heard of Molecules? He's the smallest of the Greek heroes!
  9. How are women similar to fireworks? They're fun to watch from a distance, dangerous up close, and can be ignited by the smallest spark.
  10. My favorite dinosaur My favorite dinosaur is the Clitorous, its is the smallest of the dinosaurs, it is also hard to find because it likes to hide in the bushes
    Credit goes to comedian Etta May.

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Smallest One Liners

Which smallest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with smallest? I can suggest the ones about youngest and shortest of all.

  1. What state has the smallest soft drinks? Minisoda
  2. How tall is the world smallest grandmother? One Nanameter.
  3. What U.S. State has the smallest sodas? Minisoda
  4. Which state serves the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota.
  5. What do you call a cub at it's smallest point? Bear minimum
  6. Which state serves the smallest drinks? Mini soda
  7. What do you call the smallest mother? The minimum
    (Not OPs, but chuckled, heart = warm)
  8. Which state sells the smallest cans of coke? Minisoda
  9. Which US sate has the smallest soft drinks? Minnisoda
  10. What is the world's smallest book? Job listings for philosophy majors.
  11. Which is the smallest video sharing website? μtube
  12. There was a documentary on TV about the world's smallest car. I couldn't get into it.
  13. I've started calling the smallest of my three dogs 'grandma' She has mini paws
  14. Which U.S state has the smallest soft drink Minisoda
  15. Hey girl, are you a fire alarm? 'Cause you get triggered from the smallest of things

Worlds Smallest Jokes

Here is a list of funny worlds smallest jokes and even better worlds smallest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A joke my kid told me today. Him: dad guess who is the smallest family in the world?
    Me: I don't know, who?
    Him: the atoms family.
    Not bad for 7 years old.
  • What is the smallest book in the world? The book of Italian war hero's....
  • Did you hear about the world's smallest sailor? He fell asleep on his watch.
  • What do you call the smallest Superman in the world?.. Quark Kent.
  • This person I know owns the world's smallest handcuffs! He's wearing his wedding ring.
  • What happens to the losers of the tv show The Biggest Loser? They're made to feel like the smallest person in the world.
  • What's the smallest instrument in the world? An e-lectron.
  • Too Soon: Verne Troyer, the actor who played Mini-Me, has passed The world's smallest violin will be played at his memorial service.
  • World's smallest resignation letter to boss: Dear Sir,
  • Where is the worlds smallest airport? Under a Scotsman's kilt. Two hangers and a night fighter.
Smallest joke, Where is the worlds smallest airport?

Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Smallest Jokes with Friends.

What funny jokes about smallest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smaller jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make smallest pranks.

Looking for a joke about religious divisions...

I heard a joke a long time ago about two people who were in the same religion. and they go through the sub-parts of the religion- they're both christians, protestants, lutherans, same synod, etc... but when they get to the smallest possible division - they are in different ones and they get into a big fight, yelling at each other about being apostates. Anyone know how it goes?

What's the smallest drink you can order at a bar?

A mar tiny.

Wife asks god for a better husband

Wife: Dear God , I wish you could make my husband pay more attention to me, protect me, take me out, sleep close to me at night.
I wish he would be more caring even if I got the smallest of scratches.
God then turned her into a smartphone.

Which state has the smallest sodas?


A man's wife is showing off her new bikini at the beach....

"Do you notice the difference?" she said "I've lost a stone".
The man picks up the smallest pebble he can find and throws it into the water. "The beach has lost a stone. Do you notice the difference?"

A physicist, engineer, and mathematician are asked by a local farmer to build the smallest fence they possibly can to hold in all of his sheep.

The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.

An engineer, a mathmetician, and a physicist are hired by a farmer to build the smallest fence possible to hold all his sheep.

The physicist makes a large fence and gradually shrinks it over and over until he cannot shrink it any further.
The engineer stacks all the sheep in a specific way and builds a small fence around them.
The mathmetician builds a tiny fence around himself and then defines himself as outside the fence.

I hate women who lie over the smallest things.

My girlfriend of 2 months told me she had a lot of abandonment issues. I looked it up online and that's not even a real magazine. So I packed my bags and left her.

which animal has the smallest g**...?

a peacock...

My ex posted on facebook about the smallest man she's ever been with

And how she left him there on the spot, I thought it was hilarious, until I realised she was talking about me.

For like a week every month, my wife will make a big deal out of the smallest things

I think she's just o**... acting

What does a Porsche 911 and the smallest possible forest have in common?

They're both 2 cedars (seaters).

There were three restaurants

There were three restaurants on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."
The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."
On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."

Who is the smallest TV show host?

*Mike Rowe*

There are two kittens sitting on a steep roof. Which one falls off first?

the one with the smallest *mu*
**Preemptive explanation:**
Coefficient of friction. The coefficient of friction (COF), often symbolized by the Greek letter µ (pronounced *mew*), is a dimensionless scalar value which describes the ratio of the force of friction between two bodies and the force pressing them together.

Women really do hold grudges over the smallest things...

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm and I accidentally gave her a tube of super glue. It's been a week now and she's still not talking to me.

Why do I and the girl I lost my virginity to never argue?

Because the 1st root has the smallest possible argument

What do you call the smallest of a group of little people mothers?

The Minimum!

You know the smallest things can get you fired, one time I got fired because I ripped up a c**... drawing I did

Boy am I never gonna be a tattoo artist again

I just read a novel that took place in the world's smallest graveyard

Honestly, it s**.... It didn't even have a plot.

132 is my favorite number

the sum of all 2-digit numbers one can make from 132 results in 132. 132 is the smallest number with that property.
that's cool.
But it's my favorite because the response I give to many people is 132 in binary and I communicate binary using my fingers.

Three automobile managers at the u**...

The first goes to the sink and dries his hands with so many paper towels that not even the smallest droplet remains. "At Opel, we learn to be extremely thorough," he says.
The second uses only one towel for this and remarks: "At BMW, we also learn to be extremely efficient."
The third walks past the sink and says, "At Daimler, we don't p**... all over our hands!"

What is the smallest unit to measure...

What is the smallest unit to measure distance ?
It's the millimeter !
And what is the smallest unit to measure volume ?
Yes, it's the milliliter !
And so, what is the smallest unit to measure intelligence ?
It's the military !

Smallest joke, What is the smallest unit to measure...

jokes about smallest