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Small Feet Jokes

43 small feet jokes and hilarious small feet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about small feet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Why do people with small feet have more fun? Because they can always find a good place to hide!

Funniest Small Feet Short Jokes

Short small feet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The small feet humour may include short small hands jokes also.

  1. the miracle of being a teen mom when you get pregnant young and your baby is born, hes feet are so small but even so he manages to stomp your dreams and goals.
  2. I FINALLY opened my shoe store that only sells large sizes. Let me tell you, that was no small feet.
  3. The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live? My house
  4. Police are looking for an escaped convict who is 4 feet tall and can communicate with ghosts. He is a small medium at large.
  5. Small office joke My office is so small that when my feet are under my desk I trip people walking down the hall!
  6. Why do women have small feet and get married in white? To match the kitchen appliances and get closer to the sink to wash up.
  7. You know what they say about men with small feet... ...they're very good with their hands.
  8. We're told men with large feet have large d**... and men with big cars have small d**... You would almost think these stereotypes were conceived by clowns.
  9. The say people with big feet.. Have big p**... and people with small cars also have big p**....
    No wonder people are so afraid of clown.

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Small Feet One Liners

Which small feet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with small feet? I can suggest the ones about small people and large feet.

  1. You know why dolly parton has small feet? Nothing grows in the shade.
  2. Almost all of my family has shoe sizes under 9.5" So me being size 12" is no small feet
  3. A friend told me she had only ever dated guys with big feet That is no small feet
  4. How does a cat land on its feet and fit through small places? Mew-tonian physics.
  5. Why does women have so small feet? To be able to stand closer to the stove.
  6. You know what they say about small feet... Big truck
  7. What do you get when you cross a river and a small brook. Wet feet!
  8. Why are women's feet so small? So they can stand closer to the sink.
  9. Girl with small feet? Will do great in kitchen

Quirky and Hilarious Small Feet Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about small feet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean huge feet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make small feet pranks.

Fed up

A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Democratic Party? " "About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly. "NO! " exploded the teacher.. "I mean, how MANY members does it have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches? " "Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hands to his chin and says.. "I've had it up to HERE with the Democratic Party! "

Why was the fisherman upset with his new property?

After selling his sole for a small plaice perched by the sea (something to the tuna 500 square feet), he found something fishy within contract and realised he cod do better if he weren't such a cheap-skate.

A father and son are walking across a small stream

The boy slips falls. His body gets wedged between two boulders, effectively blocking the flow of water. Father says "Dam son" before quickly helping helping him to his feet and they continue on their way.

Buddy Hackett duck joke

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded,
"I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied,
"This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said,
"I am one of the best trial lawyers in Canada and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said,
"Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in Alberta. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule.' The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said,
"Okay, you old f**.... Now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."

An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada.

He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...
It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.
The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.
His feet feel refreshed!
The street has gorgeous s**... and embankments, like an alleyway out of Florence in the 1500s, but made out of clay stones.
He sees two gentlemen working on fixing a small crack in the street, the only blemish for blocks.
One of them is pounding down the clay with a wide-head sledgehammer, thwap thwap!
The other is on his knees with a compass and a pick and a broom, adjusting the grade of the street material.
He interrupts them to say, Excuse me gentlemen! I hate to be a bother, but I just want to applaud your hard work on this alleyway. It's rare a city takes such good care with its streets and this one is one of the best.
The man with the sledge stops and says, Well, we appreciate that sir. You know your streets, it seems! Would it surprise you to know that the composition of this street is not adobe? It's mulched with our native nut trees, the cashew nut. That's what gives it its softness. When it rains, the petrichor has a slight sweetness due to the cashew, and the town smells fantastic. I'm just hammering it down before it gets too cold.
Well, I'll be! cried the archaeologist. And what's that fellow up to? pointing to the man on his knees.
Oh him! He's in charge of checking the grade of the clay. If it's too rough, he picks and sweeps it. Backbreaking work. We hire four of them, one for each season. And since autumn just arrived, he's got a few months yet. So you see...
And here the man paused...
So you see...my hammered alley is really 'cashews clay'. And he is the gradist.
The gradist...of fall time.

Some Mexicans were hunting moose in Canada for the first time and their first day out they shot a giant beautiful one with huge antlers.

They each grabbed a side of the antlers and started dragging it back to their truck snagging and catching small trees and bushes and making little progress. A Canadian saw them doing this and told them it would be easier if they dragged the moose by it's feet.
They took his advice and the antlers stopped getting caught on everything when they dragged it.
After awhile one Mexican said to the other
"This works really great but we keep getting further and further away from the truck"

Stalin is into the fifth hour of his speech, when someone sneezes

***"Who sneezed!"***, he shouts.
No one answers.
***"First row, stand up"***... they obediently get on their feet.
***"Guards, shoot them"***... they're gunned down where they stood.
***"Now who sneezed?"*** ... still nothing.
***"Second row, on your feet ... guards, shoot them."***
***"Now who sneezed?"*** ... absolute silence.
***"Third row, stand up ... "***
A small backbencher gets up. He's uncontrollably sobbing.
*"I sneezed! I sneezed!!"*
Stalin stares at him and says, ***"Bless you, comrade."***

Two hunters had just finished hunting moose in the middle of nowhere...

They make it back to the small airport nearby, and argue with the pilot about flying home.
"There's no way my plane is gonna make it anywhere with that huge moose in it!" says the pilot.
"We had this same argument last year with a pilot, and he flew us out of here." says one of the hunters.
The pilot mulled it over a little, and doubled his price, but agreed to take them on.
Everything gets loaded up, and the pilot does a shaky take-off, but manages to get into the air. Unfortunately, he doesn't make it far before the load becomes too much for the plane, and they c**... land back into the woods.
Luckily, everyone survives, and as the second hunter stumbles out of the wreckage, he asks the first, "How far did we make it?"
The first looks around and says, "About 100 feet further than last year."

