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Small Dog Jokes

64 small dog jokes and hilarious small dog puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about small dog that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Small Dog Jokes

Short small dog jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The small dog humour may include short small baby jokes also.

  1. I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
  2. In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise. This is due to the corgiolis effect.
  3. Me: I got bitten in the park by a huge dog Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child
    Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice
  4. I need to re-home a dog I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.
    If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
  5. Have you heard what scientists are saying about Pluto? Apparently he's too small to be a dog.
  6. I visited a small village where they had a cat for a king and a dog for a queen... ...they were reigning cats and dogs.
  7. Why does getting one small dog with a smushed up face lead to getting many more dogs? It's a gateway Pug
  8. A woman goes to an almost empty zoo and all that was there was a small dog... it was a shih tzu.
  9. I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog and an empty gorilla enclosure...
    It was a shotzu.
  10. Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first? All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about small dog can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of small dog puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Small Dog One Liners

Which small dog one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with small dog? I can suggest the ones about kids dog and small man.

  1. What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog? A shih tzu
  2. Recently went to the new zoo in town, all it had was a single small dog. It was a shitzu.
  3. What do you call a small dog that can store food? Pupperware
  4. What do you call a very loud, small dog? A Subwoofer
  5. What do you get when you cross a small dog with a donkey? A Jack Russell Derrière.
  6. I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow It was a terrier bull idea.
  7. What do you call a small Japanese dog? A konnichihuahua.
  8. What contains a small dog and an insect? Repugnant.
  9. What do you call a Zoo that contains only small dogs? A Shitzu.
  10. Why did the Hispanic man name his small dog "Spanish"? It was a Spaniel.
  11. What do you call a small dog that doesn't pay for its meals? A dine-and-daschund
  12. What do you call it when you have dogs building a small garden garage? They're shedding.
  13. Yesterday, I punted a small dog off a bridge
  14. A man takes his kids to the zoo, but the zoo only has 1 small dog on display.
  15. I went to the zoo - it only had one animal, a small dog. It was a shitsu

Small Dog Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about small dog you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean little person jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make small dog prank.

Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked, "What's the matter Mary? What has upset you?" The blonde neighbor replied, "My dog has died and I'm going to bury it here." Mr. Brown said, "You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?" She answered, "The first two were too small."

I was once friends with an albino Dalmatian

He was tired of being made fun of for being completely white, so he decided to get small round tattoos inked all over his body. He was just $20 short.
I told him, Don't worry Dog, I'll spot you.

The elbow

A man is complaining to his friend: "My elbow really hurts. I think I need to see a doctor." His friend answers: "Dude, this is 2012, in the supermarket they have a new computer that can diagnose much faster and cheaper. Just place a u**... sample in the machine and it says what's wrong, and that only for $1!"
The man decides to take a shot, fills a glass with u**..., goes to the supermarket, finds the computer and pours his u**... into the computer. Immediately a small paper is printed and comes out of the computer: "TENNIS ELBOW. Keep your arm warm for a few days and avoid heavy lifting. In two weeks you'll be better."
The former scriptkiddie is impressed and decides to see if he can confuse the computer. He mixes dishwashing water with diarrhea from his dog, together with some u**... from his wife and daughter. To finish it he masturbates and drops his s**... into the cup and mixes everything again.
when he arrives in the supermarked he drops his mixture into the computer. The computer spits out a little less small paper: "Your tap water contains too much calcium, buy softener. Your dog has parasites, give him medicines. Your daughter smokes marihuana, speak with her. Your wife is pregnant and you're not the father, get yourself a good lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better!

The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised the when the pilots arrive.

The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...

A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:
"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" Says the dog.
"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"
Again, the dog says "Roof!"
"Remarkable! So what do you think?"
The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."
Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

So, I'm taking a walk around New York...

With my pet snake. We're walking around having a grand ol' time and then I see it, a small little hot dog stand! I go up to the guy and ask, "Could I get a hotdog, plain please." Now, this hot dog is the best I've ever had! So I think, naturally, that I have to get one for my snake so I ask the man, "Could I get another hot dog for my snake," and the guy informs me, "sorry, but I just ran out of buns," to which I reply, "My Andaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun."

A child gets on a bus

So a child of seven jumps on a bus. The driver, noticing he's alone, tells him to sit in the seat closest to the front.
After the bus has started the kid says: "Hey mister driver?"
Driver:"Yes?"
Child:"Did you know, that if my mummy was a dog, and my daddy was a dog, that I would be a dog?"
The driver chuckles at this cute comment and says:"No, I did not"
After a while the child says again:" Mister driver, did you know that if my mummy was a giraffe, and my daddy was a giraffe, that I would be a giraffe?"
The driver laughs again, with a bit less enthusiasm and says:" No I didn't know that."
The child starts listing almost every animal that driver has heard of, and it starts to annoy him more and more, until finally he yells:"WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER WAS A p**..., AND YOUR FATHER WAS AN ALCOHOLIC!!?!"
The kid looks up at the man with a small smile and says:"Well then I'd be a bus driver."

