But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
It didn't help that she was still wearing them.
Or that his whole family was there.
That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.
And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..
An ISIS member's penis.
It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
That when you put it in a girl her immune system tries to fight it.
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah that's the one"
He's a small arms dealer.
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns.
One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says, "So how is your strange business going?"
"What do you mean strange?"
"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"
"So?"
"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?"
"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun."
He's a small arms dealer.
The patient replies: "But, Doctor, my name is not Jim." The surgeon says: "I know. I'm Jim."
My wife keeps telling me that if your relationship is strong a small penis shouldn't make any difference
I just wish she didn't have one at all...
A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had sex with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have sex with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"
The physicist builds a big fence and slowly reduces the size until he can't reduce the fence any longer.
The engineer measures each sheep, stacks them in a specific way, and then builds a fence around them.
The mathematician builds a small fence around himself, then defines himself to be outside the fence.
A small chest with no booty.
One's a little rapier...
start with a large fortune
But I still wish she didn't have one at all.
...she was quite a bit shocked when they all disagreed.
The performer suddenly realizes that these men have a poor view so he gets on a small platform. "Can you all see me now?" He asks them.
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"
It's a small scale operation
I said, "Just because you're unwilling to try new things, doesn't mean everyone's that frigid."
"No it's not that," she exclaimed,
"It's just the plumbers that come to our house have really small dicks."
I'm only making a little prophet.
Start off by investing a large fortune in Bitcoin.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah that's the one"
She was startled to find out that they all disagreed
Because only A's are acceptable.
He looks at her and says "I didn't know I would be playing in a cathedral".
I still wish she didn't have one though.
Kermit the Frog's full attention.
I own a small allotment. Every night someone throws soil in on top of in. I've absolutely no idea why.
The plot thickens.
A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked ...
How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied ...
Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
But I still think that she shouldn't have one.
Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
Jill replies, "You'll have to jack off then, 'cause I've got a headache."
I still wish she didn't have one though.
A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."
A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks
"I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.
was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big boobs."
We're only doing small gifts this year.
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
They're just doing their small part, because EA loves micro trans actions.
but the heavier ones need to be delivered by **crane**.
The teacher asked Alex if something was wrong, since he wasn't out with the others.
"It's because I'm in love with you, Alex told her.
"Well," the teacher replied - "What If I don't like small children?".
"Then...we'll just have to be careful, I guess".
A man is queuing at the five items or less checkout. The girl in front of him turns around and looks at his basket. He has a four pack of Heineken and an Indian meal for one. She smiles at him. He looks in her basket and sees a small bottle of wine and a Chinese meal for one. He says to her "You're single aren't you?" She gives a girly giggle and says "yes, how did you know?" The man replies "cause you're an ugly cunt".
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that new book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah that's the one!"
A man walks into a library and says "Excuse me, miss, but do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian goes to the computer, types a few things in, and says "I don't think it's in yet."
The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one..."
A small part of me disagrees.
Because B were too small and D were too large
Before the mother could respond, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."
Relaxing with a little smile, Sally's mother asked, "Really small was it?"
Sally replied, "No...salty."
Then its no wonder people are afraid of clowns
Most of them run away after being called father once or twice
I still wish she didn't have one, though.
...doctors described his condition as "stable".
Because he has small legs.
One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!
"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!
"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.
And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!
"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.
And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.
Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.
"I wish for a meatier shower!"
Doctors described his condition as stable.
In one, he has a few drinks, becomes the life of the party, gets lucky and has a splendid time.
In the other he drinks too much, picks a fight with the wrong company and ends up beaten to half of his life.
The next day, he happens to meet an old buddy. After some very small talk, his friend asks
" hey, so what did you do last night?"
the particle, bruised and beaten shouts "DAMN IT MAN did you have to ask!!"
He goes straight to the bar and asks the barmaid for a beer which she begins to pour, while he's waiting he notices their small food menu to the side:
Cheese Sandwich £5
Ham Sandwich £5
Handjob £5
In disbelief he looks up at the barmaid who is absolutely gorgeous and asks "Are you the one who gives the handjobs?", "Yep" she replies with a smile. He checks his wallet for the £5 and says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich."
but I still wish she didn't have one.
and sitting next to him is a small boy eating chocolate bar after chocolate bar. The man turns to him and says, "It's probably not that healthy to eat so much chocolate." The boy stares at the man and eats another piece of chocolate. After swallowing, the boy says, "My grandfather lived to be 110 years old." The man asks, "How did he do that? Did he eat a lot of chocolate too?" The boy replies with, "No, he minded his own fucking business."
He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
She never told anyone. Anything. Ever. Again.
Me to Librarian - Have you got a copy of the new title, Living with a small penis?
Librarian – I don't think it's in yet.
Me to Librarian - Yep that's the one.
Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy.
Two good friends go golfing and they come up on two women who are moving like molasses. One guy says that he'll go up and ask if they can play through. When he's half way to the women, he freezes, turns around and comes back pretty pale.
"Sorry man, I can't do it! One's my wife and the other my mistress!"
The other guy says he'll ask instead. Halfway to the women he suddenly stops turns around and comes back shaking his head. "Small world bro!"
I asked her what that meant, she said that means I have really small pupils.
Because B shells are too small and D shells are too big.
"A harp", I replied.
"No, no. You're much too small to be a harp" he protested.
So I asked, "are you calling me a lyre?"
Customer: No thanks, I'd have no use.
Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!
Customer: I can't read this, it's too small!
Man: Boy have I got the product for you!
A black hole and a nebula are at a restaurant. The nebula orders a ginormous amount of food and the black hole only orders a drink and a small appetizer.
The nebula says the the black hole, "Are you sure you don't want more?"
The black hole replies, "Nah, I eat light"
An ISIS members' dick.
Nothing. Sorry if you clicked on this to make yourself feel better.
"do you have the book for men with a small penis?"
She replies "I don't know if it's in yet"
"yeah, that's the one "
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