The Royal Honeymoon.

On the day of her wedding to Prince William, Catherine gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Catherine's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear William say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers Camilla to the Prince Charles, "I told you she was a v**...."
Then, to their surprise, they hear William say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Prince Charles. "Once an Etonian, always an Etonian."

the golf course frog

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'ribbit 9 iron'. Strange, he thought but what the heck. He pulls out his 9 iron and hits a perfect shot onto the green, 2 feet from the pin. With a smile he turns to the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. The frog hops onto his cart and proceeds to tell him the exact perfect club for each shot that day and the man ends up shooting the round of his life.
Following the round of golf, beer in hand, the man smiled at the frog and said 'you must be my lucky charm'. With something near a smile (or as close as an amphibian can get), the frog said 'ribbit Vegas'.
On a whim, the man buys a plane ticket and flies with the small frog, in his carry on to las Vegas. Sitting on the mans shoulder, the frog proceeded to tell him which roulette numbers to play to the point where the man was up tens of thousands of dollars. The winning streak continued all night and caught the attention of the pit boss, who comped the man a room in their finest suite.
Sitting in the suites hit tub and enjoying a $500 bottle of fine cognac, the man turned to the frog and said 'I don't know how to thank you. You gave me the greatest golf round I've ever played and now more money than I can earn in 3 years. Is there anything I can do for you?' The frog looked the man in the eyes and said 'Ribbit, kiss me'. After a wince, the man thinks what the heck and picks the frog up and gives it a kiss. Like magic, the frog suddenly turned into a beautiful, blond, n**......14 year old girl.
...and I swear, your honor, that's exactly how she ended up in my room!

the old man

Some older guy was following me around at a small grocery store, always about 10 feet back. He kept looking at me and sighing. I thought he was some old gay pervert, but I was wrong. He got to the store's single checkout line just before I did. There he turned to me and told me something quite heart wrenching. He said he was sorry for staring, but I looked exactly like his son who had died fighting in Iraq ten years before. He asked if it would be too weird if he could give me a hug and say goodbye as some sort of closure. I though it harmless so agreed. He gave me a hug and said, good bye, son. And then he left the store with his groceries. As I had my few items scanned and went to pay, I was outraged at the total. It was much more than my few items warranted. I asked the cashier to explain the situation, and she said that my father said I was covering his groceries too.

The Duck Priest

There once was a pond that many ducks called home, and near that pond was a small catholic church. Inside of that church was a duck priest and a small confessional with rarely any visitors
One day, the duck priest was sitting around and a duck walked in and came to the confessional. The duck said to the priest "father, I have sinned." The priest responded, "Ok my son, what is your name and what do you need to confess?" The duck responded "My name is Duck and I blew bubbles in the pond." The priest then responded "Ok Duck, you've been forgiven but you know the rules, there's no blowing bubbles in the pond and you're banned from the pond for the week."
Duck agreed and walked out, feeling better. Later that same day, a second duck walked into the Church and again approached the confessional, saying he had sinned. Again the father asked " What is your name and what do you need to confess?" The second duck responded "My name is Duck Duck and I blew bubbles in the pond." Again, the priest responded that Duck Duck had been forgiven, but was banned from the pond for the week.
Duck Duck left feeling much better. Finally, right before the priest was going to go to bed, a third duck came in and approached the confessional. Because this was a busy day, the priest merely said "Let me guess, your name is Duck Duck Duck and you blew bubbles in the pond?"
The third duck looked down at his feet and muttered "No, I'm Bubbles."

The good pastor

One day Pastor Flaps was walking past the pub when he saw, through the window, one of his congregation sitting at the bar drinking whiskey.
Not wanting any of his flock to be part-taking in this evil pass-time he rushed in shouting, "Mary, Mary put that down and you are coming home with me."
So Mary drops the glass and staggers to her feet but looses her balance and falls into Pastor Flaps, sending him flying too, as he was just a small wee man. Anyways Mary ends up lying on top of the Pastor, skirt up around her neck and passes out drunk.
When the bar man, who was in another room, comes in to see what all the noise was about and sees Mary on top of the Pastor on the ground he comes to the wrong conclusion and shouts "Hey stop now and get up!!! There will be no s**... in this Pub".
To which the priest says "You don't understand, I am Pastor Flaps" so the barman gives up and replies "Ah well if you're that far in you might as well keep going!!!"

Magic sandals

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'
So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at s**....'
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the s**... God that he was.
The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a s**... freak?'
The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'
Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.
As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!
In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.
The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'

In honor of Easter.. I present to you a small joke.

Jesus made his usual rounds in heaven when he noticed a wizened, white-haired old man sitting in a corner looking very disconsolate. The next week he was disturbed to come across him again, looking equally miserable, and a week later he stopped to talk to him.
"See here, old fellow," said Jesus kindly, "this is heaven. The sun is shining, you've got all you could want to eat, all the instruments you might want to play-- you're supposed to be blissfully happy! What's wrong?
"Well," said the old man, "you see, I was a carpenter on earth, and lost my only, dearly beloved son at an early age. And here in heaven I was hoping more than anything to find him."
"Tears sprang from Jesus' eyes. "FATHER!" he cried.
The old man jumped to his feet, bursting into tears, and sobbed, "PINOCCHIO!"

A couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot.
The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.
On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.
Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.
Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

jokes about small feet