A man is standing on a street corner when a f**... procession drives by.

It consisted of 2 hearses, followed by a man with a small dog on a leash and he was followed by a long line of men in single file.
He asked the man with the small dog;
"Whose in the first hearse?"
"My wife," the man replied.
"What happened to her?" he asked.
"Dog killed her."
"Whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother in law."
"What happened to her?"
"Dog killed her."
"That dog?"
"Yup," he said.
"Can I borrow him."
"Get in line."

A reporter is doing an article on the russian rural life-style...

...and she ends up in a small village.
The first person she interviews is an old man.
Reporter: Can you tell me anything interesting about your village?
Old man: Well there was this one time when a dog from a neighbouring village got lost in our woods... so we found it and took turns having s**... with it.
The reporter now slightly scared replies: I'm afraid that's not something I can very well use, maybe something more...cheerful?
The old man replies: Very well, back in the day this very attractive woman from a neighbouring village got lost in our woods... so we found her and took turns having s**... with her.
The reporter now visibly disturbed replies: That's not going to work either... maybe something sad that happened then.
The old man replies: Well there was this one time when I got lost in the neighbouring forrest...

Clever kid.

A couple wants some private time, but their flat is small and they can't guarantee that their young son won't be able to hear them. In the end they come up with a plan- every time they want to make love they tell their son to stand out on the balcony and describe everything he sees (this way they get warning when he's about to come back in). So one evening the kid stands on the balcony and says "It's dark and the stars are out. I can see orion! A lot of the flats have their lights on. There's a man walking his dog, the Johnsons are having s**......"
The couple leap out of bed "what?! How can you tell that the Johnsons are having s**...?"
"I can see little Timmy Johnson standing out on their balcony."

Got a tattoo on the small of my back of 2 dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti.

It's a Lady and the t**... stamp.

Did you hear about the small French dog going around collecting signatures?

It was a petit chien.

What do you call a northeastern US state's principle dish, consisting of a small puffy Chinese dog and fried vegetables and noodles, wrapped around a lion's neck?

Maine's main chow chow chow mein mane

I took my niece to the zoo the other day...

The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.
I called the zookeeper over.
"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"
"It's a Shih-Tzu"

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all," the woman replied.
The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.
The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"
"Not at all." the woman replied.
The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

I saw a sign outside the pub.

It said: "Small Dogs and Children Allowed."
I thought...they can't be making much business.

Whst do you call a zoo that only exhibits small dogs?

A shitzoo.
Another original from my 10 year old. Not happy with the language but it made me smile :)

Ivanka Trump is walking a dog outside the White House...

A Secret Service agent sees her and says "Good Morning, Ma'am."
"Good morning." She replies.
"That's a very cute dog, ma'am." the agent says trying to make polite small talk.
"Oh, thank you. I got it for the President." She replies with a smile.
"Excellent trade, Ma'am."

A Scottish Terrier walks into a bank

He sits at the desk of the Loan Officer, a Ms. Patty Black. He asks if he's eligible for a small business loan.
Do you have any collateral? , Patty asks.
I do have this, replies the Terrier, rooting around in his bag and pulling out a small porcelain figurine.
I'm not sure if we can accept this, says Patty. Let me ask my manager.
Patty calls her manager over and explains the situation. The manager says
It's a knickknack, Patty Black, give the dog a loan.

A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.

—I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.
—That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?
—Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's t**... and choke him to death.

Dog attack

A guy limps up to a bar. "What happened to you?" the bartender asks. "On the walk over here I was attacked and bitten on the leg by this giant dog," the guy says. "Oh, no! Imagine if it had been a small child!" the bartender exclaims. "Well, I think I could have fought off a small child, Gary," the guy replies.

A man tells his friend that he has a dog in a suitcase who can play the piano.

The friend says ok let's see it . The man opens the suitcase and sure enough a small dog with a small piano comes out and plays the piano with great skill. As he plays a crowd gathers around to watch. After some time a female dog comes out from the crowd, picks him up by the scruff and carries him off. The friend asks what's going on is that part of his routine? The man says No that's his mother, she wants him to be a doctor.
(Translated from Hindi and relayed by my father in law)

A family go to the zoo

They're excited to see all the exotic animals, birds & reptiles. The first enclosure is empty, totally deserted. Unperturbed they carry on to the next one.. again it's empty!
Every single enclosure, cage, run and avery they encounter is empty, deserted and unkempt..
Except, right beside the exit is the last one; a single small solitary cage.
And in it sat a small furry creature.. a dog!
The father looked at it and it occurred to him,
"This is a shih tzu!"

jokes about small dog

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these small dog jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.