The Best 35 Small Dog Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Small Dog jokes. There are some small dog puppy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these small dog poodles puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Small Dog Jokes and Puns

I need to re-home a dog.

It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.

Ivanka Trump is walking a dog outside the White House...

A Secret Service agent sees her and says "Good Morning, Ma'am."

"Good morning." She replies.

"That's a very cute dog, ma'am." the agent says trying to make polite small talk.

"Oh, thank you. I got it for the President." She replies with a smile.

"Excellent trade, Ma'am."

A man was sitting on a park bench eating a hot dog.

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Almost immediately, the little dog began barking incessantly at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all," the woman replied.

The man picked the dog up and tossed him over a wall.

A man was eating a hotdog...

A woman with a small dog walked up to sit in another bench across from the man. Immediately the little dog began to bark at the man while he ate.

The man asked "Would you mind if I throw him a bit?"

"Not at all." the woman replied.

The man picked up the dog and tossed him over a wall.

Since we seem to be doing talking dog jokes today...

A man walks into a talent agency, carrying a small, scruffy looking dog. He sets the dog on the agent's desk and begins his speech:

"Sir, I have for you the most amazing act. This dog can speak. And not only can he speak, he's one of the most intelligent dogs you'll ever meet. Allow me to demonstrate: Dog, what is on the top of a house?"

"Roof!" Says the dog.

"Amazing! Dog: what is the opposite of smooth?"

"Roof!" the dog replies.

"Incredible! Dog: who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?"

Again, the dog says "Roof!"

"Remarkable! So what do you think?"

The agent leans back in his chair and says "Get lost. I can't sell that carny act."

Outside the agent's office, the dog looks up at the man and says "Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?"


Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.

Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.

He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:

1. Your tap water is too hard.

2. Get a water softener.

3. Your dog has ringworm.

4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

5. Your daughter is using cocaine.

6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.

7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

8. And if you don't stop masturbating, your elbow will never get better.

Me: I got bitten in the park by a huge dog

Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child

Me: I could have fought off a small child, Alice

What kind of zoo has no animals except for a small, yappy dog?

A shih tzu

I need to re-home a dog

I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.

If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.

A Scottish Terrier walks into a bank

He sits at the desk of the Loan Officer, a Ms. Patty Black. He asks if he's eligible for a small business loan.

Do you have any collateral? , Patty asks.

I do have this, replies the Terrier, rooting around in his bag and pulling out a small porcelain figurine.

I'm not sure if we can accept this, says Patty. Let me ask my manager.

Patty calls her manager over and explains the situation. The manager says

It's a knickknack, Patty Black, give the dog a loan.

Recently went to the new zoo in town, all it had was a single small dog.

It was a shitzu.

You can explore small dog dog reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean small dog terrier dad jokes. There are also small dog puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Have you heard what scientists are saying about Pluto?

Apparently he's too small to be a dog.

I took my niece to the zoo the other day...

The only animal there was a small, scruffy looking dog.

I called the zookeeper over.

"What's with the scruffy old dog? Why is that the only animal?"

"It's a Shih-Tzu"

What do you call a small dog that can store food?

Pupperware

A dog owner is relaxing in the park when a man approaches.

β€”I'm sorry, but my chihuahua just killed your dog.

β€”That's absurd, my dog is a mastiff. How your ridiculously small chihuahua could possibly kill mine?

β€”Well, my dog got stuck in your dog's throat and choke him to death.

What do you call a very loud, small dog?

A Subwoofer

Got a tattoo on the small of my back of 2 dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti.

It's a Lady and the Tramp stamp.

I visited a small village where they had a cat for a king and a dog for a queen...

...they were reigning cats and dogs.

I was once friends with an albino Dalmatian

He was tired of being made fun of for being completely white, so he decided to get small round tattoos inked all over his body. He was just $20 short.

I told him, Don't worry Dog, I'll spot you.


I once tried to Frankenstein a small dog with a cow

It was a terrier bull idea.

Why does getting one small dog with a smushed up face lead to getting many more dogs?

It's a gateway Pug

What do you call a small Japanese dog?

A konnichihuahua.

A woman goes to an almost empty zoo and all that was there was a small dog...

it was a shih tzu.

What contains a small dog and an insect?

Repugnant.

I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog

and an empty gorilla enclosure...

It was a shotzu.

Why do drugs for small dogs have to be tested on larger ones first?

All canine drugs must be lab tested before their public release.

What do you call a Zoo that contains only small dogs?

A Shitzu.

Why did the Hispanic man name his small dog "Spanish"?

It was a Spaniel.

What do you call a small dog that doesn't pay for its meals?

A dine-and-daschund

Did you hear about the small French dog going around collecting signatures?

It was a petit chien.

What do you call it when you have dogs building a small garden garage?

They're shedding.

Whst do you call a zoo that only exhibits small dogs?

A shitzoo.

Another original from my 10 year old. Not happy with the language but it made me smile :)

I saw a sign outside the pub.

It said: "Small Dogs and Children Allowed."

I thought...they can't be making much business.

Yesterday, I punted a small dog off a bridge

What do you call a northeastern US state's principle dish, consisting of a small puffy Chinese dog and fried vegetables and noodles, wrapped around a lion's neck?

Maine's main chow chow chow mein mane

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the small dog pit bull jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working small dog pugs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes