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Small Man Jokes

26 small man jokes and hilarious small man puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about small man that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Small Man Short Jokes

Short small man jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The small man humour may include short little man jokes also.

  1. Elon Musk lands on mars and steps out of his spaceship ### "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says the ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
  2. Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
  3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
    I love supporting the community.
  4. A man sees a small boy begging for money He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.
    The boy asks "what gave me away?"
    The man responds "your parents"
  5. A Chess Shop A man walks into a chess shop, and going over to the small asian manager, he asks if he can purchase a piece.
    The manager says, "Oh sure. Take a rook."
  6. A man walks up to a girl in a bar and says "You remind me of my little toe" .
    She says, "Is that because I'm small and cute?"
    He says, "No, its because I'm going to bang you on the table later"
  7. A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool I don't know what they're filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water
  8. A man saw a small boy crying in an alley "What is wrong?" he said
    "My parents died" the boy responded.
    The man pulled down his pants and said "Welp, this isn't your lucky day."
  9. A man knocked on my door... .. and asked if I could make a small donation to help the neighborhood public pool.
    I gave him a glass of water.
  10. A joke i heard recently and i have to share it What do you call a small hispanic man?
    Paragraph because he is too small to be an ese

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Small Man One Liners

Which small man one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with small man? I can suggest the ones about small people and little person.

  1. I just met the man who made the globe I keep on my desk! It's a small world.
  2. One small step for man, one giant leap for midgets.
  3. What do you call a con-man dwarf with esp? A small medium, at large.
  4. Did you hear Ant Man will be in Captain America 3? I hear it will be a small role
  5. My grandad always said "there are no small parts..." Lovely man, terrible horologist.
  6. What do you call a small swiss man? A Toblergnome.
  7. Job Advertisment: Small black man for mudflap. Must be flexible and willing to travel.
  8. Why did the Hispanic man name his small dog "Spanish"? It was a Spaniel.
  9. What do Iron Man's suit and the small bus have in common? They both transport Downey jr.
  10. I wanted to be Ant-Man for Halloween... but the costume was way too small.
  11. A small Irish man escaped from prison today. He's a leprechaun-vict.
  12. A man takes his kids to the zoo, but the zoo only has 1 small dog on display.
  13. The largest man of Great Britain has passed away. They now call it Small Britain.
  14. What do you call a Pac-man that hasn't yet matured? Small-Pac's (smallpox).
  15. Did you see the space jump? It was a giant leap for man, and a small step for mankind.

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Small Man Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about small man you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean little guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make small man pranks.

Small, skinny man is sitting in a pub...

There is a beer in front of him. A macho, muscular man enters the pub, taps him on the shoulder and drinks his beer! The skinny man starts crying. The big man:
\- Oh, stop crying, baby. That's just one beer...
The small man:
\- Okay, listen! Today my wife left me, my bank account is empty, my house is empty! I even got fired from my job. I didn't want to live anymore, so i tried to kill myself. I lay down on the rails - they changed the train route! i tried to hang myself - the rope broke! I tried to shoot myself - the gun broke! And now, i'm buying a beer with my last money, i'm pouring poison inside and you're drinking it!

worst day

A small man sits in a bar with his beer when another, larger man comes into the bar walks up to the small one, hits him on the shoulder grabs his beer and drinks it in one shot. The small one then starts crying horrible. The other man starts to feel sorry for him and says: "Hey man, it's just a beer, i'll get you another" The small man continues crying and replies:
"Just a beer? Then listen to what happened to me today. I got fired, my wife left me, got thrown out of my house, my bank account got closed. I decided to take my life. I want to cut my wrists, knife blunt. I lay on the railway, dead track. I want to hang myself, rope tears. Now I buy some beer with the little money I have left, pour poison in it, and you drink it!"

A man walks into a bar

And pulls out a small piano, a small chair, and a small man. Theman walks over to the piano and starts playing it.
Everyone in the bar is amazed. They ask the man how he did it.
There's a genie outside granting wishes, says the man.
Upon hearing this, one of the bar patrons runs out of the bar and asks the genie, Are you granting wishes?
The genie says yes, so the man asks, give me a million bucks! And bam! A million ducks appear.
The guy goes back into the bar and says, hey! That genie is deaf!
The other guys replies, yeah, I know. Do you think i'd ask for a 12-inch pianist?

How are skinny jeans like a small mansion?

They have no ball room.

Did you hear the police are looking for a small man with one eye?

If he's that small you'd think they'd use 2 eyes?

Everybody said I must be an insecure, small man to try and marry multiple people.

I think they're wrong, I think it's big-o'-me!

A man walks into the bar and takes a stool next to a duck on the bar...

Man: what's with the duck?
Bartender: oh he's magic
M: what?
B: magic... So you whisper your greatest desire in his ear and immediately he grants it
M: no way
B: try it!
The man leans into the ducks ear and whispers something and *p**...* a small man in a suit with tails and a white bow tie appears on the bar.
M: well it must be broken because I didn't ask for a 12 inch pianist...

A strong man owned a restaurant.

The man had a challenge to anyone who came in. The strong man would squeeze all the juice out of a lemon then challenge the other person to squeeze out at least one more drop.if they win they get a free dinner. many strong people came, but not one could do it.until a small and scrawny man walks in. he takes the challenge. the strong man squeezes.then the small man, and he squeezes out THREE more drops! the strong man was amazed and asked what job this man had to be so strong. the small man replied "I work for the IRS".

A man walks into a bar and puts a shoebox down on the table...

He says, "I'll have a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels for my friend in the box."
The bartender looks down and sees a small man playing the piano. He brings the drinks and then asks, "Where'd you get this little guy?"
The man at the bar replies, "I was walking on the beach when I found a bottle lying in the sand. I was dusting it off when a genie came out and this was my first wish."
The bartender is thinking that maybe he can trade something for this guys wish. Now, this guy is feeling pretty generous so he agrees to giving up his second wish in exchange for free food and drinks. The bartender grabs the bottle, rubs it, and exclaims, "I wish for a million bucks!"
Then, the door slams open and a million white ducks come marching into the bar.
The man at the bar says, "I think the genie is hard of hearing."
"What makes you say that?" asks the bartender.
"You think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

worst day

A small man sits in a bar with his beer. Suddenly another, larger man comes into the bar walks up to the small one hits him on the shoulder grabs his beer and drinks it in one shot. The small one then starts to cry horrible. The other man who feels sorry for him now says: "Hey man, it's just a beer, i'll get you another"
The small man continues crying and replies: "Just a beer? Then listen what happened to me today.
I got fired, my wife left me, got thrown out of my house, my bank account got closed. I decided to take my life.
I want to cut my wrists, knife blunt.
I lay on the railway, dead track.
I want to hang myself, rope tears.
Now I buy beer with my last money left pour poison into it, and you take it away and drink it"

The big sale.

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper)were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line...
"That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

jokes about small man